Just an attack - Cant stop shaking or crying

[sweetmummy]

Just had an attack, thought it was too good to be true to have made it to this time today without one. :( My husband is out so dont have him here.

My wee girl woke up & said she'd had a dream about my grandad dying. I could feel the attack happening & started doing my breathing exercises, I managed to reassure my daughter that he was fine, fit & healthy. She went back to bed, but the minute she was out of sight my attack took hold. Ive been trying to get my breathing undercontrol with my breathing exercises, but its taking longer than anyother times! With my biggest fear being dying & the thought of losing my grandad, is scaring me the hell out of me. All my thoughts have turned to dying, im trying to think of my day with my kids & my cousins tomorrow, but it keeps coming back to dark thoughts. :(

I really hate this. Thanks for reading this if you do, i dont expect a reply, just wanted to vent. 13 years of these & Ive never gotten used to them. Everyone is different & everyone of them scare the bejesus out of me. :scared15:

[cymraig_chris]

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[Going home]

Great reply CC, and I agree very much. If you know why you feel the way you do...and with this you know that your daughter has started the chain of feelings...then you know its nothing physical, only that you've allowed yourself to feel fear about losing your grandad. Not a great feeling I know but its your imagination rather than a physical problem that has done this, and your nervous system is doing its job. If you don't add to the fears then your body will eventually calm itself. Have that cuppa and try to relax as much as you can.

Take care
Anna xxx

[sweetmummy]

Thanks for your reply CC, Ive tried to learn to let the thoughts flow, but the more i do, the more i panic. You see when i think of death, i think of not being here, not existing etc. So altho the attack itself wont hurt me, the enevitable will eventually happen, which is what scares me. So I have tried daily to deal with my thoughts & have been successful, but recently my attacks are daily occurance.

Thanks again for your reply, im off to make some warm milk, to relax me. My old councellor always said, one minute, one hour, one day. Every milestone is an acheivement. Faith in a family with a long life history is something that keeps me going. Sounds strange but its the only real thought that can get me calming.

[sweetmummy]

Thanks Anna for your reply too. Off for my mug of hot milk (have never taken to tea or coffee). x

[cymraig_chris]

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[Chips]

I totally understand what you're going through. The same fears have plagued me for ages now but things are getting better. We all have to go some time - everyone knows that - but it doesn't make it any easier to accept. Not when you are sensitive, prone to worry, negative or whatever else can lead you down the path of anxiety.
Anxiety is like a clown on a stage, the whole time you pay it attention it will keep up it's tricks. See it for what it is and it will give up.

You're not alone, take care.