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View Full Version : Really struggling - help and advice appreciated !



Paul33
27-05-10, 22:14
My 12 year old daughter has suffered from a fear of vomiting for about six years now, probably brought on by some traumatic event involving one of her siblings being ill many years back.

The phobia can lie apparantly dormant for months and then an event will trigger a bout of 2/3 weeks of real anxiety, panic attacks and worries. As parents, we have tended to let things go as the bouts are so short and she is so bright and happy for so long inbetween but she started a real bad bout in early April and it is still crippling her nearly seven weeks on.

We had to pull her from school two weeks ago because her stress levels were getting real bad - lots of tears to deal with and she hasn't come close to returning. She is struggling to eat or drink and has lost so much weight that she must be borderline being hospitalized. She had a trip to the hospital last week but blood tests revealed no "critical" problems even though she was underweight.

She had months of NHS therapy at the end of 2009 but she was unaffected by the emetophobia throughout thus it was pretty useless. It was also very CBT based and very mecahnical and rational which really doesn't work well with a 12 year old once she has an anxiety attack.

We have seen doctors and they just refer us to therapists who, in turn, appear to be inadequately skilled to deal with such a specialist phobia and with one so young. My daughter now really hates therapists and defiantly clams up at any sessions, refusing to even raise her head let alone talk.

She is a very depressed child and is really struggling both mentally and physically and there seems nobody out there who can or wants to help her.

Her specific issue is with "tummy feelings" which she associates with impending vomiting so she is reluctant to eat or drink because she can then "feel" the food/drink. Her misery is compounded because an empty stomach also gives her feelings and triggers the same irrational response so she is pretty much worried 24/7 !

We are contemplating private hypno-therapy or hypno-analysis but we are not wealthy and we don't know if we are wasting our money but we are a desperate family with a desperately ill child that the state seems to have no solution for until, presumably, she collapses and ends up on a drip.

Would really love anything postive that anybody can offer here as we feel lost, useless and helpless at the moment and, more important, our precious little daughter is going through hell.

nomorepanic
27-05-10, 22:16
Hi Paul33

A huge warm welcome to nmp.

You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.

Best wishes

ElizabethJane
27-05-10, 23:01
Dear Paul I dont know where you are in the country? Please try to get your daughter a referral to the 'Cassel Hospital in Ham Surrey. This is an NHS hospital for functional nervous diseases. They have an adolescent/childrens unit there and are specialists in psychotherapy. They take referrals from all over the country. If you can afford to go private the Priory group are dedicated to childrens therapy and treatment. I do hope that you can find the therapy that your daughter desperately needs.

Paul33
28-05-10, 00:08
It appears our doctors are unable to refer to anybody other than local cambridgeshire NHS therapists who are evidently struggling with a shortage of resources and funding. We have appointments cancelled, people don't return our calls or respond to emails.

We have to be very careful with finding solutions as our daughter, via her phobia, has a real issue with hospitals in general and the one time she did have half a day in there, she didn't eat or drink anything for 36 hours afterwards such was the trauma.

She's also just a 12 year old kid so, as I'm sure you can imagine, isn't keen to be whisked away into any form of residential clinic. Of course if it is the only solution then we'll have to be cruel to be kind but we'd have to be pretty certain of a good result to put her through such a traumatic experience as such traumas tend to have a real bad impact on her phobia.

Her phobia, deep though it is, does appear to be very particular in the way it works. She is normally a very brave, outgoing, fearless child so is in no way somebody unable to handle stress, anxiety in general which is why we are wondering whether something along the lines of hypno-therapy might work ..... despite my cynicism about such forms of treatment.

Has anybody had experiences with such treatments, good or bad ? Any advice on what to look for and what to avoid ?

Paul33
28-05-10, 07:36
Thanks for that.

My daughter also believes this may have started with the incident I recall about six years ago but I don't think she really knows as she was so young then.

Ironically, she has not vomitted in the last six years at all - she is usually very well and healthy so that may make the fear worse. I understand some people think vomiting is a real bad experience but many don't see it as that much of a big deal.

Our complication at the moment is that her steady deterioration in physical condition has meant that she simply can't wait otherwise her medical/physical state of health will have to be addressed first and that, potentially, will make her phobia even worse.

If she was eating and drinking but just worrying then we'd be more relaxed.

unspoken
28-05-10, 22:46
Hi, I think I can identify with this. I am 21 and have had emetophobia for.. well... I'm not sure really. Since I was 6 years old I think. I had a stomach bug at that age and was ill for a couple of days. I remember for months afterwards I was afraid to cough in case I was sick. I wasn't sick again until I was 13. That time though, it was really sudden and in an awkward social situation. I still don't really know what triggered it. Around that time, I had recurring tonsillitus and for some reason I felt extremely nauseous every time I ate. This went on for several months with me barely eating because it became psychological. I saw doctors but no one ever suggested it was psychological, they just gave me a lot of antibiotics and some anti-sickness medications. I couldn't eat at lunch time or if I was with other people and I had to distract myself from the fact I was eating because if I thought about it, I'd immediately feel nauseous. Despite all that, I didn't throw up again until I was 18 and got a minor stomach bug as a university student. I have had IBS since then so I think part of my phobia is with getting ill because it triggered me to develop IBS. Last year I developed acid reflux, which caused me to have panic attacks because I thought I was going to be sick. A year ago, when I was doing my final university exams, 2 of my housemates got a horrible sickness bug. I developed OCD and had panic attacks and couldn't eat or sleep or leave the house because I thought I'd just suddenly be sick.

It wasn't until I joined this site that I found out that emetophobia is a recognised condition that affects a lot of people. I don't know if you've seen this book: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Living-Emetophobia-Coping-Extreme-Vomiting/dp/1843105365/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1275082318&sr=1-1 it might make interesting/helpful reading. Also this site: http://fearofvomiting.co.uk/index.htm the therapy seems to be based in London but it is very specific to emetophobia. You could try contacting the psychiatrist on the website for some advice.

It is a great irony that most emetophobics are very rarely sick. I think it sort of makes it worse, that we build it up to be this awful thing, almost worse than death. Does your daughter know what exactly it is about being sick that scares her so much? There's the social aspect of losing control in an awkward situation. There's the worry that it is part of a greater illness. There is the fear of the actual physical sensation and experience. I have been trying to figure out what exactly it is that scares me about it. It's good that you are taking her seriously.

I don't know exactly how to get her to eat and drink. Certainly a little at a time is the way. Has she ever been prescribed anti-sickness medication? I was prescribed Buccastem, they dissolve under your lip, as I wasn't able to swallow pills when I was younger. If she knows that she CAN'T be sick when she's taken one, it may enable her to eat some food. Liquids might be easier than food that requires chewing, stuff like yogurt, cereal or mashed banana. Don't be fussy about what she eats. Without food in her stomach, she will be suffering from excess stomach acid, which causes pain and nausea. Also try to distract her while she is eating and drinking rather than focusing on it, for example by snacking while watching TV. All the stuff they normally don't recommend! If you are sitting at the table, watching her trying to eat, it will make her feel more anxious. The focus shouldn't be on the food.

I really hope you manage to help her. I have been there and I still have the phobia and anxiety about food and I know just how bad it is.