Becoming agoraphobic

[kat2010]

Last year me and my partner was attacked outside my house and I saw my partner getting attacked and stabbed which resulted in me wetting myself. Since then I have slowly started to withdraw from social situation's and feel as though I can not travel far as I constantly have the fear of wetting myself in public again. Slowly over this year my problem has got worse and I feel I can not even walk a 5 minute walk without a panic attack or returning home. I have a really supportive boyfriend but He is not sure how to help me as He doesn't want to push me too far. I have two young children and I feel completely guilty and selfish that I can not take them anywhere, Its always my partner taking them places.
I have suffered from panic attacks in the past due to my phobia of dogs but they haven't really affected me as I have managed to avoid them by not going parks etc... but now I feel trapped, I am constantly lying awake at night saying to myself that tomorrow I'm going to get up at just go out but I find myself the next day making excuses without realising it. I have tried to avoid my problem my pretending it doesn't exist, my family just laugh and don't understand so any occasions I am constantly making up excuses as to why I can't go.
I am too scared to go to the doctors as when I have been recently I rush in get what I need then rush out using the toilet several times getting looks from the receptionists when I keep asking them to buzz me through to the toilets.
Like I said I have had two children so I know that my bladder is weaker now which makes my anxieties worse.
Please can someone try help me as I feel I can't go out the house now and feel so alone and pathetic

[pammy1944]

sounds like post traumatic stress to me .........speak to your doc if possible .........good luck xxxx

[Brunette]

You have been through as nasty experience Kat and it is not surprising it is making you feel like this. You fear of wetting yourself is mainly psychological but
that doesn't mean you don't need help and advice to get over that fear.

Your doctor can help you but obviously you need to go through with the visit? Can you phone the receptionist and explain what happened and how it has made you feel? I know it is hard to get a home visit these days but it might be worth askng for one.

Or it may be he or she can make special arrangements for your visit, a side room perhaps, where you can be on your own might make you feel calmer. Or that you wait outside until the doctor is free so thay can pop out and collect you?

Good luck. Hope you can sort something out soon.

B

[sb001f8994]

Hi Kat,
I know only too well how easy it is to avoid situations and end up avoiding life! Ive been agoraphobic for 30 years off and on, mostly off Im glad to say but its always there lurkiing in the background. The worst thing I did was give into the fear, its won on many occasions. Im now fighting to get my life back, Im bored with sitting in and letting things pass me by. Missing out on all the wonderful things my fear has denied me. I urge you to keep fighting this even though its hard and petrifying at times you have to fight with all your might. Dont let it win as I have, the more you show the fear who's boss the less it will affect you.
What you went through was horrendous and Im not surprised you wet your self, Im sure Id have done much more. Are you being treated or seeing a therapist about your fears? I saw a brilliant psychiatrist many years ago who helped me change my thought process, turning negatives into positives and although it didnt cure me it helped and its taken quite a while to master but Im no longer affraid of panic attacks, well yes they still sppok me but not fill me with dread so I have to run away...after all it always runs with you!!!
Your boyfriend sounds great but the problem is how far do they push? Do we want them to push us further as this may seem like bullying then on the other hand if they dont push at all is it coz they dont care? My hubby has always waited for me to ask for help, which is a pain as I often feel Im begging for a little support but we do have to remember unless they have suffered themselves it is very difficult for them to fully understand just exactly what a panic attack is and how very frightening they can be.
My only advice to you is stay strong, dont allow the fear to win and keep going out, no matter how hard it is, you will win if you keep going. There's a thread on here called agoraphobia and is full of posts from us all fighting the good fight and demanding our lives back, just seeing how others cope really helps.
Take care and if ever you need me just send me a message, not brilliant at much but I can offer you some help and support and lots of hugs xx

[kat2010]

Wow, I can not believe how nice and welcoming and understanding everyone is. Thank you all so much for all your help and support I can't believe how quick everyone was to reply. Honestly thank you all so much.
I have not seen anyone about my problems but I think your all right I need to set myself a goal to go see the doctors, I'm just so glad that I'm not alone and can talk openly about this this will help me towards going to my doctors
thanks again x : ) x

[Typer]

Kat you can get over this, you can. CBT therapy would be really helpful for your situation. Take care