down down down

[spanky]

well talk about hitting rock bottom. Youll have to excuse me. My grandad died a few weeks ago, and i was ok bit sad but i was dealing with it. But since his funeral and emptying his house i have felt so low. I know this is normal i suppose i am on here cause i have no one to talk to and dont want to open up to people i know as they all have stupid problems they would rather me deal with.
Emptying grandads house was the hardest thing ever had to do. Everything he made himself as he was a craftsman and we just sat there and smashed the lot up. The chair he always sat in, the sofa he died on, the memories we spent at the house....all gone apart from up in my head and heart.i feel guilty that his stuff is gone although it had to be doene, no one will change that. Saying goodbye is the hardest thing. Its scary to think wat happens to you when u die and knowin my grandad was scared of dying makes it worse. He was a proud man. please dont tell me to give it time i know what to do and stuff i just need to get it out my head. I loved my grandad. I want to call him up and tell him its all ok.

[tammyg]

Hi

It is so hard to deal with a death. A few things you said in your post I could really relate to. My Gran died in August and I remember going to her house and cleaning it out. My cousin said how sad it was, her whole life just being thrown away.

At the time I was so sad I thought I would never get over it. But like you say, you have your memories. On my Gran's funeral flowers I found this short rhyme and everyone said how simple but lovely it was:
Death is a heartache no-one can heal,
Love is a memory no-one can steal.
And it is so true. You just need to give yourself some time, things are still too raw at the moment to see past it. I know it is easy for me to say this now, and it certainly wasn't easy when it was happening to me so I'm sending you a big hug.

If you feel like speaking to him, why not do it? There have been many times in the last few months when I have visited her grave and just talked. I know it sounds completely mad (and maybe I am, certainly got some funny looks) but it made me feel better. I don't really belive she could hear me but somehow it helps to just get it all out of your head.

Take care.



Tammy x

[Keitharcher]

Hi

I can understand how you feel, however, it doesnt matter that you have got rid og things, thats all they are in the end, just things. You still have your grandad, he lives through you, your memories, all the good times, probably his anecdotes and little sayings as well that made him YOUR grandfather. You have what no one can take away from you the memories of YOUR grandfather. I know you didnt want to hear that time is a great healer, but it is, over the next few years you will find yoursaelf dwelling on the good things about your grandfather and thinking less about the pain of him dying. When it gets bad just look into your memories and remeber the good times, raise a glass to him remember him the way he would want to be remembered

Keith

[nomorepanic]

Spanky

I won't tell you that it gets easier in time but I will say that I can understand how you feel as I had to help clear my dad's things out and it was horrid.

Just to let you know that I am thinking of you.

Nicola