fairyclairy
18-06-10, 18:41
Im so sick of this now.. All day, everyday, im anxious!
My heart races every second of the day and night, i feel constantly sick to my stomach, i think about how anxious i am 24/7, i feel shaky, weak and tired all rolled into one, I feel so drained and hate the fact that every smile or laugh i make is just one big lie..
I hate the fact that iv had CBT, councelling etc and nothing works! I know this is just anxiety.. and i know anxiety can not harm me... but i am still anxious!!
I try to take my mind off it and focus on other things but the feelings just dont go away, i feel so drained every second of the day!
I love my job so much and i dont want to loose it.. iv already gone down part time because of this stupid illness! The people i work with are amazing and know all about my anxiety/phobias/panics etc so surely i should feel relaxed around them.... but nope!
I just dont know what else to do... i try and relax, but then i find that so strange that i have to feel my heart race again because that feeling is normal to me?! Id give anything to feel relaxed and not worry and i do try and tell myself 'theres nothing to worry about' 'im alright' 'panic doesnt harm u' .. but nothing works, and if anything.. it makes it worse because i get angry in the fact that i cant calm myself down!
I worry about everything... every little illness i can get, every feeling my body gives me, whether its a tingly finger or little headache etc... i just cant see an end to it all and im really struggling!
The doctor wanted to put me on medication, but because i have a huge vomit phobia, i looked at the leaflet that comes with the meds and it said you can feel nauseous etc so i wont take them! I am so angry at myself for not being able to control this on my own and i am so angry at the fact that i keep letting myself get so worked up and into a panic state when there really is nothing to worry about!
Im so sorry for the rant, im just really fed up now - i try and be all positive around people and have a laugh and joke at work but inside i feel awful and so lonely.. even though there could be loads of people around me!
Think its just been one of those weeks and im so tired so its all coming out tonight lol.
Has anyone else felt this way or is feeling this way? Constantly, and i mean CONSTANTLY in an anxious state?? I somehow wonder whether il ever relax... my poor heart is working so hard! xx
My heart races every second of the day and night, i feel constantly sick to my stomach, i think about how anxious i am 24/7, i feel shaky, weak and tired all rolled into one, I feel so drained and hate the fact that every smile or laugh i make is just one big lie..
I hate the fact that iv had CBT, councelling etc and nothing works! I know this is just anxiety.. and i know anxiety can not harm me... but i am still anxious!!
I try to take my mind off it and focus on other things but the feelings just dont go away, i feel so drained every second of the day!
I love my job so much and i dont want to loose it.. iv already gone down part time because of this stupid illness! The people i work with are amazing and know all about my anxiety/phobias/panics etc so surely i should feel relaxed around them.... but nope!
I just dont know what else to do... i try and relax, but then i find that so strange that i have to feel my heart race again because that feeling is normal to me?! Id give anything to feel relaxed and not worry and i do try and tell myself 'theres nothing to worry about' 'im alright' 'panic doesnt harm u' .. but nothing works, and if anything.. it makes it worse because i get angry in the fact that i cant calm myself down!
I worry about everything... every little illness i can get, every feeling my body gives me, whether its a tingly finger or little headache etc... i just cant see an end to it all and im really struggling!
The doctor wanted to put me on medication, but because i have a huge vomit phobia, i looked at the leaflet that comes with the meds and it said you can feel nauseous etc so i wont take them! I am so angry at myself for not being able to control this on my own and i am so angry at the fact that i keep letting myself get so worked up and into a panic state when there really is nothing to worry about!
Im so sorry for the rant, im just really fed up now - i try and be all positive around people and have a laugh and joke at work but inside i feel awful and so lonely.. even though there could be loads of people around me!
Think its just been one of those weeks and im so tired so its all coming out tonight lol.
Has anyone else felt this way or is feeling this way? Constantly, and i mean CONSTANTLY in an anxious state?? I somehow wonder whether il ever relax... my poor heart is working so hard! xx