never the same after drugs

[puppyskin]

ive been on a 19 year journey always wondering what the hell happened to me and what i suffer from.i took lsd in 1991 and suffered the most terrifying thing ever for about 8 hrs,basically was totally detached and full of panic.i finally fell asleep and woke up fine,then 2 weeks later bam!!it started again not as intense but really dream like feeling,and felt hyper aware of myself and looked at everything with worry and bewilderment and this feeling has never really left me.i seem more sensitive to things with a bleak outlook on life,no direction totally lost and scared.i really would like to get off this trip as ive just accepted it and thought id screwwed my brain up.i hate living a limited life as i dont really get out and enjoy things,always obsessing about my health..etc...thanks for reading.p.s ive not touched drugs since 1991,i dont even drink cos it makes me feel even further from reality.

[loveletter]

I smoked a bit of weed once that was in 1886 and went really funny full of panic and thought I was dyeing. I only smoked it the once but have never felt right since then.
Is it because of what I did that I am left with phobia and panic attacks to this day I do not know.

I have never took a drug since that day and dare not take any medication even when I have been ill as I am so scared will get like I did that night all over again.

I have also not drunk since 1986 as would not dare even have one glass

[puppyskin]

maybe i suffer high anxiety constantly and just accociate the feeling with the bad drug experiance maybe if id had a panic attack without the drugs i wouldnt feel so messed up.

[sarah jayne]

Ive never been the same since having some pills on a night out, i had a huge panic attack, ended up getting rushed to hospital in an ambulance and was in hospital wired up to machines. I will never ever touch drugs again...

[Typer]

It could be association, memory and fear of re-experiencing. This can provide a loop of anxious thinking, which takes us round an d around in a circle of fear. It's not impossible to break into that cycle and recover. That is why I think Claire Week's is book is so good as well as some CBT techniques

Puppyskin, have you been offered an EKG? I ask because I wonder if this may put your mind at ease re your fear you may have screwed your brain up.

[puppyskin]

i think i would fear a scan cos i would think the worst,do you think it sounds more like anxiety disorder?