Whats your secret to coping ?

[Rom]

Title says it really whats you secret to coping with GA + life problems ?

How do or do you manage to not get too down about life ?

Whats your philosophy of life ?

[Pancho Villa]

Hi Rom:
I find reading this helpful:


Sensitivity and Pain

To live requires energy and fearlessness, but we are brought up in a
pleasure-hunting human race, and pain is something to be afraid of,
to be driven away completely, to protect oneself from.

But it is the pain and pleasure
- the duality -
together that make the whole,
the wholeness of life.

The more sensitive you are and the more you live from the depth of your being,
the more vulnerable you are to life.

The more sensitive you are and the more capable of loving human beings,
the more you will be hurt; there is more sorrow, there is more pain.

Psychological hurts, pain and sorrow
accompany the sensitivity, intelligence and love.
Love and sorrow go together.

So, if there is physical or psychological pain, you live with it -
not out of despair, not out of self-pity, not out of any weakness.
You live with it because it is part of life, it is an expression of life.

- - - - Gems from Vimala Thakar

[vicki2]

Hi Rom:
I find reading this helpful:


The more sensitive you are and the more capable of loving human beings,
the more you will be hurt; there is more sorrow, there is more pain.

- - - - Gems from Vimala Thakar


that is SO true

[StoneMonkey]

Hi Rom,
Not so much a secret but the thing that puts me in the best position to cope is exercise. Its just me against me & is a good way to run off troubles & frustrations. It also keeps a lid on spare adrenaline.

My current philosophy is that everything is temporary if you stand back far enough from it. A job is still temporary even if we manage 50 years service. We are temporary & anything we own is temporary.
I hope that doesn't sound negative but it has stopped me from being concerned with material things & i have learned to let go of situations/relationships easier.
I suppose its as much as possible trying to not sweat the small stuff.

Simon.

[debs71]

The more sensitive you are and the more capable of loving human beings,
the more you will be hurt; there is more sorrow, there is more pain.



Tell me about it. I could write a book, lol.

Hi Rom.....I don't think I really have a philosophy to life. My life is actually one big mess right now but I am just grateful at the moment for every good day that I have despite the state my life is in right now. I mean good day in terms of my mental health as that has been the number one battle of late, and if you don't have your health everything else pales into insignificance, for me at least.

My coping is also inspired by my wonderful, supportive family and I know that without their support I would have given up years ago.

I also cope by hanging on to the good things I have in my life like family, friends, and the things I love like music, film, travel...just the things that give you enjoyment and happiness. They really do help to lighten the darkness.

I still do have moments where life gets me down, less frequently than I used to, but something always pulls me back up. I couldn't even say what.

It is just a case of carrying on carrying on I suppose.:shrug:xxx

[ditzygirl]

Hi hun excercise, healthy eating and although I am not religious the serenity prayer helps mex

[jude uk]

I believe in God and know my prayers are heard. I truly believe that God helps those who try and for me every step towards better health I took was a step of faith. Good eating, excercise as ditzy girl says are important. Its not just one thing that helps but many

[Rachel_123]

my secret to coping is simple:

1. accept what is happening to my body both physiologically and psychologically.

2. strive to change my pattern of though

easy peasy!

[paula lynne]

As A christian, I find prayer really helpful.
I trust that WHATEVER LIFE THROWS AT ME, I WILL COPE, DESPITE THE OUTCOME. x
Dont sweat the small stuff.
Laugh and Love.x

[Nigel H]

Some frames of reference that will enable you to have a far better ability to cope with life. I am not saying that these are necessarily true, but that those who adopt them and operate AS IF they were true obtain better results.

The law of Cause and Effect ...... C>E
--------------------------------------------
For everything that happens in the universe, there is an underlying root cause. Things don't just happen for the sake of it - at random.
So are you at EFFECT .... i.e. putting the cause of your life experiences outside of yourself ..... X happens TO me ..... Y is outside of my control ....

OR .... are you at the CAUSE side of the equation. This states that on some level you created everything that you experience in life.

I'm not saying you did it deliberately/consciously - only that if you take ownership in having created stuff - you then gain the ability to 'un-create' things also - which gives you choice and some control over the outcome. Whereas if everything is deemed as being done TO you, or outside of your control .... then why even try, because it's not your fault..... ?!!? ... and you are then powerless.

Being at CAUSE - gives you more options and the ability to change things. So is far more empowering.

Results versus Reasons
--------------------------
In life - we either get the result we wanted ... or we get reasons [or excuses] as to why we didn't get the result. These are the only 2 outcomes possible.
Those who become more successful, decide not to believe their reasons, or accept their own excuses.

Perception is Projection
--------------------------
We don't see the world as IT is .... we see it as WE are .... as a projection from inside of ourself.
Due to the way we filter the external world, in order to make sense of it internally - by the time we are aware of that external event ... it's US ..... we have changed it through our filtering processes. That internal version of the event is reality to us.
ALL you have is your perceptions - filtered through our past experience and belief systems etc.
Changing the filter mechanisms will LITERALLY change your experience of the world around you.

Focus on what it is you WANT
----------------------------------
Whenever you find your self anxious .... go inside and consider what it is you are focussing on.... it will be the outcome NOT going as you want it to!
Simply put - you cannot be anxious about something that you are imagining going as you planned!

Picture things going exactly as planned, imagine the positive outcome of your efforts.

If you find this not so easy, then there is a limiting belief you hold about whether something can go as you want.

What is it you believe about yourself that means it will not go well?

What would you have to pay attention to ....
What would you have to learn and know, for things to turn out well?

What can you do, now, to enable you to get the result you want?

Nig

[Ambers]

A very interesting thread...and lots to absorb.

I believe for me, I get angry that my fear is stopping me from living my life and having nearly lost it once, it is important that I do not let it take over - I am driven to reach goals even if I am exahusted even if the panic comes I try getting to the other end. It is not always easy.

[Nigel H]

Ambers - you could use Time Line Therapy(TM) to swiftly deal with both the Anger and the Fear, so allowing you to move forward and live your life. You can set up your life towards achieving goals, knowing that the cause(s) of your panic have been dealt with.

It a very useful method.

[ladybird64]

The million-dollar question. :)

I have a simple philosophy no clever words but it has stood me in fairly good stead because I am still here, living and breathing.

What's past is past, finished and done with.

I cannot change it but I have the opportunity to change tomorrow if I don't like it when it comes..that choice is mine and mine alone.:flowers:

[Nigel H]

ladybird ... following my earlier posting ... that is a great example of being 'at cause' in your life ! great !!

[ama]

My current philosophy is that everything is temporary if you stand back far enough from it. A job is still temporary even if we manage 50 years service. We are temporary & anything we own is temporary.

Some very good words. I completely agree. I think this way a lot when I'm in a sticky situation and it really gets me through it.

As for me and what I do...

I've stopped making decisions on fear but decisions on WHAT I WANT. Friends are going on holiday to Spain... fear would say no way, fear would be thinking... can I do it...

but...

WHAT DO I WANT to do? I want to go... so... lets go!

I also think about the feeling I get when I've achieved something and how satisfied I am, how great I feel... that pushes!

:)

[Nigel H]

That is a major strategy in dealing with Anxiety .... FOCUS ON WHAT YOU WANT ....

As I said ... if you imagine things turning out as you WANTED them to, you have nothing to be anxious about !

[Bill]

About 10 years ago I was at the point where I gave up because I had lost all hope. It was only a psychologist who really showed me the way out but even so, things still got much worse and looking back at the things I did to myself I know I was lucky to survive.

After that my attitude changed and I decided the only person who could really help me was Me so I looked at ways to make my life more bearable.

Now, I guess my philosophy is to Try and find enjoyment in each day, find things to look forward to and simply try to survive. I still get low periods though and I have alot of sad memories that still surface, and alot of thoughts that still hurt alot but I try not to dwell on them and keep moving forward.

I must admit I'm very worried about the future but I know if I dwell on these worries I'll never enjoy today and life should be spent doing what you enjoy rather than on constant worrying that only serve to make you depressed.

Hope - there is always hope unless you give up on hope first, and I've no plans to go back to the dark times because now I want to cling to hope and if I fail, then so be it because I know we can't always have all the things we desire most.:hugs:

[blue moon]

Hello.....I was a very angry person,having lost 2 sons in a war that simply was pointless.I took my anger and hatred out on people i did not know,my friends ,family everyone suffered through my behavoir,but now after many years of therapy I have found some peace.Ladybird is right the past is the past,I had to leave it where it belonged.I still have my husband and 2 children who are my life.As Edith Piaf sang No Regrets.As far as coping I am involved with world vision and that is what helps me to remember how wonderfull my life really is.
Love Petra xx:flowers:

[Nigel H]

Bill - it's great to hear that you are focussing on what you want - as that is a largely important ability to develop and practice.

... and if you wish to get rid of the negative emotions that you are still feeling, then Time Line Therapy(TM) is a swift and reliable way to do that. It gives you a tangible experience of letting go of past emotions such as Anger, Sadness, Fear, Hurt, Guilt, Anxiety and also any limiting beliefs that you hold about your ability to deal with things, or about your identity.

Just imagine letting go of that old sadness and hurt, you mention, so that those memories are seen purely for what they were and you have learnt all you needed to learn from them....... you could then remember those things without the old emotion coming up - leaving you much happier now.

:)