bilbo
22-06-10, 01:47
Hey all, Let me start off by introducing myself.
My name is william, im 22 years old.
Ive always known ive had a certain degree of depression from a young age, and as im getting older it is only becoming more prominent in my day to day life.
No matter who i see, family or friends i see progress. Whether it be with their relationships, or their jobs or children.
My father has always held a decent job, my mother has passed university in her 40's and my younger brother holds down a job and go's to college and finds time for socialising.
I often feel as though my life has no real purpose, i used to be so sure of myself and who i was but the more i think about it the more i realise what a confused young man i really am. I left school at 16 and hopped from one job to another, not one lasting more than 6 months before i snapped and left. I think probably 5 out of 7 - 8 jobs i had i walked out of on the spot with not a penny of savings to fall back on, at times i feel like i wasnt meant for this world.
I had a busy up with my parents about 9 months ago and walked out, headed to my best friends house and being the good friend he is didnt think twice about taking me in. One night i got in, layed down to go to sleep and all of a sudden it was like a light switch got flipped, my heart pounded like it was going to burst out of my chest, i was sweating buckets and i felt like i was going to literally die of a heart attack or something. This happened on a friday night and i couldnt see a doctor till monday, it got so bad that i got my friend to call an ambulance out twice in two days. The paramedics said there was nothing medically wrong with me both times, the dreaded feelings wouldnt subside even for one second. I saw the doctor on the monday and was immediatly diagnosed on the spot with depression and anxiety disorder, and put on citalopram (started on 10mg).
After the doctors I went straight back to my parents as i couldnt bare to be without my family at this point, it wasnt so much a panic attack but an episode, none of the symptons subsided for over a month, and it was nothing less than pure hell. The only reason I didnt end my life was i couldnt do it to my family or friends, at the time that was the only reason i pulled through.
I also had terrible side effects with the citalopram for a few weeks but its been about 5 - 6 months now and although im not 100% right now im 1000% times better off than before, and i am so thankful for that.
This has been a very long post so i wont bore you any longer, i just wanted to let anyone know thats interested that ive experienced pretty much the full force of depression and anxiety and that people are here to help, its very hard for family and friends to understand sometimes.
Please feel free to add to this thread or message me via the site or email, i dont want anyone else to have to feel like they are alone out there because your not. There are people out there to talk to,
Thank you for reading. :)
My name is william, im 22 years old.
Ive always known ive had a certain degree of depression from a young age, and as im getting older it is only becoming more prominent in my day to day life.
No matter who i see, family or friends i see progress. Whether it be with their relationships, or their jobs or children.
My father has always held a decent job, my mother has passed university in her 40's and my younger brother holds down a job and go's to college and finds time for socialising.
I often feel as though my life has no real purpose, i used to be so sure of myself and who i was but the more i think about it the more i realise what a confused young man i really am. I left school at 16 and hopped from one job to another, not one lasting more than 6 months before i snapped and left. I think probably 5 out of 7 - 8 jobs i had i walked out of on the spot with not a penny of savings to fall back on, at times i feel like i wasnt meant for this world.
I had a busy up with my parents about 9 months ago and walked out, headed to my best friends house and being the good friend he is didnt think twice about taking me in. One night i got in, layed down to go to sleep and all of a sudden it was like a light switch got flipped, my heart pounded like it was going to burst out of my chest, i was sweating buckets and i felt like i was going to literally die of a heart attack or something. This happened on a friday night and i couldnt see a doctor till monday, it got so bad that i got my friend to call an ambulance out twice in two days. The paramedics said there was nothing medically wrong with me both times, the dreaded feelings wouldnt subside even for one second. I saw the doctor on the monday and was immediatly diagnosed on the spot with depression and anxiety disorder, and put on citalopram (started on 10mg).
After the doctors I went straight back to my parents as i couldnt bare to be without my family at this point, it wasnt so much a panic attack but an episode, none of the symptons subsided for over a month, and it was nothing less than pure hell. The only reason I didnt end my life was i couldnt do it to my family or friends, at the time that was the only reason i pulled through.
I also had terrible side effects with the citalopram for a few weeks but its been about 5 - 6 months now and although im not 100% right now im 1000% times better off than before, and i am so thankful for that.
This has been a very long post so i wont bore you any longer, i just wanted to let anyone know thats interested that ive experienced pretty much the full force of depression and anxiety and that people are here to help, its very hard for family and friends to understand sometimes.
Please feel free to add to this thread or message me via the site or email, i dont want anyone else to have to feel like they are alone out there because your not. There are people out there to talk to,
Thank you for reading. :)