Thought i was doing so well.....how i was wrong!!!!

[shell24]

Hi all,

So arrived at work yesterday evening. I am a staff nurse and was working night shifts. It was my last shift so was feeling exhausted. I was sitting in the staff room waiting for handover to begin when i started to feel tingly and light headed. I ended up going outside with my manager who was reassuring me. I told her i knew it was a panic attack and she was really good about it. This was the first panic attack i have had where i didnt feel my heart jumping out of my chest. My ward manager was trying to get me to take some diazepam but i wouldnt take it......I felt i needed to deal with it head on and when it finished i wanted to know i had dealt with it rather then a tablet. I really dont know what to put it down to.....the panic attack but i was exhausted and i am thinking that didnt help. In the end i sat down and convinced myself i was not dying and that i would be okay. My boyfriend collected me and brought me home and i slept right through the night. I am overwhelmed now with guilt for leaving the ward short staffed and so embarrased that my colleagues saw my vunerabililty. Ive just texed mt manager to apologise but she hasnt replied and now im starting to worry about that. Oh will it ever end???

[bellalew]

hi shell,dont feel guilty,no one can say when a panic attack will pop up,it wasnt your fault.your manager was probably busy when you txt im sure she will reply.one cant concentrate when panic hits and id say you did the right thing in going home. you handled it very well hun, for all you would have felt much worse than you showed.i bet if you asked the staff there,one at least will have experienced the same as you,so stop worrying about what others are thinking and concentrate on feeling better.take care.ellen.xx:hugs:

[sassy]

Hi again x
I find with my panic attacks, they leave me exhausted! Im also a worrier of what people think..especially if they don't reply to a text-i always think ive upset them! 9 times out of 10 i haven't though..and im sure you haven't upset your manager either :) I also tend to rush around and do alot and when i finally sit down-i will often start to get panicky..so this could well be the case for you. I expect your body began to relax, and what with your being over tired etc it set an attack off. You sound like you dealt with it brilliantly! i did read somewhere once that other than trying to prevent an attack or stop one..its often best to ride it out. Easier said than done, but you did it!
Im sure you'll get a reply from your manager soon and even if you dont..i highly doubt she bears any grudge xxx

[andrew]

Hi Shell24,

Well done for working your way through the panic attack. It ends when you continue to win that internal battle that you will be ok. Try not to beat yourself up about what happened, it was how it was, you cant change the past. If it happens again you'll be better able to cope, maybe you could even try and stay at work afterwards.

Anyway hope your feeling better today .. take care