Terrified of going back to work tomorrow

[SarahG]

I was signed off work 8-10 weeks ago with General Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder and Agoraphobia. I am due to go back to work tomorrow on a phased return (first week afternoons only as I am better in the afternoon than morning) and had hugely improved over the time I had off work. I don't know if it's the trepidation of going back but I had a massive panic attack on Friday night and have been in a state of constant anxiety since.

Why is it that the waiting for these events is worse than the actual event? If I could go into the school now, I would! I just need to get it over with and hopefully the anx will subside. However, today, I am terrified of what "could" happen... what if I have another panic attack at work? what if I can't cope with the work? what if I let people see me getting anxious and panicky and they think I'm not up to my job? etc. etc. etc. I am walking around like a zombie today and am gradually chipping away at any self confidence I had started to get about being able to cope with life and my job.

Please help - I need some support today!

[jothenurse]

I went back to work last week just in the mornings - I do just the mornings next week also, then I will be back full-time.
I think the anticipation anxiety is hard because you have time to do all your what if's. I went in on the weekend and did a couple of hours of work when I knew not a lot of the other managers would be there. It is scary, and I am nervous about going back tomorrow. I also worry about what if I have a panic attack. I also worry about how I will do when I have to be there full-time. Just try to keep busy and distract yourself while you are waiting to go back to work. Then at work try to stay busy. I know how hard that is because I am anxious, too.

[Typer]

I understand Sarah. I think the fear of it is possibly worse than just doing it. Our thoughts are so invasive and scary as we cant help but imagine having a panic attack somewhere outside, in work or anywhere which is not our safe place. Its so hard to get our minds to accept what will be, will be and whatever it is, we have no choice but to handle it.

I hope you manage it and that you have a good day.

[StoneMonkey]

Hi SarahG,

Wishing you well for tomorrow.
I have had the same pattern, wretched in the morning and better by evening.
Its like you have spent all day climbing a mountain and fall asleep at the top.
When you wake you are back at the bottom and have to do it all again.
Very rarely has anyone noticed that I was showing any signs of distress externally.
There are photos taken from when I know i was really struggling yet from the outside I even look happy.
Hope it goes well.
Simon.

[Loraine]

Hi sarah, I know just how you feel, i should have gone back to work monday but got into such a state and hour before, I couldnt go and the same happened today and I havn't slept hardley the last 2 night worrying, I feel such a fool because i told work that i felt alot better and had been signed back now im worrying that they think im lying about it. Iv'e had to make an appointment to see the doctor again thursday, im so angry with myself:mad:

[barbn]

Wow - I could have written all of these posts - I had to struggle this morning to drag myself into work. And now that I am here, I am having a hard time focusing - the truth is by the time I am ready to go home, the day actually wasn't that bad - it is just the before hand stuff and then trying to calm down all morning, afternoon is okay and before I know it I am home again. Wouldn't it be nice to wake up totally positive and not worried about anything??

[daydreamer]

Hi Sarah,

how did your return to work go? I hope it went well and that your feeling a bit more positive now? please let us know! take care x