Hi im new

[twilight]

My name's Sarah and I am 29 and a mum of one (12 almost)

I am new here after someone recommending you and I am struggling badly with anxiety/panic attacks daily and its taking over my life :(

I look forward to meeting others in similar situations and making new friends hopefully. xxxx

[diane07]

Hi twilight

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[camo]

Hello Sarah, I'm new too.

I hope you overcome your problems soon. Good luck x

[magpie girl]

hi sarah and welcome to NMP xxxx:D

[AJS]

hi twighlight

I've not been on here in about 6 weeks - but you've reached the right place - I'm a mum of one as well and 27 - and from oct last year started suffering panic attacks and anxiety - i was in a horrible place - couldn't sleep, eat or go to work etc.
It's been up and down - but just now i'm in a much better place - no panic attacks and very little anxiety, back at work - living my live almost normally.
I got some great advice on here and being able to talk to people who have been through the same thing is a godsend - I thought I was going mad and nobody else felt like this until i stumbled across nmp!!!
read the info on here and get as much advice as you can, I went to see a stress counselor for months (luckily for me in my area this was free and had no waiting list - others are not so lucky) and am on citalopram 20mg that the doc put me on. Now and again I take the odd beta blocker to help if i'm feeling anxious.
I never believed people that those horrible feelings would pass and things would get better but it does!!!! - i never rule out that it won't happen again - but at least now I am better equipt for it and understand it better. Take all the help you can get and take each day at a time!
Wishing you a smooth journey to getting better

Aj x

[lynn1960]

hope you are feeling better soon same as you i thought the feelings would never stop but they do it takes time but you will feel ok again please pm me if you want to talk

[greenrose]

hi everyone, my name is Bella and looking forward on all your posts.
have you heard of wrinkle removal (http://bestantiagingtreatments.com/wrinkle-removal-through-diet/)?

[twilight]

Thank you for the warm welcomes. I guess I should post my background and why I'm here.

I've always been your average girl, not outgoing or overly confident (like my brother and sister) but not too shy and up for a laugh. After having my son aged 17 I developed a thicker skin due to constant put downs on being a teen mum and didn't give a damn what people thought etc and became much more confident.

I had a miscarrige quite traumatically aged 19 and became obsessed with having another child. I suffered another loss 10 months later which only fuelled this need for a second child, not just for myself but for my son.
5 years on still no pregnancy and my relationship with sons dad became very abusive-mentally and emotionally, we had a few physical fights but nothing major! It all came to ahead when my sons dad attempted suicide when I left (he cut his wrists but rang my brother in law who found him in time) this shook me badly and I moved home to my mums. A few months later I met my mow husband and he helped heal the past. My sons dad became a nightmare and I stopped access with solicitors help, and I've not seen him in over 5 yrs!

I experienced my first family death when my step brother commited suicide aged 18 in may 06 which was so hard to deal with, my grandad died in the July.

Me and dh moved in and I felt the broody pangs return and we tried for 3.5 yrs no success, married and that's when it all began to go wrong :(

Dh changed totally and began going out at weekends with a band he joined, I had no suspicions ( you can see where this is going!) I found out I was pregnant 6 weeks after marrying and was thrilled and terrified but dh didn't want to know. It was a mistake! Our relationship suffered and sadly I miscarried a third time and dh went out with the band the same day :( 7 weeks later my beloved grandad died suddenly 23rd december 08.

4 days after his funeral my other step brother was killed in a car crash! :( this completely killed me and my son and my step mum was beside herself and for a long time would talk of joining him.

A week after his funeral I discovered some items from another girl to my husband and my world collapsed. In 12 weeks I'd lost a baby, grandad, step brother and now my husband. Then husband took an overdose and I dragged him to gp's where I found out he had been going for the past 6 months for depression and had tried 5 dif meds for it. Gp arranged for him to be assessed but it took nearly a month and a long battle with mental health who then deemed him fine??!!! Gp arranged for him to see a counsellor which took almost 10 months to begin and he had a few months of fortnightly sessions and to be fair she has given me my husband back. He refuses to disclose anything about what happened and what his therapist has told him so I'm very much in the dark and have no answers or reasons as to his affair and breakdown-I don't even know what he was classed as having so I'm only guessing this.

We seperated for 6 months but I wanted to try again and we are getting on great but I still have moments- I won't bring up the affair but I will get upset/angry and I know that's the reasons why. I feel if he loved me he would respect me enough to give me closure?!

So that's what's happened in the the last 2 yrs! Now what's happening to me is I get panic/anxiety attacks and they are ruining my life. I get very anxious and stressed if I have to go out somewhere or do something, be it popping to town shopping or dentists etc. I began to start with a racing heart beat and feeling v hot and clammy and shaking. My tummy would be in knots and I would need the loo there and then! This was only mild to begin with but now it's so intense it scares me which only fuels the attack.
I got serious food poisoning last April (mid husbands breakdown/leaving home) and after that I became paranoid eating food in public or made by any one else including family.

I attempted to go out for a meal with dh but had to flee after throwing up in the loo and I needed to get home asap to feel safe. Now I can't eat or drink in public as my throat feels it's closing and I get very nauseus. I wanted to see a film in cinema but there were so many ppl I got scared and again fled home within 15 mins and I've not attempted anything like this since-nov last yr.

I'm learning to drive and the attacks I'm getting before each lesson are getting worse but I need to learn for my job (carer) and I suffer greatly with my knees and back.

I'm sorry this is so long winded and blunt as I'm on my phone and trying to give as much info to get help :(

I'm terrified of seeing gp and being given meds after watching dh and what happened to him, i'm terrified the dr will call me a bad parent for my son having all this happen I his life. My son is my utter world and I am so scared something will happen to him. I feel constantly like I'm fighting a battle with life and all it throws at me and I'm sick of being jealous of happy families and think why can't I have some happiness :( xxxxxx