cancer phobia

[constantworrier418]

I seem to be going from one cancer worry to another, over the last few days I've gone from worrying there is a cancerous lump in my breast, then cancerous moles on my face and then back to breast cancer and on it goes. I feel exhausted all the time, I wake up and thinking what was I worrying about before I went to bed and so it continues.

Just when I think i'm coping I came across an article half an hour ago about someone who died of skin cancer and the panic I'm experiencing at this moment is making me shake and if I wasn't writing this now I would be googling skin cancer and no doubt making myself feel worse than i already do.

I have been lucky enough to have counselling and I've been on anti depressants but what makes me feel worse is that despite all this treatment I have recieved my fears over my health are still just as menacing as they have ever been and I'm starting to think I will never live without this fear. I find myself getting quite upset about dying young and leaving my young son and unborn child without a mother and I'm just so scared that I'm missing a growing tumour that if discovered now could be treatable. I'm also finding that I can check my breasts for lumps but I don't believe I've checked them correctly so I continue to check and check and I can check in excess of 20 times but feel no real relief and still believe that something is growing.

I'm so happy with my life but I fear that something such as cancer will ruin it and ruin my children's lives - will this ever change?

[worriedmummy]

Hi, I have suffered with OCD and depression and now since becoming a mummy I feel just like you, I owrry im going to die young all the time, leave my son without a mummy. I worry about cancer continually. Its awful I know x

[nomorepanic]

Cancer can be treated nowadays and cured so it is not such a death sentence that it used to be.

You can do a lot to reduce the risks though with such things as diet, exercise, not smoking, limiting alcohol etc etc.

[constantworrier418]

i have to say that I'm so glad to have found this site as its such a comfort to know I'm not the only one worrying about health - in particular cancer.

[bexy1970]

this morning i woke up thinking(i wonder if ne one else goes to bed thinking they had cancer of something? and woke up thinking wot was i worrying about last night?) and the whole cycle begins again, i know its sooo draining and takes the enjoment of life!!! i too have undetected throat, skin, mouth cancer!! daft arent we eh??? so your definately not alone it does help knowing that so many people have the same thing and it is just HEALTH ANXIETY!! we need to remind ourselves of this even tho its hard, i too am on meds wish theyd stop our daft minds working overtime!! i drive my family nuts!!! xx

[zippy]

Yea me to i have convinced myself i have lung cancer because i am tired, loose bowels, nausea, back pain, breathlesness, sweating and bringing phlegm up. I am having a chest x ray tomorrow so i guess i will see. My partner says people that have been told they have something dont carry on like me.:weep:

[StoneMonkey]

Hi Constantworrier,
I dont know if this will help but i wanted to tell you a different skin cancer story to cancel out the sad one that upset you.

I am 45, had it 2 years ago and I am absolutely fine.
They just cut the suspect bit out of my upper chest under local and monitored the scar for two years.

Thats it. No spreading, no chemo, no drugs and the scar looks kinda funky!
I have all sorts of freckles, marks and a few moles all of which are perfectly normal and were of no interest to the specialists.

There are very good leaflets available both on being sensible in the sun (prevention) and on detection (early signs to look for). They might help to put your mind at rest and offer sun advice to help look after your little un's.
I now wear a big floppy hat and long sleeved tops but im at that age anyway.

I am sure your fears are very strong but please try not to fuel them.
Simon.

[Kev1979]

me too, i had IBS for like two years and several trips to docs they kept reassuring me its just IBS linked to Anxiety and i always thought was some kind of cancer, i found a little lump on neck 3 weeks ago been to docs twice and hospital walk in centre they said its just a lymph gland but i still cant get it out of my head and always think its something very bad, they said its nothing to worry about but they dont understand with Health Anxiety sometimes we cant accept that :(

[jojo2316]

hello..... poor you, i know just what you are feeling. In fact, i could have written that post myself. I worry so much about getting cancer and leaving my young children. I check constantly and can't switch off from it. If I check and find something 'suspicious' i get consumed by the most awful hideous panic and if i check and find nothing I think I haven't checked properly and check again five minutes later. The focus of my fear changes but breast cancer (and skin cancer, actually) are biggies for me. And I (almost!!) smiled when I read about how you wake up and think about what your current worry is - I do that! My first thought is always: do I have a cancer scare hanging over me at the moment? Then this sinking feeling: Oh yes, I had a nose bleed yesterday, I might have nose cancer (for example). It's so exhausting and I so hope you - and i - can get over it...... because it really is a waste of a wonderful life!xx

[constantworrier418]

that's the irony - by spending all this time worrying about our health we could be enjoying what could be a long and healthy life but when your consumed by missing something like a tumour you just cannot take the chance that all will be well.

For me the best solution was being on a anti depressant called venaflaxin as it really calmed down my anxiety but due to falling pregnant I had to come off this medication but I've made my mind up to go and see my GP asap as I think my HA is spiralling out of control and I just don't want to feel this anxious anymore.

It's great to see others have the same worries as me as it doesn't make me feel as isolated as i did and if like me you've exhausted family and friend through constant reasurrance, being able to discuss your worries is important as it was starting to feel that I was keeping everything in and that doesn't help either x

[jojo2316]

so did you find anti depressants helped then? I went on citalopram briefly - and I think it was starting to help but then I fell pregnant too. I've had the baby now, and I'm thinking of going back on something, although I am still breastfeeding. I'd love to hear more about how they helped...... did the worries disapear or lessen or were you able to keep them in perspective, or what?xx

[constantworrier418]

Hi, I do think the anti depressants helped. In the 18 months I was on venaflaxin my visits to the dr's were virtually zero and I found that I could rationilize any worries that came up. I think as well I just didn't worry that much - almost a different me, I might see a mole on my arm for example and prior to the drugs I would panic and make a dr's app but when I was on the venaflaxin I would think at most I'll measure it, monitor it and if need be go to dr's BUT i would them forget about it and carry on with the mundane life stuff like housework. I have to say that I was on prozac prior to venaflaxin and it did not help at all because I think its more for people that are depressed whereas with health anxiety we're anxious and need something to calm us which is what I believe venaflaxin did for me.

I was also lucky enough to have counselling through my gp surgery which although was fairly basic - in that you worked through a work book on how to change your thought patterns I think this too also helped. The book I used is available through amazon and is only £2.99 - and its not a thick book to read either, its called "an introduction to overcoming health anxiety" by charles young and brenda hogan, if you haven't got this already then its really worth a look as even now when I'm at my worst I force myself to get the book out and do some of the basic exercises such as looking at other explanations for sypmtons your experiencing and if nothing else it stops me going on google which is fatal when I'm looking for reassurrence for HA.

I have to say that I'm pretty sure that once I have delivered my baby I will probably go back on them as I want to enjoy my new baby, when I had my son five years ago I was so consumed with HA that I avoided doing things and was a nervous wreck when people touched him - although I feel a bit of a failure for resorted to drugs I am looking at how they benefited my quality of life. I'm also thinking that being pregnant and having a new born makes me worse so hopefully once my body is back to normal and my baby is a bit older I may be better anyway. Until then though I will if it's safe to do so take the venaflaxin.

Feel free to ask anymore questions if i haven't covered enough - its a comfort to talk about this stuff x

[StressedRunner]

Thanks ConstantWorrier - I have been referred for CBT (the standard counselling that I was advised to try is not really helping) but it is good to know that anti-depressants can work really well where the other things have not worked. Btw, how is that a failure? Taking a paractamol for a headache is not 'failing' so i don't believe taking drugs to help this dreadful HA we all suffer with is either! x

[constantworrier418]

no you are right, its not a failure - I just suppose in an ideal world I could cope without them but like the GP said its like a crutch in your hour of need. I think I worry more about what other people think and I really shouldn't give a damn!

xx