totally stressed with everything :(

[sassy]

Hi, i haven't been on since Jan this year, but today i feel all the anxiety coming back with a vengeance.
Im a single mum of 5, which is stressful enough-i have a huge fear of thunder and of course its warm now and a storms due tomorrow night so already im in a complete state. I have one close friend..i say close but she doesn't know what a state i get in so i really have no one i can talk to about this fear.
Im reading too much of this weeks news..the awful shootings, mother and child that were murdered etc.. Im remembering how the worlds supposed to end in 2012..omg its everything and i feel half like crying, half like screaming and half like running.
I wish i could stop feeling so anxious and scared of living..ive been battling this feeling for so many years and just when i think im OK..ive won-it all floods back and i have to fight it all again. On top of all this, i loathe being single and not having anyone to talk to or to tell me im going to be OK. I really feel so lonely tonight.
Sorry for rant but really needed to be somewhere where someone understood (i hope).
x

[phil06]

I can relate to how you feel. I've been single three years and is one of my big stressors in life.

Sometimes it's best not to watch the news too much too. :)

[AustralianInKenya]

Hi,

I really sympathize with you!

But, and I apologize if I sound conceited, just remember that other people are going through similar issues, and others still are suffering in much worse situations (I work in the slums of Kenya). From this, take strength from those who are finding ways to cope and know that you too will find your own ways and you will learn how to manage - by believing this, you take away the stress of "how will I learn to cope" - you will - it will just take time.

Another important thing to remember is to make sure you take a few moments (even if it is the last few before you fall asleep) to just think about all the good things you have done and achieved and be proud of yourself. Naturally, just the simple fact that you are a mother of five kids and are the one they trust and look up to, is an amazing feat and despite all the other issues this brings, you should be very proud of your job in raising your kids!

Look after yourself and take care!

[sassy]

Thank you for your replies.

Im always reminding myself that there are so so many worse off then me..my gosh even i know that my problems are nothing compared to many-MOST days im fine..but last night was one of those nights when reality hits you full in the face and you take a look at yourself and see how truly unhappy you are. Having a fear of thunder (or anything), is really very hard for anyone to understand unless you've been there. It often feels like the end of the world to me, and once or twice ive even wished myself dead rather than sit through a storm. That alone makes you feel worthless and pathetic...as you know that its such a stupid thing to fear.
I dont come on here everyday..perhaps once in a few months or less when i really feel extremely anxious, as here there are many in the same boat and i dont feel like a freak.
If it was so easy as to tell myself there are others worse off..then id be over this by now. Perhaps i am selfish in my whinging and complaining, but i have no one else to confide in and i cant switch my anxiety and fears off like a light switch.

[shell24]

Hi Sassy, I completely agree. Although its horrible that their are people worse off then us it still doesnt take away any of my anxiety........IF ONLY it was that easy then this forum wouldnt even exist! Sometimes when i read through this forum i see that my anxiety is nothing compared to some.....such as agraphobia (least i can leave the house) but that doesnt help when i leave the house and have a massive panic attack. I can imagine the fear of thunder even though i dont suffer with it. The reason maybe i can understand on some level is the waiting for it to come. I hate flying and although mainly its my choice to go on holiday and fly......waiting for the flight is the worst. I would say you are anticipating it all the time. I dont know how to comfort you only by saying that you are not the only one and that if you ever need to chat you will find solice in this forum. I have olnly been on a few days and i find it helpful in venting

[sassy]

Thank you Shell xx Yes i too can leave the house thank god, but have suffered countless panic attacks in previous years and like flying and thunder etc you end up dreading everything and even the simplest of things become a hurdle. For years i wouldnt stand in a queue at any shop for fear of passing out. Flying is a no no..coaches journeys, trains..god on and on it goes. Sadly my children-mainly my eldest see's my fears. Wasps..urgh lol i actually dread my weekend away in july due to wasps! I wish i could slap myself round the face and get a grip!!! My fears are endless and some have been triggered by past events. Most days im ok..this weekend i seem to have hit a new low. Im sorry you also suffer and thanks for your understanding..yes typing it down does seems to help as i tell no one i know any of this xxx