New boy saying hello and asking for some support

[Lampmead]

Hello all

I'm a long-time Panic/anxiety sufferer/OCD suffering middle-aged man.

I completed an excellent CBT programme a couple of years ago, which really helped me a great deal - and have managed intermittent anxiety (usually focused on intrusive thoughts or my 'fear' of anxiety symptoms prior to meetings etc) pretty well since.

I'm about to run a workshop for 20 people tomorrow (something I've done before a few times) - but have been having very extreme anxiety about it. This started during the briefing with the client, when I became very self-conscious and could feel myself shaking. Briefing lasted several hours and when I left I was very hungry - had another bout of anxiety on the way home and for the first time in ages felt like I was running away!

I'm now feeling anxious about tomorrow - wondering if I should make an excuse and pull out (and lose the money). At the same time I know that I'll hate myself if I do and that running away isn't the answer.

In short - I'm absolutely petrified - of the symptoms I'll get (loose bowel in morning, shaky, heart-flutters etc).

Would welcome some advice/support/encouragement/tlc!

[nomorepanic]

Hi Lampmead

A huge warm welcome to nmp.

You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.

Best wishes

[vicky23]

hi there!
I feel for you it's a difficult situation and the symptoms are horrible. I'm not in a position to advise whether you should pull out or not because that's ultimately your call of course
but with regards to the physical symptoms if you do go ahead perhaps there's some things you could do to manage those for example
avoiding caffeine and sugary foods which tend to heighten anxiety levels.
try deep breathing exercises which you may have already got in place if you're a long term sufferer
immodium might be an option just to give you that extra reassurance for the day
chamomile tea is good for anxiety levels which you can start drinking as soon as until it's over
There's also a whole list of ways to deal with the symptoms on this site somewhere! I think it's on the left hand side of the page.
whatever you do I hope it goes well, you have obviously dealt with these feelings before and even though they are awful at the time they won't harm you, they're just feelings and they can be overcome. In terms of helping you decide whether to go ahead, doing the meeting could have positive long term effects however in the short term calling it off is obviously easier, think about what it'll feel like afterwards maybe the next day when you've got through it knowing you've overcome and think about the positives you've got out of the day in terms of your career etc think of as many positives that can result from you going through with it and dwell on these rather than the negative (easier said than done
all the best

[Lampmead]

thanks Vicky23

I have my Immodium ready. In truth, I know I have to go ahead - otherwise I'll exacerbate this bout of anxiety/panic/worry.

It's crazy really. I'm not afraid of the workshop - I'm afraid of the way I'll fee before/at beginning (and maybe after) the workshop. Classic 'fear of fear' panic I guess.

Deep breathing sounds a good one. May take my own herbal teas along too.

Thanks for encouragement. I posted here years ago and realise again just how important sharing and finding support is. I was feeling 'alone' with this - I'm not feeling that way anymore.

[JaneC]

:welcome:

I'd be terrified about this too, but you'll feel so much better about yourself afterwards if you do it than if you don't. Have you tried Rescue Remedy? good luck!

[Lampmead]

Jane C

Thanks for your encouragement. I tried rescue remedy once but found the taste unpleasant.

Tried 'Quiet Life' from Boots - maybe a placebo thing but I'm much calmer now. My general experience is that anxiety is often worse in the morning (low blood sugar, needing to go to the loo) - but improves.

I agree that I have to do the workshop - and want to. I just wish I could do it without 'agonising' about what if... (I panic/have palpitations/feel dizzy/can't breathe etc) in advance.

I'm almost certain (based on past experience) that the reality will be far less awful than my imagination paints it in advance.

Thanks for your encouragement.

[StoneMonkey]

Hi Lampmead,

Hopefully getting it out on here has been enough to lessen the anxiety.
A mate of mine gets really faint and can't function when hungry. Could this have been enough to start to unsettle you.
Lots of good advice above.
Just a bit of support from another coping middle age fella.
Good luck tomorrow.

Simon.

[MidnightCalm]

Wishing you the best of luck!
I understand how annoying it is to have the fear of fear, that's mainly where all my anxiety symptoms (which include the ones you've mentioned) stem from. I'm sure everything will be fine, take precautions if you need to but you'll probably find that once you're into it you're already feeling a bit better.
I know from experience that anticipation is my worst enemy, if I didn't anticipate I doubt I'd feel half as bad as I do, I'd probably be anxious but slight anxiety in these situations is something that ALL people have not just us sufferers.
You know it can't harm you, you must already be pretty strong willed if you've managed so well as you said.

[Lampmead]

Firstly - thanks for all posts and encouragement.

Secondly - I did it. Felt anxious going (anticipation is indeed worse) - and occasionally during the event (particularly when everyone was listening as I spoke). Interestingly, anxiety faded slowly but rebuilt once I started thinking 'it's nearly over!'

In future I wonder whether assuming you'll stay longer in a stressful situation is the best strategy.

For anyone who's interested I found a technique that worked quite well on a website (sorry can't refind it) - basically advised characterising your anxiety and anxious thoughts as a cartoon character.

It really helped - everytime I found myself thinking I was going to faint, couldn't breathe etc - I imagined myself in a rabbit suit!!! Even gave myself a name: Harry the hyper-anxious Hare!

Maybe worth a try for others. Hard to take panic so seriously when dressed as a bunny!

[vicky23]

hey well done Harry the hare!!
that's great you got through you should be very proud for pushing through :)

[Veronica H]

:bighug1:Glad you found a way through. I love the cartoon idea. Think I will be tweetiepie next time I have a blip:). :welcome: to NMP Lampmead.

Veronicax

[Lampmead]

Thanks for the support tweetie-pie!