Jet Stratus
17-06-10, 23:29
I'll be honest...I'm sitting here shaking, on the verge of tears. I am so frustrated I can't think straight. On Tuesday I willed myself into the dentist to get some teeth fixed. I had pain in one tooth that was so unbearable there was no other choice but to go in. I had a root canal and filling. The tooth is not painful any more.
I like my dentist and have had a lot of work done (had a sweet tooth) since 2008. Straight to the point: I'm a hypochondriac with a morbid fear of HIV. Everything in the office is super clean and he's even taken the time to discuss with me the precautions they take. But I cannot stop the "what ifs". Sometimes I can, but I have to try so hard. WHY am I still so afraid? I've discussed it with my psychiatrist, my dentist, my family...but it's always in the back of my head.
I think I know what brought this particular phobia on. In 2006 idle gossip at my work pointed to an employee POSSIBLY having HIV. I freaked out so badly I had a test done, and waiting for the results traumatized me. 10 days! They came back negative but from then on I've been so afraid of being an any situation (even ones where the risk of getting infected is non-existent) where I'll have to go through that again.
So right now, do I think I'm infected? Yes/No. That's what's frustrating as hell. After all the reassurance (and FACTS...with the exception of the one isolated case in Florida in 1991 no one's ever been infected at the dentist!) I am still having the thoughts.
I guess I just need to hear from someone who's experiencing health anxiety. Do you ever feel totally frustrated that you just can't seem to accept when people tell you that you're fine? Any advice for coping with this episode? Thanks in advance. :hugs:
I like my dentist and have had a lot of work done (had a sweet tooth) since 2008. Straight to the point: I'm a hypochondriac with a morbid fear of HIV. Everything in the office is super clean and he's even taken the time to discuss with me the precautions they take. But I cannot stop the "what ifs". Sometimes I can, but I have to try so hard. WHY am I still so afraid? I've discussed it with my psychiatrist, my dentist, my family...but it's always in the back of my head.
I think I know what brought this particular phobia on. In 2006 idle gossip at my work pointed to an employee POSSIBLY having HIV. I freaked out so badly I had a test done, and waiting for the results traumatized me. 10 days! They came back negative but from then on I've been so afraid of being an any situation (even ones where the risk of getting infected is non-existent) where I'll have to go through that again.
So right now, do I think I'm infected? Yes/No. That's what's frustrating as hell. After all the reassurance (and FACTS...with the exception of the one isolated case in Florida in 1991 no one's ever been infected at the dentist!) I am still having the thoughts.
I guess I just need to hear from someone who's experiencing health anxiety. Do you ever feel totally frustrated that you just can't seem to accept when people tell you that you're fine? Any advice for coping with this episode? Thanks in advance. :hugs: