Telling my 15 year old the full story??

[Ronster]

Hi everyone,

Just wondering where everyone is on telling their children the full story of their conditions. So far I have told my 15 year old the minimum, told him I wasn't sleeping well therefore missing a bit of work and sometimes feel sad and not myself because of being tired.
Did not tell him the full story of major deppression, anxiety meds and no cure in site. is this a good idea to share it all, He's a very sensitive boy and loves his father very much I would not want him to worry about me nore would not want him to feel the same way as I. I also feel I need to be honest to him as I always heve been when of course I could.

Thanks Ron

[Raindog]

Hi Ronster,
I always appreciated my parents being honest with me at that age and treating me a bit more like an adult. You might be surprised at the support he can offer and you won't feel so uptight about whether to tell him.

I think in the long run he'd be happier knowing, at least you can educate him a little in mental health matters, it might be something he'd be interested in and might decide to work in that field when he gets older, who knows.

Trust you son, he may be stronger than you think, and it's a sign of respect that you feel you can tell him. Yes, he may find it difficult to get his head around, but I think it will help him in the long term.

Better days Ronster.

[BubbleBonce]

Your son probably can see there's something not right. I think he's old enough to know the truth and learn more. He might surprise you.

[sarah jayne]

Ive got the same problem but my oldest is only 10. She knows im ill but im not sure whether to go into more detail. I think your son is old enough to understand x

[jaded jean]

Its an education in itself. If you think he is old enough well, not old enough but emtionally ready to take this on board then yes. If the family can understand how you are feeling and why then yes tell him , both of you will be thankfull for it. And you might even recover a little bit more.And your boy will feel more adult as he will be more involved.Hope all goes well:)
Jean

[Veronica H]

I think at 15 he is probably capable of understanding the basics of this illness and it would help if he was more informed, as then he will at least know what is going on with you. You say he is a sensitive boy and it is therefore important that he doesnot feel that he has to carry any of this load, but just to be aware that Dad is recovering from an illness. I have an 18yr old, trust me they are not fully formed adults at that age. Tell him for his own reassurance and not your own. :bighug1:This will get better.

Veronicax

[Ronster]

Hi everyone,

I thank you all for taking the time to write back. All the opinions were helpful. Last night I decided to explain to him in semi-adult/teenage form if that makes any sense. I told him a bit of my mother's history with sadness and anxiety. He know's I have been experiencing a lot of sleepless nights and like him when he went through puberty he experienced some sadness and cried for unknown reason's. At the time I went on line and printed off the effects of puberty for him to read, when he read this stuff he felt quite relieved to know his symtons were normal. So, I told him what I am going through is somewhat similar along with added anxiety and that I hope for it to pass sometime soon. He told me he didn't notice much change in my personality but wondered if I would maybe loose my job a couple of times from missing so much work. I assured that would not be the case that work knew what was going on and that I have the support of my superiors.
So I communicated it but with kid gloves, feel better that he knows. Maybe some day I will explain the full meal deal, at this point I don't want his 15 year old mind to be bothered or perhaps effected dramatically though he now has an understanding of sorts.

Thanks again everyone!

[BubbleBonce]

Sounds very sensible Ron. You see kids do understand more than we think. He was worried about your work and you've now been able to put his mind to rest. hopefully everyone feels a bit better for having it more out inthe open. I am pleased for both of you.

Bubble

[ElizabethJane]

Dear Ronster I think that you should do what is right for you and your son. You have chosen to tell him. My son is twelve and has lived with my depression and anxiety since he was a young baby. If I need to tell him the whole story including hospital admissions then I will in the future not now. He knows that I take a handful of tablets at night to keep well but that is all. If he asked me outright then I would tell him. My parents were always very secretive about illlness and terminal illness and people dying. It led to a very stifling enviroment and me listening in on phone calls and reading letters even years down the line. If you can keep it out in the open but in saying that do what feels right for you.

[Ronster]

Dear Bubble, Thanks again for checking in. My boy and I are both feeling better about the situation and yes they are pretty bright aren't they. Also thanks to everyone else for taking the time for giving me their views.

Dear Elizabeth, I'm truly sorry to hear you have been dealing with this illness for so long. I can totaly relate as I too have been at this for 20 years on and off. The only difference for me this time is that it's at it's very worse.The past now feels like it was a cake walk while this time it's pure hell. I think your makiing the right choice by not telling you 12 year old boy what's going on. I would have never told my boy at that age. Difference for is my boy is no longer a boy he's done the pubery thing, talks like a man and has facial hair. It was time to tell him part of the story. Someday when I'm hopefully well i'll tell him the rest of the story.

Take care everyone we'll write again, I'm sure!

Fighting for Peace & Freedom in the mind.

Ron

[ElizabethJane]

My boy has finished puberty too but at six foot and twelve it does not make him a man. All the best and I hope you feel better soon.