Now my friend knows

[Self Doubt]

So I've posted a few threads here on the forum about intrusive thoughts and found an a lot of support from people going through the same situation. Recently my friend (who is currently living with me until she finds a house to move into) saw me posting on these forums and later went on to read my threads on her own computer after I asked her not too. So now she knows the whole story of my intrusive thoughts when I had decided I was going to keep it only between the users on this forum and myself. So later on after she had read through some of the stuff that goes on through my mind I thought I would try and properly explain what intrusive thoughts are. After I did I felt that I was alright with her know about this aspect of my life. One of the posts she read was about fears of hurting people and animals. she has a young cat and now I keep getting the impression she doesn't trust me around her cat and is wondering what it is I am thinking. That maybe she believes I'm going to do some thing awful. I might just be being paranoid but I feel like she is keeping an eye on me now.

We go for a long walk everyday and I was thinking tomorrow while we were out I would talk about my paranoia but I don't really know If ill just be making things worse. I'm not sure what I should do.

[BunnyMazonas]

I think you definitely need to speak to her. Not just to reassure her that she has no need to worry, but also to make it clear that what she did - reading your posts after you asked her not to - is a violation of trust.

I know many of us feel able to talk freely on here because we are all unknown to each other, and all in similar situations. I am sure your friend would have read your posts only out of concern for a friend and wanting to help, but for people in situations like this trust is a very important issue.

I would recommend explaining to her that you have an anxiety/depression/panic disorder (or however you personally define it),and that you go on here to talk about the way that affects you with like minded people. People who do not have these issues may find it hard to understand, but it is going to be better for you to talk to her out in the open now, rather than continuing to worry. You will always imagine far worse scenarios than will actually happen, remember that.

Good luck!

[JaneC]

Hi Self Doubt, I'm really sorry this has happened, I think it's horrible that you are in this situation and would be really upset if it had happened to me. I definitely regard NMP as a place where I can say what I feel without having to worry about what my family and friends might think about it.

I also think you need to talk to your friend - and remember to make the point that just because you have these thoughts, it doesn't mean you are going to act on them. Perhaps she needs to do some reading up on what they are.

Best of luck from me too :hugs:

[hallam11]

Hello....

Firstly I am sorry that you also suffer from intrusive thoughts....I know it can be hell and its truly awful to live through. I agree with the above post of Bunny...I think you may need to speak to her and perhaps get some literature about it so she can understand just what intrusive thoughts are.
I also know that it must feel upsetting to think that she does not trust you and perhaps a little talk is needed.

Laura xxxx

[Self Doubt]

Thank you all for the replies. I'm going to feel so uncomfortable talking about it but I guess it's best to explain it all. I don't know how I am going to do it.

[BunnyMazonas]

Perhaps, try writing out a letter for your friend and base what you say on that?