Seeking more help

[Self Doubt]

For 2 years now I have been seeing a Life Coach for a variety of reasons - OCD, Anxiety disorder and Depression. Over the last 2 years she has given me some great advice and reading material to help me through my day to day life and just a fellow human being to talk to about my problems. However two sessions ago I first started talking about my intrusive thoughts for the first time. I have some horrible disgusting intrusive thoughts and when I told her about them she was shocked I was having them. When she referred to them she called them "fantasies" but I wouldn't use that world to describe intrusive thoughts. I got the impression she thought I was enjoying them. she also told me to wear a rubber band around my wrist and flick it whenever I had them. I read that this didn't work and was merely a form of suppression which is not what you would want to aim for.

Is a Life coach anything like a Psychologist or Psychiatrist? It seems she has very little experience with intrusive thoughts and I feel uncomfortable talking about them with her whereas everything else we have talked about to date has been rather comfortable. Is it worth thinking about seeking help from a Psychologist or Psychiatrist?

I appreciate everything my Life Coach has done for me and she really is a wonderful person and I feel as if I am betraying her.

[Bill]

I can't really comment on life coaches as I'm not 100% sure about their role and techniques but I've always thought of them as people who show you better ways to lead your life.

My own feeling is that their are specialists in different fields so I can't see how she would have any objection in you seeing a psychologist or better still a therapist who specialises in anxiety symptoms.

Intrusive thoughts are just like nightmares while we're awake because especially when we're feeling very stressed, our minds will subconsciously bring our worst fears to the foreground. They keep coming back because they frighten us so much and the more we try to suppress them, the more tensed up and stressed we become which is why they keep being intrusive and keep coming back to bully us because they know they frighten us.

I feel the best way to deal with intrusive thoughts is to treat them like any other random thoughts we have every day by "letting them go" when they appear. If you can remind yourself they are just your worst fears surfacing and so are being created by your anxiety of them, you can then rationalise why you're thinking them when you don't want to.

When we're feeling stressed, we become anxious and our anxiety will then subconsciously search for the fears that frighten us most to then bring them to the surface. If you can treat them as just nightmares while you're awake, ignore them and just carry on what you're doing, they won't then impact on your life as much. That's not to say they'll stop surfacing because our minds will always find something to worry about but they won't then hinder you and stop you doing what you want to do. Remember, they are just thoughts based on fears created by stress and anxiety.

When I get intrusive thoughts I just try to ignore them and carry on what I'm doing. They soon go and I then forget what my anxiety created to try to annoy me.

I honestly feel that you need someone who understands anxiety to help you tackle your issues but having a team specialising in different fields covering all the angles that affect us can only be beneficial.:)

[Dahlia]

A Life Coach is not like a psychologist or psychiatrist. My understanding is that you don't need any specific qualifications to be a Life Coach, although it seems quite a few use NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming). Psychologists have at least a masters degree in psychology, and psychiatrists are doctors who have specialised in mental health. It's great that the life coach has helped you, and that's what's important. However, perhaps you need to see someone with a more specialist knowledge of anxiety?

[NatalieK]

Hey there! I think that your life coach is well out of her depth and has not dealt with this well. I too get intrusive thoughts sometimes and put them down to a result of abuse I have suffered in that past, or some of the sad things we read in the media and will not allow them to impact on me. They can be alarming and highly innaproprate. I do not let them have the space in my head and dismiss them asap.... A bit like a bizarre dream you have after watching a movie or a conversation with a friend, not intentional but a result of something else. However under no circumstances do I consider these thoughts to be fantasies. I do not ask for them and I do not indulge them. I think you need to see a professional psychologist to discuss these if you feel it is neccesary. I honestly think your life coach is not the person to help you here and has not really acted in your best interests. She should refer you on rather than trying to deal with something that is clearly not in her remit. If a therapist had treated me in this way I would not be going back.... in fact I think I would be complaining! If you have anxiety then making you feel this is your fault is very, very wrong. Hope this helps!

[NatalieK]

BTW I am a social work student and have been working with teenagers in social care for 10 years. Part of my course is about studying therapies so I have a bit of knowledge. A professional needs a qualification.....