Wanting to reduce to 30mg but anxiety

[ElizabethJane]

Hi there I have recently been posting about how well I have been feeling. More recently I have experienced really bad anxiety attacks. It has had quite an impact on me. Not only do I experience the anxiety (horrible enough but also the accompanying negative thoughts. I can hear a voice in my head telling me not to do whatever it is I want to do for if I do this bad thing will happen (and they are quite specific) The 'voice' is quite wearing and I can usually shut it up by doing what I want to do ie feeling the fear and the unpleasant feelings and doing it anyway. I see my GP tomorrow and I know I've been over doing it. My boss is away so extra responsibilities and every weekend I have been singing either singing days a friends wedding and evensongs. Not much you might think but I stress over decisions at work which I have to make and thinking what would D (my boss) do in a particular situation. I know that the anxiety is a sign of stress and that if I ease up then it will probably disappear. I have already booked a day off for when he comes back. It has come as a bit of a blow especially as I was hoping to go down to 30mg of mirtazapine so that he could up it when I am really ill rather than throwing another drug at me. I have diazepan which I carry at all times and was close to taking on Sunday. This internal voice is so wearing. I feel very tired also. EJ

[BubbleBonce]

So sorry this is happening to you ElizabethJane. Have you done a check of other good things you could be doing? Diet (healthy/wholfood), exercise, relaxation? It's hard to keep good things up when you're stressed but SO important. Don't worry about dropping your dose now, things will improve later.

Hugz

Bubble

[JT69]

Hi Elizabeth-Jane,

Sorry that you are feeling anxious....and after you have been so well. Perhaps when your boss returns and you get back to normal again you will find you settle again and then perhaps think about dropping your dose?

Typical isnt it as soon as you decide to drop your dose along comes the anxiety.

I do hope you feel really well again soon.

Take care.
Jo.xx

[pollyanna]

Hi EJ

i think its called swings and roundabouts, the higher we climb when we feel well, it seems to hit harder when we drop, the good thing is that you have identified your stressors and anxiety relating to that, and you have made a plan, a day off and getting yourself back on track when your boss comes back.
I know its dissapointing when you were wanting to drop your dosage, but all is not lost, get yourself back on track, do want you can to de stress, and it will happen, this is just a hitch.

Tc

P x :flowers:

[ElizabethJane]

I have been back to my GP tonight and she does not want me to reduce the mirtazapine in the foreseeable future. I feel a bit frustrated by this but I have been having such horrendous anxiety. She hopes as my commitments lessen and my 'diary ' is a little less full my anxiety will lessen. She was pleased that I am still able to function and go to work etc. She reminded me of the various breakdowns and 'burnout' that I had experienced in the past. I do not have any resistance to stress so anxiety comes to the fore with any additional stress that I have to face. She has given me a script for valium but I will only take if I really really need it. Not sure what to do next? I have a hypnosis session booked for next week and I can make an apointment to see Dr J if things dont improve.

[ElizabethJane]

Thanks Pauline Jo and Bubble for replying to my thread in a sensible manner. You will know what I mean.

[JT69]

Hi EJ,

Totally know what you mean and really feel for you. Like me, trying to carry on as you normally do etc (work) is important. I know it is for me right now but I am finding it so hard, not even managing to eat some days it is so bad!!

I know you will be disheartened by your GP's decision but this phase will pass and perhaps then you can think about reducing.

Is valium the same as diazepam??? And does it help you manage better to get through the day??

Take care.
Jo.xx

[ElizabethJane]

Struggling big time with the anxiety today. I felt sick when I woke up and persevered and managed to get in the car to go to work. When I got to the car park I decided to take a valium tablet. When I got to work D my boss was there. I told him that I was suffering from severe anxiety. The valium certainly took the edge of the anxiety but I did feel a bit muddled and unable to concentrate. I spoke to P Dr J's secretary and he does not have a free appointment until 28th June. My GP told me to wait as she thought that the anxiety would pass but I just feel so much near the edge weepy and unable to cope. I just wanted to come home and go to bed. I have been able to overcome far worse. It seems an uphill struggle at the moment. The increased anxiety is so debilitating and I feel quite depressed by it. I know it is easy to take a pill but that is not the answer and you are not supposed to drive after taking them. I have also spoken to a friend and he also feels that this will pass. I have no resistance to extreme stress and no resources to cope. This is because I have had many breakdowns and 'burnout' in the past. I think that if there is a drug that I could take that would relieve this anxiety then I would take it. I did not realise that it could get as bad as this again. I haven't run away and I have honoured my commitments.

[JT69]

Hi Elizabeth-Jane,

Your post filled my eyes with tears...I so feel for you knowing how you feel and you carrying on, it is so hard when anxiety takes a hold. It is hard to imagine it passing when you are in the midst of it all.

I have been struggling for weeks with constant anxiety from waking until sometimes all day with evenings just giving me a little restbite. My GP said I am bordering on GAD hence prescribing the pregabalin which I have now been taking for 2 weeks last week I increased to 150mg (the dose for GAD) it will be a week tonight since upping the dose. This week I have had some terriable days with Wednesday been the worst so far in months!!

I do hope this passes for you soon as it is so exhausting and makes you depressed as you say, trying to cope day in day out.

Take care, thinking of you.
Jo.xx

[ElizabethJane]

Thanks Jo. You are quite an inspiration continuing with day to day life when anxiety is hitting hard. I have just been told some news which made me feel really excited yet except I felt really anxious. No answers at the moment just know I'm going to cut down on the caffeine and also stick to reasonably bland food as my tummy wont settle either. I have hypnosis in the weeek so I'm hoping to use the session to tackle the anxiety too. I've just been too busy to exercise so maybe some swimming will help too. Singing helps as a distraction but in between yes I feel anxious. Have evensong in the cathedral tomorrow plus a concert next week. I will do it anxiety or not.

[pollyanna]

EJ

i know how hard it is to keep going when you are feeling such inner turmoil, but as you said you have not run away , you are keeping your commitments, and trying your best to continue with your everyday life AND go to work, that takes a LOT of energy and determination.
I know it doesnt feel like it right now, but by going through the motions, eventually it will come good, and you will get back to where you where, i think you have just got to try and roll with it just now, just keep doing the things you are doing, and get support from where you can, i think the hypnosis session next week will come along at the right time. I know that valium is not the answer , but if you have to take a few to get you over this hurdle then thats ok, i had to do the very same thing in december.
try and get a rest/exercise balance as best you can, and the singing will help use up of some of that excess adrenalin.

keep in touch, and keep talking

Best wishes

P x :hugs:

[ElizabethJane]

Thanks P and Jo I am feeling much better today and even had a lie in. Still loads to do and I feel like John Cleese's character in 'Clockwise if anyone remembers it. I want to get through the evensong without any anxiety. Tummy problems are better too although I have taken some imodium. I will post later to let you know how I got on. Should be good singing in the Cathedral with P (another P) conducting.

[JT69]

Hi EJ,

So glad you feel better today...love the John Cleese bit know it well!!1 I hope you managed to enjoy the singing!!

Take care.
Jo.xx

[jo61]

Hi, I can understand your frustration - i hoped to reduce to 30mg mirt as well recently but was a bit anxious. My psychiatrist told me to wait,, get the smaller dose and do it when I feel I'm ready. She stressed that it's not a race and I must do it when I feel strong enough and not before. The great thing is that the lower doses are just as sedating as the higher one so sleep will still be good. You're doing really well, going to work, getting on with life. Do try to fit in the exercise, that makes a huge difference. If I go a few days without walking my dogs I notice the difference.

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

[pollyanna]

Hi EJ

Glad that you felt a bit better yesterday, and hope it has carried on to today, hope that the evensong went well. keep going your doing well...:hugs:

thinking of you

P x

[ElizabethJane]

Hi all thankyou for your kind comments. Jo69 are you taking 30mg of mirtazapine now in combination with the lithium? I manage to go to the evensong but still experiencing some quite bad anxiety attacks. I am now waiting for it to happen so that brings on an attack. This is different from a panic attack but similar feelings pounding heart and giddy feeling and wanting to run away. I am going to cut down on my coffee next week and see if that makes any difference. I am singing in a concert next weekend but small baby steps at the moment. Thanks all for being so supportive. EJ.

[ElizabethJane]

Sorry I forgot to add I have hypnosis on Wednesday with Dr B and have made an appointment to see Dr J on 28th.

[JT69]

Hi Elizabeth-Jane,

I dont take lithium, I take 30mg mirtazipine and have just started on pregabalin (for GAD) I am up to 150mg a day of this, and fingers crossed its helping me.

Hopefully your hypnosis will help and at least you have your appointment with Dr J on the 28th.

Take care.
Jo.xx

[ElizabethJane]

Sorry it's Jo61. Hi Jo (JT69) I hope that you have had a good day.

[jo61]

Yes, all the Jos, very confusing. I am still on 45mg. Was due to reduce last month but had a bit of a blip so staying put for the moment. No rush, would rather be well. I still take 1000mg lithium at night.
:hugs:

[ElizabethJane]

Hi Jo61 I wanted to reduce too but I have been told to wait. Anxiety wise I am feeling much better today although I am dealing with loads more stress. It's not my stress but it involves my sister. It is very hard and very sad and I can't go into anymore details on here. I am looking foward to seeing Dr J next week. Jo61 you can always post on here if you need extra support in reducing the mirt. Hi to JT69 and P and all those who continue to support me and others. Thank you.

[pollyanna]

Hi EJ

glad to hear that the anxiety is a bit better today, sorry to hear that there is other stress involving your sister. you know that you can always pm me if you ever want to let off steam or air your thoughts, but no pressure either way, the offer will always be open.


tc

P x

[JT69]

Hi EJ,

Great to here the anxiety is alot better for you, sorry about the stress situation with your sister.....hope it improves for you. As far as support, we are always here for you as you have been for others in the past, so keep posting and hoping that it will help you feel better.

Take care of yourself.
Jo.xx

[Gordon64]

Hi ElizabethJane

You were good enough to reply to one of my posts the other day and reading your recent experiences I feel for you.

I think you have to continue on 30mg meantime-I know you may already know this but it seems to be accepted that Mirtazapine is a weird AD in that the 15mg dose is actually more sedative than a higher dose. My point is that if you are trying to keep up with work and other commitments the last thing you want is to be drowsy/asleep!

I feel so much empathy with people on here-I have experience of Mirt as you know and am glad it seems to work for you. Don't be too disheartened about not being able to taper down yet-I am sure you will reach that point soon.

Take care

Gordon

[ElizabethJane]

Hi Gordon I'm actually taking 45mg mirtazapine and I see my psychiatrist on Monday. Interestingly when I went back on mirtazapine I did not have any increased sedation infact the opposite is true and I have trouble in sleeping. I have been taking meds for a very long time (lithium as well) and I have to be extra careful. I wouldn't want myself to slide into depression again. When I am well I forget the meds I still take them and they do their job. I am feeling a lot better this week. The anxiety is a nasy thing as it catches you unawares and I always want to run and sometimes that is to the nearest loo! There could be several issues going on with me apart from doing too much and getting very stressed. My boss today did not like the idea of me taking Friday off but my son has an appointment with the paedritrician. I dont think D realises how stressed I have felt whilst he was away. I am nearing the menopause although I had a hyst in 2007. I just wonder if these odd feelings are anything to do with that? I'm not asking for an answer to my question. My sister is under great stress at the moment and her situation scares the life out of me. I dont want to allow my own fears to paralyse me and me not being able to help her.

[Gordon64]

Hi Elizabeth Jane

For obvious reasons I can't give you advice on the menopause! Though I did read in the paper the other day they reckon there may be a male version! Make of that what you will...

One thing I can empathasise with is that when I first had a relapse of depression/anxiety in October last year (brought on by life events and move of house) my system broke down physically as well and the waterworks went as well leading to me spending my time constantly near the loo. They thought it might be prostate related (I'm 45) but was tested and they reckon it was just down to the extreme stress I was under at the time so difficult to really know exactly why these things happen.

Take care and really hope life gets better for you soon

G

[JT69]

Hi Elizabeth-Jane,

Wondered how you were doing?? Good I hope. I know its not long until you see Dr J so I guess you are waiting for that....hope all is well.

Take care.
Jo.xx

[ElizabethJane]

Hello all I have been to see Dr J this morning. I felt incredibly anxious but I was fine once I was in talking to him. He does not want me to change my meds ie reduce to 30mg at the moment. This decision has actually come as a relief as I would not have the inner resources to cope with such a change. We discussed a stress management course that they run at the Priory but I think that they run it during the day. I'm sure that it would be useful. He mentioned 'Mind' but I think that it has changed to 'Rethink' and their resources are stretched. I know what to do to reduce the anxiety ie reducing my stress levels and trying not to do too much. He does not think that there is anything 'wrong' with my bowels apart from IBS. Very briefly at the end I mentioned pregabalin and he would be keen to let me try it if my anxiety does not settle. I felt pleased about this as he had already thought about prescribing it for me. At the moment I am fairly settled on one diazapan tablet and I take them very infrequently. At least I know that there is something else that I can try in addition to the mirtazaine and the lithium. I haven't read up much on pregabalin but it is defintely a step in the right direction. All in all a very favourable meeting with him. EJ. I hope that you are all doing ok??

[JT69]

Hi Elizabeth-Jane,

Am really pleased that your appointment went well....understandably Dr J would leave you on your current dose as reducing at this moment in time would not be good.

I have been on the pregabalin for (this is my 4th week) and it has definately helped. I had a fantastic week last week and part of the week before, not so good again today but I am convinced it may be hormonal as it is coming up to that time of the month again and this has caused me to dip again each month for a while....we shall see!!! If you do decide to take pregabalin dont be put off by what some people have wrote on the threads as I didn't experience any of the side effects hardly and was scared to take it at first!!! There are a couple of people on here taking it too and they supported me. Keep me posted but it is when working surposed to be a wonder drug!!! Fingers crossed for both of us!!!!

Take care.
Jo.xx

[ElizabethJane]

I have been back to see my GP this week. She still wants me to continue on 45mg and not to reduce the mirtazapine to 30mg in the foreseable future. I am feeling a lot better since I experienced major anxiety. Just looking at the old posts that was at the end of June. The anxiety has eased. That is not to say that I am completely free of it. I am not. If I experience a panic attack I tell myself that it will soon pass and it usually does. I have been panicing when I have got too hot in Church. I also feel panicy if I am in a situation that I can't easily get out of. The problem with being on 45mg is the weight gain. My weight has been steadily increasing. I need to keep an eye on it all the time time. I also find that I have been feeling very tired lately. As an anti depressant mirtazapine works very very well. I was also experiencing sleep problems which have all but disappeared. If anyone has any weight loss tips I would be pleased to know. I have to eat reasonably well because of taking lithium. EJ.

[JT69]

Hi EJ,

Glad to hear your anxiety has improved some what....makes me wonder if we will ever be completely free of it. Do you think the weight gain is worse on the higher doses then?..I have gained so much too...I just am so hungry most of the time and find it very difficult not to eat, I do try and eat the right things but this goes out the window at times...I cannot get my head in the right frame to lose any at the moment so am just plodding along....so not got any tips am afraid apart from the obvious.

I wish you well with it though and glad you doing o.k.

Take care
Jo.xx

[ElizabethJane]

Hi Jo I think that in my own experience of mirtazapine in higher doses it does increase weight gain. The only plus is decreased anxiety. I have lost weight whilst being on mirtazapine. My GP and Dr J are reluctant to alllow me to drop the mirtazapine. I have had a few days off before going on holiday but have noticed an increase in anxiety. I don't think that it is bad enough to ask for any other medication. I will lose weight with the help of diet and exercise but it will be hard work. At the moment I am about 10lbs overweight but still within the healthy range for my height and BMI just about ok. I'll let you know how I get on. I think mental stability is more important than going on a diet. For me I have the Winter to look foward to. Always a hard time for us depressives. Take care Jo do what you can. Even losing a small amount will be a bonus. EJ

[ElizabethJane]

Well I've been back to my GP today and she has said things to me that I did not want to hear. She does not what me to go down to 30mg mirtazapine and shook her head very assertively when I suggested this. I thought that if I went down to 30mg it would help me to lose weight quicker. That is definitely a no go area at the moment although I am following my diet very well and plotting it on the computer. I feel that I am always living on the edge of becoming ill again. I'm not ill at the moment but the feelings are always there. It is times like this when I can really relate to those who are feeling really depressed because part of me is there too and yet I fight those feelings on a daily basis. I soak up other peoples stress and anxiety. Most people would think that I am doing really well at the moment going to work and starting the choirs again yet it can quickly become an agony, a torment. Sorry to be so negative tonight. Our computer has been playing up so I have been unable to log on properly for days. There are a few people I can really talk to like Dr J and two other people but I'm selective. Apart from Dr J it is difficult to trust anybody as I have been hurt so many times and let down. I'm sure that I will feel differently tomorrow and hopefully get thing into perspective. EJ.

[JT69]

Hi EJ,

Really can relate to what you say. Please dont be disappointed about not being able to reduce the mirtazipine as it is helping you and your GP knows best...I also think you know too deep inside. If its any comfort to you, even on 15mg I dont seem to be losing any weight...if anything creeping up even further...not nice but as you have told me we need to be well mental wize, thats what I keep telling myself too!! Bloody feels unfair sometimes doesn't it??

None of us know what the next day will bring and I think its good that you have the help of the meds to stabilize you and also allow you to live a normal life.

Send you a big hug.:hugs:

Take care of yourself.
Jo.xx