Pdubya86
06-06-10, 17:01
I'm annoyed as I write this. Annoyed that this bizarre feeling is still lingering around.
Anyway...I was just curious to know how others describe their experiences with depersonalisation?
I can understand why this horrid feeling comes about - after too much introspection during a period of anxiety etc etc, but I'm still convinced there is something wrong with me, like a form of epilepsy of something.
This is what I have been feeling for the past few months now...
-Too much existential thinking...freaking out about being alive, here and now.
-Feeling like my body is hollow or empty.
-Feeling 'light' or 'floaty'...often accompanied with the overwhelming urge to hold on to something and then freaking out that you cant escape from this feeling or from yourself!
-An awkward, weird energy all over my body, even my face...as if my skin feels ten times too big for my body.
-Arms feel disconnected (this is the worse part). I could be putting gel on my hair or something and it will just feel really strange and uncomfortable, like i'm not doing it (?)
-Feeling so small in this huge world.
-People look weird when I start to think too much.
-The feeling of not being able to escape (which can bring on panic!)
-Feeling my brain isnt properly processing what I am looking at. Like its only partially working.
It feels very real and not just something in my mind.
I cant decide whether the physical or mental feelings are worst.
Its so difficult to articulate.
Ive had an MRI now which was 'normal' apparently so I guess that rules a tumor out.
That leads me to think of other reasons. For a few years Ive what feels like a hard swollen gland under my ear and behind my jaw. Maybe this is pressing on a major artery supplying blood to my brain...so my brain isn't getting the bloody supply it should be...therefore isn't functioning correctly...therefore this weird physical disconnected feeling? SEE, what nonsense!
The worst part if, if this is anxiety, then its annoying to know I'm wasting precious months of my life in a vicious circle that ultimately is a complete farce! >:(
Anyway...I was just curious to know how others describe their experiences with depersonalisation?
I can understand why this horrid feeling comes about - after too much introspection during a period of anxiety etc etc, but I'm still convinced there is something wrong with me, like a form of epilepsy of something.
This is what I have been feeling for the past few months now...
-Too much existential thinking...freaking out about being alive, here and now.
-Feeling like my body is hollow or empty.
-Feeling 'light' or 'floaty'...often accompanied with the overwhelming urge to hold on to something and then freaking out that you cant escape from this feeling or from yourself!
-An awkward, weird energy all over my body, even my face...as if my skin feels ten times too big for my body.
-Arms feel disconnected (this is the worse part). I could be putting gel on my hair or something and it will just feel really strange and uncomfortable, like i'm not doing it (?)
-Feeling so small in this huge world.
-People look weird when I start to think too much.
-The feeling of not being able to escape (which can bring on panic!)
-Feeling my brain isnt properly processing what I am looking at. Like its only partially working.
It feels very real and not just something in my mind.
I cant decide whether the physical or mental feelings are worst.
Its so difficult to articulate.
Ive had an MRI now which was 'normal' apparently so I guess that rules a tumor out.
That leads me to think of other reasons. For a few years Ive what feels like a hard swollen gland under my ear and behind my jaw. Maybe this is pressing on a major artery supplying blood to my brain...so my brain isn't getting the bloody supply it should be...therefore isn't functioning correctly...therefore this weird physical disconnected feeling? SEE, what nonsense!
The worst part if, if this is anxiety, then its annoying to know I'm wasting precious months of my life in a vicious circle that ultimately is a complete farce! >:(