Hollie
01-06-10, 17:05
Hey everyone, new to this kind of thing, don't know if it will help at all but what the hell, i've give everything else a go!!
On a downer at the mo, a big one. Driving husband up the wall. So tired, anxious, worried, stressed out. Massive feeling of guilt hanging over me because of my two small children who watch thier mummy paint her smile on every morning and who also watch her sometimes turn into "she devil" overnight. Embarrased to be feeling this way when I have no reason to be. Embarrassed to go back to my doctor, he must think I'm some kind of nutjob by now!! The painted on smile is starting to become more transparent and people are beginning to ask me whats wrong. Too ashamed to dare even speak of it really. I am on meds for this, not that I want to be. I ask myself sometimes if there really is anything wrong with me or is it just me being the self obsessed selfish idiot that I am??
I feel like i'm dying inside my own head and i'm screaming inside to get out of my own body. I look at others and wish I could be like them. Good wives, good mothers, happy people that like their life.:weep:
On a downer at the mo, a big one. Driving husband up the wall. So tired, anxious, worried, stressed out. Massive feeling of guilt hanging over me because of my two small children who watch thier mummy paint her smile on every morning and who also watch her sometimes turn into "she devil" overnight. Embarrased to be feeling this way when I have no reason to be. Embarrassed to go back to my doctor, he must think I'm some kind of nutjob by now!! The painted on smile is starting to become more transparent and people are beginning to ask me whats wrong. Too ashamed to dare even speak of it really. I am on meds for this, not that I want to be. I ask myself sometimes if there really is anything wrong with me or is it just me being the self obsessed selfish idiot that I am??
I feel like i'm dying inside my own head and i'm screaming inside to get out of my own body. I look at others and wish I could be like them. Good wives, good mothers, happy people that like their life.:weep: