Self-harm

[David_Hurakan]

So I have panic attacks.

They have got better over time, but this week I started a job, its my first paid job. No one there knows about my past problems and I dont want to tell them, I just want to be a normal guy.

But I get very panic-y in the mornings on the way to work, or there, when theres nothing to do.

I get strong feelings of wanting to self-harm. Not to kill myself like most think, But just to take my mind off the panic, and to feel the cut.

I already have scars on my arm, so hate wearing t-shirts when I go out. I dont want more scars, but don't no what to do.

[davey]

My friend used to self harm quite badly, he was rushed to hospital a few times with it. A therapist told him to try the rubber band method which was basically to put a tightish elastic band around the wrist where it is slightly tender and everytime you feel like hurting yourself which usually hurts and hopefully takes the feeling away without risking harm to yourself. That was years ago and touch wood he has never harmed himself since. Gotta be worth a try.

Good luck

[verity]

Hi David

I used to self harm, havnt done so for over 3years now. I have had to distract myself from it, do anyfing else but that! Ive even called Samaritains when I have felt a strong need to self harm. Yes I have used to rubber band method and found it helpful.

Keep resisting you can do it, come in the chat room if you feel the need to hurt yourself get support from us.

Take care
xxx

[Bill]

I think the subject of self harm is often misunderstood because people who haven' experienced it can't understand what would drive someone to do that to themselves. I think even in my case, it was only when I felt compelled to harm myself that I realised the pain people feel.

I know the causes vary and also the reasons but in my case it was purely emotional pain that I felt had no release. I needed a way to relieve my pain and to feel my pain. For me it was a release.

I never harmed myself badly but I do still carry the scars. I think some people feel that sufferers harm to seek attention but I feel that couldn't be further from the truth. Personally, I think most people who self harm actually feel ashamed so they try to hide and disguise it, often meaning they lie how they got injured. I think also it's because alot of people don't understand that the sufferer feels they can't talk to anyone about it so it means the pain they're feeling remains bottled which then causes stress and anxiety.

I think also people who self harm tend to hate themselves and hate themselves for doing it because it makes them "feel" bad.

For me, it was all about relieving emotional pain. I believe that making a cut causes a release of chemicals (I forget which one! dopamine?) in the mind which makes you feel better but the trouble is the feeling doesn't last so you then get caught up in a vicious circle making you cut even more.

As for my own experiences, I felt totally alone with my pressures. I had no one to talk to, no one to turn to and no escape so I decided the only way I could cope was to cut myself. To begin with it would be on my wrists but then I realised people would notice so I moved further up my arm where I could hide them. When I was found out, every knife bar one was removed from the house and I felt under constant watch in case I started again. I therefore turned to a hammer and would hit my hand until it was blue. If anyone said anything I'd just say I banged it.

I'd also turn to booze. I used to think of it as dulling the pain of life but then I realised booze just makes you even more depressed as I then turned to overdoses using my meds and painkillers.

Hard to believe, even for me now that I used to do those things and even harder to believe that no professionals stepped in to actually help or stop me. I can remember them telling me if I felt the urge, make sure I did it privately! Great help a! I was anyway!

The only way I stopped was by helping myself. When I got the urge I'd have to tell myself to resist because the temptation would pass. If I needed to do something, I'd grab a pillow and punch it over and over until the feelings past. The elastic band is a good method to use because you feel the pain but no long term harm is caused. For me, just as you would with anxiety, I'd use distraction techniques. Just find anything to stop me thinking about how I was feeling because once the panicky feeling subsides so does the urge to self harm because you feel more relaxed. I think also boredom is a factor because it's what I call boredom stress. When we're bored we have too much time to think about our feelings and when we do that we focus too much on panicky feeelings making them much worse so finding something to occupy the mind really helps. You could try taking a walk, even just to the loo and back or find a reason to walk around anywhere to relieve the boredom.

I can remember a couple of years ago or so I was in a shop and went to the counter to pay for something. I noticed that the girl who served me had cuts on her arms. I didn't say anything but for the whole journey home it troubled me. I wanted to ask but I just wasn't sure how she would respond but I made a point of going back to see her the following week as I felt that if she was self harming I just had to try and help her a I felt so sad that someone so beautiful might be suffering alone without anyone to turn to. When I got there, I waited until it was quiet and just asked her how she came to get her injuries. She replied with a smile "You know, don't you?". I told her I wanted to help her so I gave her the NMP site address and some other info where she could get help from charities. Unfortunately, she had to serve another customer so although we both wanted to talk further, we couldn't, although she did manage to let me know she was getting professional help which I was pleased about.

A few weeks or so later I was passing the shop so I thought I'd check on her but the shop had closed down and since I never got to know her name or anything more about her, I lost touch. I only hope that wherever she is that she's now keeping safe because I feel every human being with a caring soul is precious and should always be protected from harm, and everyone I've known who has self harmed and suffered from anxiety have been the most loveliest people you could ever wish to have as a friend.

Anyway, I don't know if that's been of any help but you take care of yourselves and remember that people Do understand and that you're Not alone. It IS possible to stop and don't be afraid to talk about it on here because we All want to help others to lead happier lives.:):hugs:

[anthrokid]

Heya,

I understand how you're feeling. Suggestions above are great. I usually start punching up a pillow or do some boxing. Boxing is amazing as a distraction and really good for you too! The rubber band method is also really good, and would you believe that it actually hurts more than cutting!