I'm new here and need help/advice

[smb25]

I hope someone on here can help me, I feel alone, stupid and about to burst into tears (yet again).

I am on Mirtazapine (since March) started on 15mg a night which seemed to work fine, had a relaspe about 6 weeks ago and the doc up dosage to 30mg. After 2 weeks had another major relaspe, majorly anxious 24/7 hands tingling, no appetite etc... went back to docs and was put back down to 15mg as I never felt as bad as I did before. Also given 2mg of Diazepam to take if necessary, did for 2 days and felt fine, back to my normal self.

Now slap bang, 2 weeks later, i feel all anxious again, on edge, no apetite, want to just cry... i have put myself back onto Diazepam but not working so well this time.

Is this normal with Mirtazapine?? my doc nice but really not that understanding, its kind of like she is shruggin her shoulders now...

If I knew this was going away in a few days I think I could cope but i'm terrified it not. I feel stupid and silly and upset.

I do work and am trying to go each day but have been off last couple of days, just can't face it.

I don't know what to do, take more meds, less meds nothing seems ro work for longer than 2 weeks. I just want to feel normal again.

Also my daughter (12 yrs) has started to notice and I don't want this to effect her, i have explained as much as I can but without giving too much info. I am due to get married in 5 weeks and terrified this is going to happen that day, its only a very small wedding (8 guests) so don't think this is the cause.

Help... sorry I now realise how much i have waffled on..
S.

[Vixxy]

Hi there. Im up to the highest dose 45mg of mirtazapine now as it just doesnt seem to make a dent on my anxiety levels. however it does make me feel generally happier and more motivated, so my GP didnt want to take me off of it.
She has decided to put me on a second antidepressant, seroxat, which i now take in the mornings and i must say the combination of the two pills seems to be really helping me to get through this.
I think any of the SSRIs can be used alongside mirtazapine as its not in the same class as them, so go to your GP and ask if this could help you out.

[smb25]

Hi Vixxy and thank you for your reply.

I'm almost feeling like i wished i had never started the Mirtazapine in the first place, I don't think i felt this bad before i ws on them. Prior to Mirtazapine, I tried Citrolpam?? but they were dreadful and didn't like them at all! only took for a week. Thinking of going back to my doc to discuss coming off them completely and just using the Diazepam if needed. What worries me about that is my wedding is so close and messing with meds this close to it. Everything with me seems to work on a 2 week cycle.

Just don't know what to do for the best. Having read some other posts here, Which inspired me to join, i also feel worse in the mornings. Is this because the Mirt is taken at night?? cant take any other time as it makes me drowsy.
S.

[Vixxy]

Hi. I also had a lot of problems with citalopram so swapped to mirtazapine.
I dont think its anything to do with the mirtazapine making mornings worse for you. I think as the day progresses we all learn to deal with the anxiety a little better. In the mornings it almost feels like a reset for me. I take it at night too, and its only if i take it too late that I suffer with a bit of grogginess the next morning.
i got married last year, so I can understand your qualms about messing about with medication. When is the wedding?
If youve been on mirtazapine since march you should have noticed a change in your symptoms for the better. It might be that it just doesnt work for you. However you said you were feeling better and then another relapse, so maybe it is helping you? ADs wont stop those horrid relapses, but they help you bounce back again. If you can stick on them for another few weeks and see if staying on a constant dose still triggers anxiety in a few weeks time.

[mumoftwo]

Hi SMB25

The mirtazapine stopped working for me too. the 15mg was great for a couple of months, then it stopped working so the dr upped it to 30mg which worked for around 2 weeks, then stopped. Im no longer taking it and my pdoc put me on venlafaxine. Ive been on 75mg of it and it wasnt working wither so my pdoc upped it to 150mg, its not working either and ive have anxiety 24/7, and not sleeping so i understand where you are coming from.

I would talk to your dr about changing your meds.

Mumof two

[smb25]

My wedding is on 23rd July and then i'm on honeymoon for 2 weeks (which feels me with dread!) only because I just don't want this to happen while i'm away or on my wedding day. I just feel that i take a step forward and then 1 back. Also, concerned that people around me are just going to get fed up with it (i have no real reason to think they will). I don't think people can understand or relate unless they have suffered it.

Do any of you think this could be due to the reduction in dosage and will it go after a few days. I can't get an appointment with my own doc this week and don't really want to see another and have to go through the whole history x
S.

[mumoftwo]

I would see a dr as soon as you can, even if you have to go through the whole history again. It could be your drop in dose, but then again, they just might not be working for you.

Maybe if you see another dr they might be more understanding than your last one.

I also have 2 daughters, aged 11 & 13 and hiding this from them is the hardest thing ive ever had to do.

Good luck xx

[Danath]

Hi and welcome to NMP

I had a similar experience with mirtazipine, helped me lots for the first month or so then I went right back downhill again, and i was on 60mg at one point! :O mind youthe locum doctor put me up to that and when my own doctor got back he said he'd never have put me on that much.

Diazepam might not be working as well as you might have got a bit tolerant to it, you can get that with meds like diazepam i believe. Try not to take diazepam too often for too long as it can get really addictive really fast, my doctor says if he'd had his way it would never have been licensed and has only prescribed it to me twice, and under duress (and advice from a mental health nurse when i was withdrawing from another med)

Find a doctor whose understanding, and sort out a real plan of action with him/her, they know best, though I do personally feel that some are better than others when it comes to mental health troubles.

hope you feel better soon.

[Bill]

I've copied the following to explain what's going on...

had a relaspe about 6 weeks ago
After 2 weeks had another major relaspe, majorly anxious 24/7 hands tingling, no appetite etc
majorly anxious 24/7 hands tingling, no appetite
i feel all anxious again, on edge, no apetite, want to just cry

Too much stress has been building up causing your anxious symptoms. Why?.....

Because....

I am due to get married in 5 weeks

This stress that created your anxious feelings has now created a new fear.....

terrified this is going to happen that day,

So now you have the stress being created by the wedding causing your anxious feelings which are now making you worry you'll feel too anxious on the day and this thought is now creating additional stress causing you to....
My wedding is on 23rd July and then i'm on honeymoon for 2 weeks (which feels me with dread!) only because I just don't want this to happen while i'm away or on my wedding day........

So now you're also worrying that....people around me are just going to get fed up with it (i have no real reason to think they will). I don't think people can understand or relate unless they have suffered it.

So in other words...

Build up of stress...causing anxious feelings...causing fear happen on day and after...causing more stress...causing more anxious feelings...causing fear that people get fed up...causing more stress...causing yet more anxious feelings....creating cycle of anxiety.

Stop!.... You'll be FINE on the day and it's perfectly natural to feel stressed leading up to your wedding. Look forward to Enjoying the day and the honeymoon and try to stop worrying so much and then these worries WON'T happen.:hugs:xxx

I forgot....nothing to do with your meds other than they might help ease your anxious feelings being caused by the stress of work, the wedding, your fears etc. xxx

[smb25]

Thank you Bill, Danath and everyone.
Bill you have made me see things in a different light, I hadn't really thought of it that way. I have come back to work today, having had to take a Diazepam. I am aware of the consequences of it but am hoping 1 day for a few days will be ok. I really really want to battle my way through this and my plan is to try and come off all meds after my honeymoon and try just natural remedies.
S.x

[Bill]

I'm quite sure there's no harm in taking a small dose of diazepam for a short length of time. It only normally becomes addictive when taken over a long period. Just bear in mind though that I found that diazepam works best taken "as and when". It seems to lose it's effect when taken regularly but also then very difficult to come off. I think it could be that the body gets too used to them.

After the wedding and honeymoon are over and things settle down, so too should the worst of your anxiety symptoms so be patient and you'll find things easier.

There's no right or wrong about taking ad's though because some people find they really help to ease their symptoms, especially during bad periods whereas others feel happier learning how to cope without them. It's a personal choice but sometimes they can be very beneficial in providing that little extra support we need when we feel overstressed just as you're finding at present.

Anxiety can be very devious. It makes us think things that aren't true because it enjoys misleading us to gain control over us.:hugs: