wendy10
06-06-10, 12:54
Hi,
Not really sure which board to put this under or if i'm even in the right site. My mum has agoraphobia, ocd, panic attacks etc. She was housebound for many years and now only goes out locally. I am in my 30s still at home with my parents and I also have OCD. As you can imagine this causes a lot of tension. Lately though we have been having a lot of problems because my uncle cares for my nan who is in her 80s with his g/f. My nan has been getting worse, in and out of hospital and is currently in respite. She is too much for him to handle because he is an alcoholic and his g/f is leaving him any day. He wants my nan to come home because they are in rented accomodation and if she doesn't he will be kicked out. My mum is stuck in the middle and doesn't know what to do. She's tried to get him help, her siblings are no help (one lives away the other is also an alcoholic as well). She feels guilty because she thinks she should be doing more, my siblings think she should be doing more but living with her I know she can't cope with her own problems let alone someone else's. My mum is having constant panic attacks, not sleeping properly, not eating. We do nothing but argue because I have told her to wash her hands of my uncle, it's his problem. I am struggling to cope with how my mum is because I have my own problems. She relies on me heavily, I stay with her when my dad has to go out, because of my OCD I don't work so we are together more or less 24/7. My siblings are no help, they tell her to get a life, stop think about herself, that she is self centred. So I have to deal with the fall out when she cries because of what they say. My mum isn't talking to my uncle because he came banging on the door when he was drunk and I told him to go away and leave us alone. So everything my mum hears about him is secondhand from my siblings (I won't talk to him either). My siblings think he should have help, I think he should have help but my mum isn't the one to provide it. me and my mum have just fallen out again because of him, she said everyone makes her feel gulity because she should be helping him. I am at the end of my tether with it all, I have told her I don't want to hear about any of it. The thing is though because we live together I can see and feel her anxiety and I just end up shouting at her because it makes me so angry to see what she is doing to herself, she is ill, she looks terrible, she has high blood pressure and should be talking pills but because of her OCD she won't. I know I shouldn't get angry with her but I can't help it, I can't help her, I don't know how. I don't know what I should do for the best.
Not really sure which board to put this under or if i'm even in the right site. My mum has agoraphobia, ocd, panic attacks etc. She was housebound for many years and now only goes out locally. I am in my 30s still at home with my parents and I also have OCD. As you can imagine this causes a lot of tension. Lately though we have been having a lot of problems because my uncle cares for my nan who is in her 80s with his g/f. My nan has been getting worse, in and out of hospital and is currently in respite. She is too much for him to handle because he is an alcoholic and his g/f is leaving him any day. He wants my nan to come home because they are in rented accomodation and if she doesn't he will be kicked out. My mum is stuck in the middle and doesn't know what to do. She's tried to get him help, her siblings are no help (one lives away the other is also an alcoholic as well). She feels guilty because she thinks she should be doing more, my siblings think she should be doing more but living with her I know she can't cope with her own problems let alone someone else's. My mum is having constant panic attacks, not sleeping properly, not eating. We do nothing but argue because I have told her to wash her hands of my uncle, it's his problem. I am struggling to cope with how my mum is because I have my own problems. She relies on me heavily, I stay with her when my dad has to go out, because of my OCD I don't work so we are together more or less 24/7. My siblings are no help, they tell her to get a life, stop think about herself, that she is self centred. So I have to deal with the fall out when she cries because of what they say. My mum isn't talking to my uncle because he came banging on the door when he was drunk and I told him to go away and leave us alone. So everything my mum hears about him is secondhand from my siblings (I won't talk to him either). My siblings think he should have help, I think he should have help but my mum isn't the one to provide it. me and my mum have just fallen out again because of him, she said everyone makes her feel gulity because she should be helping him. I am at the end of my tether with it all, I have told her I don't want to hear about any of it. The thing is though because we live together I can see and feel her anxiety and I just end up shouting at her because it makes me so angry to see what she is doing to herself, she is ill, she looks terrible, she has high blood pressure and should be talking pills but because of her OCD she won't. I know I shouldn't get angry with her but I can't help it, I can't help her, I don't know how. I don't know what I should do for the best.