Life is unfair

[natalier]

I just don't understand why life is so unfair!!!

I mean having anxiety and panic attacks is one of the most horrible things I can think of. I hate feeling all anxious and crazy. I have been feeling all anxious today because I keep getting thirds in my university essays. I try so hard and yet others who do it the day before get good grades.

Another thing, is my gran has been slowly dying in pain, from cancer, over two years now. and what about everything else that goes on in the world? It just makes you think.

I'm still young and so want to enjoy life but at the moment I really am not!!! because of these stupid panic attacks and anxious feelings. I even went out to celebrate my 19th birthday on Saturday, and ended up at three, shaking,t throwing up due to a panic attack. ( I don't drink because of the panic attacks so I know that did not bring it on).

So if anyone has any suggestions on how to just leave them in the past it would be much appreciated

[daydreamer]

Hi nat,

are you getting any help with your attacks at the moment, such as therapy or meds? You sounds really down, which is not surprising considering, having anxiety and panic attacks really can leave you feeling like that. Have your Uni got a counselling service? maybe you could drop in and have a chat with them?

[davelee]

it is really unfair,maybe one day it just gets bored and moves on.i pray.

[sad1]

Life can be unfair but the key is trying not to feel sorry for yourself and having negative thoughts (easier said than done I know!). Negative beliefs, or worrying about worrying, add to your anxiety and keep worry going. Have you tried any natural remedies such as exercise and relaxation techniques? Give them a go, they could work wonders for you.

[natalier]

Hey, I am taking citelopram but am coming off it slowly, was at 20mg, now at 10mg and will go down to 5 soon as don't want to rely on it. I did go and see some councerling but now its end of term cant do that till October! It is horrible having them and sometime you just want to end, how horrible that sounds, but you feel so lost and trapped like there is no other way out!!!

[daydreamer]

nat, hope you dont mind me asking, are you coming off your meds because they didnt work or just because you feel you shouldnt rely on them? Have they helped you?

Maybe the withdrawal has made you feel like this and as time passes you will start to feel better, thats what happened to me when I came off my meds the first time. Once they were out of my system I started to feel better but everything else in my life was in a good place then too and I felt totally ready to come off them.

Have you contacted your GP to ask for some therapy? I really think it would benefit you, especially with what you are going through.

It totally sucks when people who do their essays the night before get better marks, that happened to me a lot when I was at uni, but you should try to stop comparing yourself to other people. Getting a third is much better than getting a fail and I am sure that a good few people also failed! To get a third with everything your going through, with your nan and your anxiety, is an achievement in itself. A good tip would be to read through all your feedback and also read the asessment criterias so you know where you can improve for next time and what you have to do to get a higher grade. If its your writing style, then most uni's offer workshops that can help with that.

Are you on your summer holidays now then? You must be looking forward to having some time off :)

[natalier]

Hey,

They didn't seem to be workign too well but I just don't want to rely on them. I think I will see if I can get CBT therapy as that is supposed to be good?! I really hope it will help though.

Thank you for advice about essays!!! I will bear that in mind. Yeah I just finished uni today :D don;t have to go back till October but I have to busy myself now as if I just laze around, I start to think and then get anxiety or more... :S I am also suposed to be going on holiday in August for 3 weeks for my cousins wedding. I am so scared of that incase I get panic attacks which is silly I know but yeah.

I'm glad you started to feel better :D x x

[Bill]

I'm sad to say that life IS unfair, it always has been and always will be and there's absolutely nothing we can do about it other than to learn new cures and "accept" life for it is.

I watched my father suffer 5 years ago and I felt helpless. Now I'm losing my mother in the same way and again I feel helpless. I can only make things as enjoyable as possible for her.

Sometimes we have to stop fighting against life because fighting against life causes stress and tension which leads to anxiety and panics. However, adversity can also make us more determined and stronger so that we always try to improve ourselves so that we don't allow frustration and unfairness of life to hold us back.

If we build pressure on ourselves by not accepting lthe good with the bad, we make ourselves very intense and uptight which will then cause anxiety and panics because our mind is telling us we're overloading ourselves.

In a horse race today a horse was pipped on the line by a nose. The horse can either say it was so unfair to lose in such a way and never run again or it can focus it's negative emotions into determination to beat the horse the next time it races against it.....in which case the other hors would probably say life is unfair when actually it wouldn't be because it should remember it won last time.

The human race has developed through adversity as adversity makes us constantly fight to improve ourselves. Use your frustrations in a positive way so that you come back fighting to win but also learn to accept in life what is beyond your control and your anxiety will then ease.:hugs:

[Belfry1973]

Yep, life is unfair, I've been punishing myself for nearly 30 years over my epilepsy. And I get really fed up when I wake up in the morning really stiff and in pain because of my rheumatoid arthritis, oh and the anxiety to top it off. not to mention the crap that seems to have continually happened through my lifetime.

But theres been no point in doing this, as my counsellor is helping me work through this I'm starting to accept, not beat or forget, accept that this is part of who I am, its what defines me and bugger anyone else who doesnt like it! :roflmao:
She's also made me look at what I've acheived, I have 2 degrees now, two wonderful kids, my own house and a partner that I deserve, rather than someone thats been so bad for me because thats all I thought I deserved!

Look at what you've done and acheived. and be proud of yourself, and thats what matters rather than those who seem to sail through life easily!
(Oh in my experience its those who can write the essays the night before who cant cope with the exams, oh and the people who say they've written them the night before? Very rarely have, they are just trying to give them selves a boost and feel superior!)

[Jabbathehutt]

Yep, life is unfair. I found out the other day that I've got less than two weeks to find another job. I started in February on a four month contract, was given all the reassurance that it was going to be extended until October with the likelihood that it would become permanent, but now, due to expected budget cuts, I'm facing life on the dole. Stress, stress, stress.

Sorry about the moan, needed to get it off my chest.

[Ronny]

Hi,No Life is beautiful.I have food on the table,clean sheets on my bed,my meds help me cope and my dog is still alive,So I will not let myself think that with everything that has happened or happening in my life,that it is unfair,if I thought like that I would be a basket case.Be Positive.
Love Rhonda x

[Bill]

These might help too Rhonda:hugs:.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0AKoQmD3MY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtbnOBCTASg&feature=related wait til the end of this. :hugs:

[RainbowSurfGirl]

Hi everybody,

I'm a newbie here. This is a really great site and there's some really helpful posts.

I sympathise! Life is really unfair, unfortunately. I'm facing redundancy and a struggle to make ends meet because some bankers/rich people decided to play Russian roulette with our money. It's very difficult and frustrating and of course my anxiety loves to paint "end of the world" scenarios where I have no money, am homeless etc. etc. To give myself a break, I use my lunch hour to go out and lie under a tree in the park and look up at the sky (not if it's raining though ;) and the clouds and the birds. A therapist gave me that tip - she said that when you're walking along, if you walk with your head down, you focus on your inner thoughts, but if you look up at the sky, you're forcing your brain to focus on what's going on outside. (There was a bit more to it than that, but you get the gist....:) When she first told me I was a bit sceptical, but I find that it really works for me. I guess it helps that I love photography and I'm always looking around for things that would make a good picture....

As for academic stuff, I've just failed a postgrad course (oops). I worked very hard at it, but just couldn't pass the exam. Sometimes in life things don't work out :shrug: Poppy x

[natalier]

Thank you everyone for you;re kind words, it is much appreciated :D x x x