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StressedEric
15-06-10, 15:18
Hi,
Has anyone else had depersonalization feelings continuous over a long period of time (like weeks) ?? I've been on Citalopram 20mg for 8 weeks for high anxiety and for the last four have felt like this continuously all day. Not sleeping very well and feel exhausted all the time. It has got worse in intensity the last week.

I know from reading posts in NMP many people get these feelings on/off but do not know of people having it continuous for this long. Last time saw doc she has just kept me on 20mg but think by 8 weeks I should be getting better least a bit?

Someone else on NMP said the Cit. dose of 20mg may be too high but I think that it could be the high anxiety causing it and the Cit not working? Is this a long term side effect of Cit? Any ideas?

keta
15-06-10, 15:29
Maybe decrease the dose to 15 - 10 mg and see if it helps otherwise i would speak to your GP about it, 8 weeks it's a long time to feel like that.
:hugs:

justagirl_
15-06-10, 15:37
Hey, I'm into my third week of citalopram now for anxiety and depression.
I've found depersonalisation to be a problem since I started on Cit..I've also suffered from it before due to the anxiety.
My dr has never known much about it when I've tried to explain it to him, but I'm seeing someone else when I go next so we shall see.

From everything I've read, people have just said go along with the depersonalisation and just sort of ride it out.

Good Luck xx

StressedEric
15-06-10, 21:08
Thanks Keta and justagirl.
Decided to take Keta's advice and see doc when can get appointment and talk about possibly reducing the dose (maybe to 15mg or 10mg) see if this helps. Fingers crossed!!!

Thanks for your help.

StressedEric
17-06-10, 12:22
Talking to my brother who is also on antidepressants (but not SSRIs), he said he had a bad reaction to SSRIs when his anxiety increased considerably and had to stop taking them and concerned the Cit. is effecting me in the same way.

Before taking Cit. I had no depersonalization and my anxiety was high but not like now. Taking this in consideration am thinking that it maybe the meds rather than my illness?

Felt gradually worse from yesterday. The depersonalization has increased. Had panic attacks one after another all last night. My anixety feels very high. Mind is really racing and the "chatterbox" is now in full flow worrying about everything including how I'm feeling and that can't cope. Have been pacing round the house in a total dream. This is definietly the worst I have felt and it is truely awful.

I've stuck with taking Cit this long and dose as everyone told me it will get better and know Cit. is the more tolerant SSRI but not convinced now and thinking now if it is the wrong med for me? Just feel confused as to what to do.

Feel too ill to go to docs today so have stayed in bed and monitor NMP for replies but try to get emergency apointment to see GP tomorrow.. Will try going from 20-10mg at first if GP agrees but is this too much a jump? I know you should come down doses slowly and a very gradual decreae but what is the typical time period other people have tried so that the withdrawl effects are minimised?

Just need reasurance and advice from anybody as very scared. :-(

keta
17-06-10, 13:27
Hi Eric

I think you should be ok going from 20mg to 10mg i ve done that before and don't remeber having any bad withdrawl symptoms i mean sounds like you in pretty bad way anyway i doubt you would get worse by decreasing to 10mg. I think you might be right not everyone reacts well to Citalopram so your GP should consider different medication for you asap.

Hope you feel better soon :hugs:

steveo1980
17-06-10, 13:47
have you tried anything else? hypnosis/CBT.

they may help?

StressedEric
17-06-10, 13:51
Thanks Keta. God, it's an awful feeling. Finding it hard to even write these replies. I'm shaking all over and just want to block it all out. Trying to calm myself down but very hard. :weep:

keta
17-06-10, 14:20
Oh dear I feel for you. Let us know tomorrow what your GP said.
:bighug1:

StressedEric
17-06-10, 15:03
Will do Keta. Managed to get out of bed now and will try watching a bit of the World cup match this afternoon lying on the sofa downstairs to see if this helps keeping my mind off the worry.

StressedEric
17-06-10, 15:18
have you tried anything else? hypnosis/CBT.

they may help?

Have tried relaxation techniques like breathing exercises but didn't gain much benefit from them. GP would not refer me to a councellor as at the time there was a huge waiting list for a National Health one and the doctors surgery doesn't have a councillor. Private councilling was quite expensive. Will mention to GP the possibility of referral again when I go.

steveo1980
17-06-10, 16:47
Private counselling is quite expensive but even if you can afford one session maybe it will help. I had hypnotherapy and who knows if it has worked to be honest. Have good days and bad days but it's all worth a try.

StressedEric
18-06-10, 10:53
Oh dear I feel for you. Let us know tomorrow what your GP said.
:bighug1:

Felt awful this morning, didn't get any sleep thru worrying. Managed to get to see my GP. Went in there shaking like a leaf and the depersonalization was bad. Went through how I was feeling and that I think I have a reaction to the Cit.

What she said is that she doesn't think it's a reaction and that she thought it was helping even though I was repeatedly saying my anxiety has gone up recently. She told me to keep on the Citalopram and that the dose may be too low and raised it from 20mg to 30mg! :ohmy:

I feel even worse now cos now worried about the added dose will mean more side effects and my anxiety will go up further and the extra dose have no effect. Sat staring at the packet hesitating if to take the extra 10mg.

Feel I'm going downhill as the days go on. Don't know where to turn now. Feel the GP hasn't helped. Want some hope that I will get better but all I can think of is getting worse.:weep:

StressedEric
18-06-10, 12:41
What sort of usual effects am I likely to have if I decide to take the extra 10mg and go from 20-30mg of Cit.? I am still terrified that I won't be able to cope if I get any worse. Feeling awful as it is. The GP doesn't seem to think there will be any bad effects but I'm sure I read in posts somewhere on NMP that they can be as bad as the initial ones? :shrug:

Just trying my best to get some positive thoughts and reasurance so I can try and ease my worries.:unsure: The light at the end of the tunnel looks so far away at the moment...

keta
18-06-10, 12:58
Hi Eric

That's rubbish isn't it what your GP has done or ot done really, i'm really surprised she even increased your dose, i think if you decide to take the extra 10mg you may get some side effects back before your body adjusts again, but I still don't get why would she not consider different tablets if you have been onn Citalopram for a while with no improvements ad actualy getting worse :mad:

suzy-sue
18-06-10, 14:20
Hi Eric ..sorry you are feeling bad after all this time .I would advise you to up your dose by 5mg to start with and see how you are in a couple of weeks ,I did this a few times when my dose was increased and it lessens the side effects .Increase again only when you feel more stable .If you are taking 10mg tabs its easy to bite one in half ,or you can buy pill cutters from the chemist for just over a pound .All the best and I hope your anx settles down soon ,:hugs:sue xx

StressedEric
18-06-10, 15:27
Hi Eric

That's rubbish isn't it what your GP has done or ot done really, i'm really surprised she even increased your dose, i think if you decide to take the extra 10mg you may get some side effects back before your body adjusts again, but I still don't get why would she not consider different tablets if you have been onn Citalopram for a while with no improvements ad actualy getting worse :mad:

I share your feelings Keta. I was expecting her to say, Ok lets get you off Cit. and we'll try something else. I told her that I didn't feel any real benefit from taking the Cit. and should be improving at least level not feeling worse. She said Cit. was for anxiety and would like to stay with ir rather than try something else. Other meds were not even offered! :ohmy:

My brother is on diferent meds and was angry with how I have been treated. He had a battle with many GPs to get what he wanted and thankfully is a lot better now since the right meds were found for him.

Trying at the moment to calm myself down as feeling very shaky. Not sure what to do yet (1) reducing dose against GPs wishes or (2) just try the extra dose to see if this makes a difference.

keta
18-06-10, 15:41
Could you see other GP for a second opinion at all??

keta
18-06-10, 15:55
There is another drug used just for anxiety called BUSPIRONE or Buspar but i think it's just for short term use but i don't know much about it, i know few people mention it on here. I still can't belive your GP just left you to it.

StressedEric
18-06-10, 18:22
There is another drug used just for anxiety called BUSPIRONE or Buspar but i think it's just for short term use but i don't know much about it, i know few people mention it on here. I still can't belive your GP just left you to it.

Thank you loads Keta for your kind support and advice through this difficult time. I had an emergency appointment today so no guarantee which doctor will be available - I just happened to have my "regular" doctor today by chance. I can't get a normal appointment with another doctor for about 2 weeks.

This is the first time I've heard about Buspirone and know nothing about it and the effects so would have to do my research.

One part of me is thinking now mayb the Cit wasn't strong enough and it is the illness which is the issue and that I should at least try 25mg to see if this helps (as this is easier than coming off it). The other part is saying NO WAY. This decision is doing no help to my anxiety. :shrug:

I'm edging towards trying the 25mg, just so tired (as not sleeping) and the anxiety makes it hard for me to think at the moment. The GP did give me a short course of the sedative Levomepromazine 25mg to take at night to help me sleep but worried how this will effect me.

Thinking about CBT as well but will have to go private conselling for this. I am trying to reassure myself that I will get better but it is very hard.

StressedEric
18-06-10, 18:24
God! Just had a sharp very dizzy spell all of a sudden, probably all the adrenaline which is causing thru my viens all day??? Have been feeling lightheaded all day. Was going to go out to watch the England match but may stay at home and lie down now. Need something to calm me down!

steveo1980
18-06-10, 22:19
hope you have managed to calm down a little. bet the football bored you to sleep?

think CBT could be good. certainly worth a try.

PoppyC
18-06-10, 22:25
Hi
I had depersonalisationa and derealisation for a long time - before I was on Citalopram - in fact Citalopram got rid of it for me.
I am a bit drunk and depressed at the moment due to England not scoring! :weep: but if you want then feel free to pm me and I will be happy to help.
One thing - you wont always feel as you do. I thought I would have depersonalisation for life, but eventually it went. It is horrid and is purely caused by anxiety.

StressedEric
20-06-10, 11:58
Still feel really awful. Finding it very hard to think positive about anything now. Every time I try I just count these as not helping and slip back down to feeling negative. Got rushes of tingling feeling through arms continually yesterday and today and very dizzy and the depersonalisation i still bad. :weep:

Didn't sleep at all. Think I made the wrong choice of having some wine in evening which has just pobably made things worse. I live alone so have no one there all the time to help which makes it harder.

My anxiety just seems so be getting worse. Made the decision to take 25mg of Cit. yesterday but thinking now that this is wrong decision. Talking to my brother, he thinks that the Cit. is the wrong med for me as it hasn't really helped, my anxiety is still very high and increasing the dose will only make things worse. I'm starting to agree with him as after 8 weeks I should be feeling some benefit and not feel worse!

Just wanted it to end. Not thinking of harming myself though.

I must admit I had high anxiety before taking Cit. but I didn't feel anywhere this bad then. Think that I am so bad that thinking of going against doc advice and reducing my dose (instead of highering it) and see if this helps me?

If I go this way, I might go down to 15mg for a couple of weeks and then 10mg and monitor how I feel.

I feel this is the lowest point now I have been :weep:

Jeffro
20-06-10, 14:23
Hey!

Just though i'd chip in, this is my main symptom and has been everytime i get a period of bad anxiety, feelings of surreal, detached, confusion, everything feels odd and scary, sometimes even bleak and i get feelings of depression and despair which are really scary and can make you really panicky. I had a really bad spell of this in my early twenties but it went away for a very long time thanks to counselling and seroxat. I know exactky how you feel, im having a bit of a bad time at the moment, not too sure why it has come back which is frustrating but its really intense, same symptoms you are describing. Im not as worried as i have been here before and know it will pass, i just wanted to assure you that no matter how bad you feel it will runs its course and you will be ok, i found the best thing to help it on its way is to exercise, eat well and try not to worry as you will be ok my friend, its very hard not to but its like a spinning top, the more you worry the more you spin it.

Good luck, im sure your gonna be just fine.

Pdubya86
20-06-10, 14:42
Eric, do you mind me asking how your depersonalisation feels?

Do you feel detatched from your body...like your limbs feel spacey, disconnected? Or do you feel detached from whats around you?

StressedEric
20-06-10, 15:40
Hey!

Just though i'd chip in, this is my main symptom and has been everytime i get a period of bad anxiety, feelings of surreal, detached, confusion, everything feels odd and scary, sometimes even bleak and i get feelings of depression and despair which are really scary and can make you really panicky. I had a really bad spell of this in my early twenties but it went away for a very long time thanks to counselling and seroxat. I know exactky how you feel, im having a bit of a bad time at the moment, not too sure why it has come back which is frustrating but its really intense, same symptoms you are describing. Im not as worried as i have been here before and know it will pass, i just wanted to assure you that no matter how bad you feel it will runs its course and you will be ok, i found the best thing to help it on its way is to exercise, eat well and try not to worry as you will be ok my friend, its very hard not to but its like a spinning top, the more you worry the more you spin it.

Good luck, im sure your gonna be just fine.

Hi Jeffro. I'm sorry to hear that you also going through a tough time as well at the moment. I'm confident with your positive attitude that you will come through this bad time. You kind words have helped lift me up a little bit and I feel a little more relaxed now. It is still very difficult to keep positive while the anxiety drives me down but I will keep what you said in my mind and hopefully it will become easier eventually.

I am so greatful for your help and support and from everyone in NMP for helping me through this bad time.

StressedEric
20-06-10, 15:46
Eric, do you mind me asking how your depersonalisation feels?

Do you feel detatched from your body...like your limbs feel spacey, disconnected? Or do you feel detached from whats around you?

I feel detached from reality like I am not in control and cannot remember doing things I have done ealier (like why i'd I put that there?). It's like I am in like a very drunk state. When I watch TV for instance, I'm not really "watching" it - I don't take anything in. It's like my mind is blank. I think this comes under depersonalisation symptoms?

StressedEric
20-06-10, 17:48
Hi
I had depersonalisationa and derealisation for a long time - before I was on Citalopram - in fact Citalopram got rid of it for me.
I am a bit drunk and depressed at the moment due to England not scoring! :weep: but if you want then feel free to pm me and I will be happy to help.
One thing - you wont always feel as you do. I thought I would have depersonalisation for life, but eventually it went. It is horrid and is purely caused by anxiety.

It's like my mind is always in a loop racing thinking about something in the background but it doesn't seem to be about anything in particular but it's always there and I think it is contributing to the depersonalisation and worry as it won't go. I know this sounds really weird but can't describe it better.:wacko: I've had a MRI scan and nothing sinister like tumour was found.

StressedEric
21-06-10, 13:17
Feel so tired and weak today. Don't care about anything just got no energy, head is swimming. Tried getting up and thinking of positive things to do to keep mind active but my mind just wants me to go straight back to bed. Can feel tingling waves of going through my arms (the adrenaline), was doing this all last night and still doing it. Legs are aching. Didn't sleep only got a couple of hours. Can the adrenaline make you this tired???? Started getting worried out these constant adrenaline rushes making me very dizzy all the time and that it is seriously harming me.

I know Cit. can make you tired as well which doesn't help but usually still have enough energy to get through the day. Still taking Cit 20mg. Was thinking of takin the Levomepromazine 25mg that the doc gave me tonight to make me sleep but scared to take it as feeling very drowsy at the moment so didn't think it best to take a sedative as well? Know it sounds daft but terrified that if take it that I'll go into a coma or not wake up!

Has anyone heard of or tried this med? My doc said it was a sedative that is given to people who suffer anxiety that are in severe pain and it to helps them sleep. :shrug:

As I live alone so there is no one here for support a lot of the time. My brother and Dad are working all week and I see them briefly but difficult to stay at their houses I get better. It would def help if someone was always there.

I hope I get better days soon just feel like curling up and staying in bed forever :sad::sad:

keta
22-06-10, 14:21
Hi eric

I see you still feeling no good. I never had any sedatives while on Citalopram but maybe it would calm you down a bit, I have to take some antihistamines for my allergy and they too make me drowsy and with the citalopram it's double effect but at least i get good night sleep, I only have a 5 year old living with me so if something happened would not be a great situation either. Maybe if you take one get your brother or dad give you call next day to see if you ok.

Hope you feel better soon. :hugs:

Jeffro
22-06-10, 19:58
Hey Eric!

Do you mind me asking what triggered all this? is it the first time you have dealt with a period of anxiety? trust me i can relate to all of the things you are saying, it sucks that you have no one at home to chat to. Believe me when i say anxiety will always run its course, even if you spend all your time worrying about it, it will still settle. I went to Australia 3 years ago and met my girlsfriend, i was already feeling really anxious and spaced out, then we broke up! I hadnt slept for 2 nights and i went on anxiety nosedive thats was really bad, 12000 miles from home and feeling truly awful, i just about coped, and after 3 weeks when i was at my lowest it just lifted, out of noweher i just suddenly felt better, my head cleared and i was ok, no meds. My point is that even if you keep worrying it wont last forever, but if you break the worry cycle and do everything you can to help yourself i.e counselling, diet, exercise, meds, talking, cbt etc you can really speed that process up. Im hoping that will work for me this time aswell! It can be really scary i know but anxiety and the symptoms you are experiencing can cause you no physical harm, no one has ever gone crazy from them. Everytime i have a little relapse i always have to fight the same thoughts, you are gonna get really bad this time... you are not gonna be able to cope... you are not gonna get better.... etc etc, trust me its all nonsense, every single time you have one of those thoughts you need to tell yourself that, its so hard i know, im doing it right now and so is my flatmate!! (who also suffers from anxiety)

StressedEric
29-06-10, 16:22
Hey Eric!

Do you mind me asking what triggered all this? is it the first time you have dealt with a period of anxiety? trust me i can relate to all of the things you are saying, it sucks that you have no one at home to chat to. Believe me when i say anxiety will always run its course, even if you spend all your time worrying about it, it will still settle. I went to Australia 3 years ago and met my girlsfriend, i was already feeling really anxious and spaced out, then we broke up! I hadnt slept for 2 nights and i went on anxiety nosedive thats was really bad, 12000 miles from home and feeling truly awful, i just about coped, and after 3 weeks when i was at my lowest it just lifted, out of noweher i just suddenly felt better, my head cleared and i was ok, no meds. My point is that even if you keep worrying it wont last forever, but if you break the worry cycle and do everything you can to help yourself i.e counselling, diet, exercise, meds, talking, cbt etc you can really speed that process up. Im hoping that will work for me this time aswell! It can be really scary i know but anxiety and the symptoms you are experiencing can cause you no physical harm, no one has ever gone crazy from them. Everytime i have a little relapse i always have to fight the same thoughts, you are gonna get really bad this time... you are not gonna be able to cope... you are not gonna get better.... etc etc, trust me its all nonsense, every single time you have one of those thoughts you need to tell yourself that, its so hard i know, im doing it right now and so is my flatmate!! (who also suffers from anxiety)

I've always been a nervous person and have suffered from the occasional panic attacks in the past. Last year had quite a lot of pressure at work which I thought I was dealing with ok. Then I changed jobs and this added new pressures. To add to this at the start of this year I started to have real problems with blurry vision. Went to see consultants and doctors many times over the coming months and they did not know what it was and just kept giving me drops to put in my eyes. I started to get panic attacks as thought I was going blind and nothing I did was working. The anxiety got more and more as time went on until I couldn't cope anymore. I started to worry a lot about every illness and symptom (even if they were not related to my eyes) The panic attacks were continuous and in the end couldn't work.

I was eventually diagnosed with severe dry eye by a top consultant at Royal Liverpool but my anxiety was still very high. This is when I was prescribed Citalopram.

I know it is a long road to recovery and am hoping that I will get there (eventually). This week I have had some better days so hopefully this is the start on that road. Thanks for your help

StressedEric
02-07-10, 13:36
Started to feel better during this week. Although the depersonalisation is still there I managed to get it down to 1/2 of what it was by just filling my days with LOTS of distractions. Was even thinking of going back to work next week!!! :)

However today I think I may be experiencing a "blip"??? as it has come back very strong and very frightened. I felt a bit weird yesterday as well but it wasn't as bad and just shrugged it off. I am suffering badly with hay fever so maybe worrying about this has bought it on?

God I hate these bad days.... :unsure:

StressedEric
06-07-10, 22:06
Hay Fever cleared up now thankfully so not sneezing so much now!

Been back at work two days now (after two more weeks off) and have found it very difficult getting through each day. Now think identified work as a trigger as at the weekend I could feel myself getting more and more afraid about going and that I won't be able to cope. Tried to convince myself it will be alright but just couldn't shut out the damn fear. Don't want to quit as it is a well paid job, they really rely on me and worried won't find another job.

As well as this the thoughts came back AGAIN that the DP will permantly damage my brain as have had it for such a long long time even though people in prev posts tried to convince me it wont! :unsure:. This made me more worried and now feel numb, dizzy, very shaky and worn out. Haven't had much to eat today as don't feel hungry ay all. Dreading work tomorrow. Tried going to parents house after work but only stayed a short time as feel awkward talking about my anxiety with parents recently as every time I see them it is the only topic I generally talk about and sense they are getting fed up (altough they haven't actually said anything) so just wanted to come back and go to bed.. Praying tomorrow will be better :-(

sjuri23
28-07-10, 20:38
Eric I know how you feel!

I feel drunk and foggy headed all the time. It feels like I am drunk but I still have all my cognitive functions and have all my motor skills. It also feels like my legs are moving slow and the I am almost not in reality. Very scary feeling. I am young and am used to being go-go-go all the time and not stopping. I used to feel invincible but now this "fog" is over me and I don't feel the same as I used to. Just know that there are people out there just like you and that you are not alone. People do care.

StressedEric
30-07-10, 13:28
Eric I know how you feel!

I feel drunk and foggy headed all the time. It feels like I am drunk but I still have all my cognitive functions and have all my motor skills. It also feels like my legs are moving slow and the I am almost not in reality. Very scary feeling. I am young and am used to being go-go-go all the time and not stopping. I used to feel invincible but now this "fog" is over me and I don't feel the same as I used to. Just know that there are people out there just like you and that you are not alone. People do care.

Still have it even now and got to the stage that it has become a habit thinking about the symptoms 24/7 so cannot break out of it. I have tried to keep my mind oppupied as usual but nothing now seems to work. It is now affecting how I talk to people its like I cannot remember what I was talking about half way thru a sentense!