I dt know what to do anymore

[Sorrow]

:weep:I dt really know what to do anymore...I dt even know how to start but I feel I'll blow up soon. I know U all hv biggest probs than me cos I dt take any drugs but my husband does. I've met him 5 yrs ago and I've married him this yr...Things were diffucult between us since the begining cos we both from 2 different countries but I knew he was taking seroxat since few yrs. I love him very much. I know I've proved this many times but he's just pushing me away...
I call him and I just simply wnat know how he is at the moment or waiting all day to get home and talk ab work day things as everybody else and he's just always unhappy and rude sometimes. I just can really explain all that but I feel stms he's sinking and I cant help cos he doesnt want it. I feel my brain so tired and body ill.. I think ab divorce cos we dt even live together - he just left to be sometime his place. Am really bad I want still give so much but I feel all just gone.
I dt know anythg anymore.
I cant talk to anybody cos he didnt want anybody knows ab serox so am just in a cage.
What sd I do then?

[verity]

Hi Hun, have you spoken to him about how much his behaviour is distressing you? He maybe depressed but it takes effort from both of you to make a marriage work. You cant do it all on your own. Do you think he would agree to go to marriage counselling?

[Sorrow]

Hello.Thank u for yr concern, the prob is he doesnt want do anythg like that. I read many thgs ab that drugg ,sides effects,illness etc to be able to ustand at least feelings. Am v patient from my nature so I try be soft even if stms wd be better walking on walls. First I asked to be in touch with his doc not only when need prescription but maybe change treatment. NO. I proposed find some treatment as I read here people go talk, find the cause, helping themselves.NO.I said I'll go with him to work on it together.NO
Ethg I say its bad.Ethg I do its bad.Hes v rude and I dt get much love from him even if I still feel he loves me too.
I think its a circle cos hes scared to feel bad and when he feels bad hes getting worse.I think he doesnt ustand himself what happening to him when he feels so bad but he cant open and trust to feel someone loves him much.And thats v cruel cos I can see him changing like getting ironman more and more and I cant stop it if he doesnt want help.
Sorry being so blahblabling but its just so many things...
Nice say all this to You ( I know Am "the other side" but didnt know where to go with all this).
Thank You.

[MatthewH]

Bless you Sorrow, it must be very tough for you.
If it helps you in any way, heres a little story of mine...
During a period before my fiancee and myself were, well, fiancee's, i had a panic attack. Then another. And another. Then developed GAD. So i was all over the place, stressed out, confused, miserable, upset, angry with the world, and probably said and did a lot of things which upset my other half.
I had no intention of doing it, but i did. I couldn't even tell you why i did it now.
The problem with anxiety is that some people like to be left alone. I used to really get upset and angry at the same time if my fiancee would ask me 'Are you ok?' 'Are you sure?' 'You sure you're ok?'
It used to drive me insane, because i wasn't ok, but didnt want to tell her i wasnt. I would grit my teeth, struggle on, feel worse for it, and just want to be left alone.
We broke up more than once.
I would hate myself for ruining nights out, and, due to my job, would only get the odd weekend or two a month to see her. When we did see each other, i would 'suggest' we stay in (So i wouldnt feel ill on a night out). This would make her anxious, thinking it was her looks, her body, something about her. She even asked me if i was embarrassed about her once, stating that we never went to the pub together, and that there must of been a reason why i didnt want to be seen in public with her.

Skip forward about a year, and things couldnt be better. She knows everything about me and my condition, how best to help me, and i now know that if i feel ill, all i have to do is tell her, and we can come home, without me having to worry about upsetting her. We very recently went to a car boot sale, and i had to leave after 2 hours due to my anxiety being so severe i was physically sick. When i got home, i burst into tears, and she did too. Not because she was mad, or angry, but because she was sad that i felt ill.

What i'm trying to say is, if he married you, i would put money on the fact he adores and loves you. Its just sometimes hard for us men to want to open up, and admit that we arent all strong and manly men. It's difficult to cope with these conditions and problems, and sometimes it gets to the best of us all. It's something to do with caring that much for somebody, wanting to give them everything in the world, but not being able to. It drives us all insane. And it's horrible to say, but as somebody close to him, you take the brunt. You can't do anything if he doesnt want the help from you, but you can always be there for him. Let him know he's not alone, but that there's no shame in what he's going through. But if he ever hurts you, then that's not acceptable in any way.

Men like to be providers, and in a way i can see what you're husband is doing. He's doing now what i did not all that long ago myself. He'll come around eventually! You just need to give him some time, and let him know you're there for him, but not try to do too much, or he'll resent it.

Hope that helps. Maybe explain to him how you feel pushed out of his life? How you want to help him but can't with the way he's acting. Or maybe even show him this page, so he can see what you're going through, as well as what he is dealing with.

Best of luck, and i;m sure the forum members here will be here if you need us!