fed up of trying to distract myself

[linworth]

HI,

Well not a great day today!! had a good day on thursday, woke up yesterday feeling fine, then just had a thought, "what if it comes back" and that was it, "it" gripped me, ruined my day, went swimming, went for lunch, could hardly eat, so wound up by it. So this morning, the dreaded low, i know it follows the anxiety and I WILL have another good day, its just that it gets me down, flapping around everywhere trying not to think about "it", I want my life back and i want it now!!!! sorry had to get that out lol. Boring day today, took my son for his swimming lesson, and now hubby has gone to work, daughter at drama, do i now have to spend the next hours trying to distract myself? i just feel so tired today and i know its from all the adrenalin i used yesterday. My sister has just called round all dressed up going to the races and i thought "its not fair" i want to be all dressed up going somewhere and enjoying it again, i dont want this feeling with me all the time" Right iam going to stop dwelling and go into the garden and do some much needed gardening! thanks for listening lynne x

[MidnightCalm]

I'd love to be able to go and garden but I don't have a garden :( Haha, I'm guessing it would be really therapeutic.
I completely understand everything you just said, sometimes I think WHY should I keep trying to distract myself? I used to be able to just sit around all day, do nothing and feel fine all the while but now I HAVE to distract myself and keep myself occupied? What if I don't want to do anything, what if I like my Saturdays to be full of rest and nothing much going on? I'm not allowed because of the thoughts, I have to keep myself active, it's tiring, I'm either forced to feel something I don't want to feel by just doing nothing or having to force myself to do things I just don't want to do to avoid getting sick.
I want to dress up and go somewhere and enjoy it again, I fully understand, I used to love getting dressed up, I made a point to get everyones attention and now I can't even do that. :(

[Bill]

Hmmm...let's see...

woke up yesterday feeling fine, then just had a thought, "what if it comes back" and that was it, "it" gripped me, ruined my day,

Easily done isn't it. Just one thought when you wake up in the morning can spark your fear causing you to think about it all day, watching for it to turn up without warning.

You then focus on watching it so much that you then build up tension because you feel you're constantly watching for danger, and this tension then builds up so much that it actually creates what you're afraid of appearing...your anxious feelings....could hardly eat, so wound up by it.

Then the next day you wake feeling so drained by your anxiety that you then find this morning, the dreaded low,

This feeling of this constant battle between anxiety and feeling low then makes you feel impatient because you're so fed up with this cycle...I want my life back and i want it now!!!!

So you then feel so frustrated with yourself which also makes you feel low...its just that it gets me down, flapping around everywhere trying not to think about "it"

Then add to that, you are then faced with a quiet day... Boring day today

Being bored then gives you plenty of time to dwell on your frustrations, low mood and being impatient which when...My sister has just called round all dressed up going to the races then triggers thoughts of "its not fair" i want to be all dressed up going somewhere and enjoying it again, i dont want this feeling with me all the time"

However, because of all the adrenalin i used yesterday, you feel drained and just feel so tired today so you don't feel you have any energy left to enjoy yourself which then adds to all your negatives feelings of frustraion etc.

Feels neverending, doesn't it.

One good day then everything goes to pot simply because a thought entered your mind causing you to feel anxious all day which then snowballed into making you feel so low, drained and too tired to do anything.

So...where did it all go wrong? The thought you had. You can't help feeling anxious when you wake so you can't help thinking thoughts that your anxiety is creating but you can learn how to nip your anxiety in the bud so that it doesn't drain you and then make you feel so low and fed up the next day.

Firstly, remember what I said about wiping the slate clean? Yes, you had a good day followed by a bad day but Don't dwell on that bad day. Forget it and move on.

Learn by your experience so that you don't fall into the same trap.

Remain calm. Don't be impatient or you'll add stress and pressure on yourself!

The next time you wake and think this thought..."what if it comes back"...let it go. Don't dwell on it. Don't think about it. Don't tense up to it. Ignore it. Get up...do breakfast...wash etc etc but Don't think about your feelings. Focus on what you need to do in the here and now and Not on the day ahead.

If you nip the thought in the bud so that you're not thinking about it all day, you won't tense up because you're constantly looking for the anxious feelings to return and then you won't be flapping around everywhere trying not to think about "it" or have to spend the next hours trying to distract myself because you won't then feel you Have to do those things to fight against your anxiety.

When we actively flap around and feel we Have to distract ourselves, we're putting up barriers trying to defend ourselves from feeling anxious feelings and this form of fighting then creates tension leading you to not be able to eat and feel drained all day because you've put yourself in a battle.

Let yourself go. Relax! Let the feelings in but Ignore them. Don't tense up to thoughts.

Every day will be a good day when you learn not to tense up to thoughts so that you then don't dwell on anxious feelings. You then won't feel so drained because you'll have let go of your defences which will then make you feel relaxed and less tired enabling you to enjoy yourself.

Stop trying to fight against your thoughts and feelings and they'll then stop draining you making you tired and low.

You've had a bad day...forget it...tomorrow will be a good day and so will every day after that IF you remember how Not to repeat your bad day and remember how you created your good days.:hugs:

[linworth]

Hi Bill
thankyou for the advise, i am just having troubling letting the feelings go, i am reading the claire weekes book at the moment, which mentions all the things you have said, and i am trying to put into practice, but just feel am constantly going round in circles at the moment thinking about how i am feeling, which does drain me and lead to the low mood, i know if i let it all go, i will have good days, its just so irrational how iam feeling, i know that. I will have to learn how to let these feelings float over me and not panic, which leads to the desperate feelings and just go with the flow. I am going to spend the day in the garden with hubby and children, maybe read a book, and do my relaxation sometime today and i will have good moments.

thanks again Bill
have a good day Lynne x

[linworth]

hi Bill

just wanted to say that i have had a great day relaxing in the garden with my sis and family, felt completely normal and chilled out, and when the panics came, just let them go, also one of my sisters friends called round with her child, my stomach churned, but actually enjoyed it in the end, wanted to put it down in writing for future reference ! going to take this day forward with me.

hope you had a good day
take care lynne x

[Bill]

When you have good days, remember how you created them. Remember what you were doing, thinking and feeling so that when you have bad days you think back to happy memories and that in turn will help you ignore anxious feelings.

One other tip......laughter!!! When you feel anxious think or find your favourite funny clip or memory to make you laugh. You'll be amazed how a good laugh helps to relax you. xxx

Try watching this when you feel anxious and see how relaxed you feel afterwards.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dl7C2xh9-c8 :D