View Full Version : ANXIETY 24/7 please listen
hI,
If suffered from anxiety/depression on and off for 12 years. Ive always beaten it before but this bout has been going on from Jan 09, and the 2 anti depressents ive tried didnt work for me so the dr put me on venlafaxine.
Ive been on venlafaxine 75mg for4 weeks, 2 weeks ago the dr upped it to 150mg. Im feeling no better but the dr said to give it another week to work!!! As you know if you are a sufferer a week is a lifetime.
I cry all the time when im alone and have to "be normal" when my kids come home from school. Im doing all I have learnt in my CBT, im still going to work, cleaning the house, doing the shopping and looking after my kids. Doing all of the above is so hard and exhausting as im not sleeping. The dr told me i could take diazepam for 1 week, but thats all. Im not avoiding any situations, but its taking its toll on me, because even though im doing all of the above im not getting any better. Im also going on holiday next week which is a BIG trigger for me. Im going with my kids and my mum and dad (im a single parent) so there will be no where to hide from the kids im im feeling really low/anxious.
Ive bought a couple of self help books, but they all seem to be about panic attacks. I dont seem to have panic attacks, but my symptoms are racing heart, sweating, dry mouth, no concentration, and general loss of confidence,and depression, but i have this 24/7, it NEVER GOES AWAY. So im reading my books but none of them say about having anxiety 24/7, just how to overcome panic attacks.
I feel im at the end of my rope and im helping myself as much as i can but nothings working for me, and the thought keeps coming into my head that im not going to get better this time.
Please help me
Hi mumoftwo
I so know where you are coming from trying to hid this from your kids, that in itself is a huge stress. My daughter is 12 and is now noticing more than ever, she can't be palmed off with my i've got a headache etc.... Are your parents aware of your situation, they may be able to help explain / divert the kids attention whilst your away. My mum is a great help in this area.
I too am 24/7 sufferer at the moment, there is no "safe place" i can hide. All I am trying to say to myself at the moment is that its a blip and will pass but not sure i really believe it.
S.
xx
Yes my mum and know of my illness and could distract the kids, but at the moment is 24/7 with me and they cant keep them away from me the whole time we are away.
I just have a real feeling of despair and no hope and i cant shake it. This is unusual for me as im a fighter. But this has been going on so long i just cannot be positive anymore as it doesnt seem to get me anywhere.
I just dont know what to do anymore................
Hiya,
Well hopefully you will be able to relax a bit whilst on holiday, your parents can give you a break from the kids.
Are you talking to anybody about how you feel and whats going on? It is posible the medication is messing with your feelings and you do just need to hang on in there until it settles down. Try not to let your feelings overwhelm you. There is always hope for a fighter, wishing you some support.
You take care
martin1976
22-06-10, 15:50
Mumoftwo, I think Andrew has a point with the medication as I've just had my prescription upped from 10mg citalopram to 20mg... And this has knocked me for six as I feel it 24/7 so I can relate totaly there.. From the second I wake and I think oh no not again till trying to sleep at night is reallty hard, I hope it can bring some comfort knowing your not alone :bighug1:lol.
A good book I got from this site.. Claire Weekes, who covers all bases from panic to anxiety, a very helpful read..
Hope all goes well and try to enjoy your break away!!
Martin
Thanks Martin & Andrew,
Im hoping and praying its the meds, but because the other two AD's stopped working for me i have the fear of "what happens if this one doesnt work". I know its the anxiety talking, but im finding it hard to rational.
Just so fed up, and im tired moaning to my friends. One or two close friends listen to me, but they have never been through anxiety or depression so dont really understand. Thats why i come onto these sites, because it really does help listening to others experiences and to know that you are not alone.
They say what doesnt kill you makes you stronger....... but i feel that this illness is killing me slowly, and taken away my confidence and strength,
I will keep on fighting for a while longer. But i dont know how much longer i can go on, its been 18months already
daydreamer
22-06-10, 16:35
Hi mumoftwo,
sorry to hear you have been suffering for so long. Please try and stay positive, Im sure its just a case of the meds taking their time to work. Your doing so well to be able to work, look after your kids, all the shopping, cooking etc.. give yourself some credit for that. What meds have you already been on can I ask? does your GP prescribe them or have you seen a psychiatrist? If not maybe thats something you could consider also.
As for the holiday, im sure that once you get there you will feel a bit more relaxed and then you'll be able to enjoy it. In the meantime maybe you could try something like a relaxation CD? and have you tried bach flower remedies? I use rescue remedy most days.
Aww bless I know exactly ho u feel- started with anxiety last summer I am 36 have 3 kids, work, I ended up having 4 months off work last year. Eventually found an antidepressant that suited me as Citalopram and fluxetine did NOT. Now started having some blips and had to up my dose 3 weeks ago which has knocked me about rotten - some days have literally dragged myself into work, feel so anxious and nervy all day long and so tired even tho I am getting sleep at night. Its so hit and miss getting things right I often feel shit will I ever feel myself again etc etc and Its hard to understand unless u are goin thru it. Talking on here helps though and knowing u are not alone going thru this awful thing. Please feel free to mail me anytime.
Thankyou everyone for your kind replies.
The other meds i tried were prozac (which always worked for me the past 12 years), when they didnt work my dr put me on mirtazapine, this put over 2.5 stone on me!! Then this also stopped working so my gp upped my dose to 30mg, they worked for about 2 weeks then stopped. So now im trying the venlafaxine.
The venlafaxine was prescribed to me by a psychiatrist. I do listen to realaxation cd;s, i practice slow deep breathing....... you name it ive done it. Im just hoping its the meds. And after reading some of the replies it has happened to others, but its soul destroying.
Wow Mumoftwo,
Sounds like your going through hell my heart is broken while reading your plea for help. I truly wish there was something I could do for you. I too have gone through this hell. Mine started back in Jan this year and the anxiety and dep you described sounds exactly what I have gone through. I too have been on Citalopram like others have mentioned from 20 to 30 and now 40. So far I don't feel like it's working all though I m not in the deep lowness anymore. The one med that helped me for sure was Lorazopam (Ativan). It is a fast acting anti Anxiety, truly releaved the pain in my chest within 30 minutes for 12 or so hours. Problem is that it is a tolerance drug which means if you take it everyday you will need to up the dosage therefor run into ydanger of an addiction. I took it evereday for a month and now only take it as needed. But this could truly give you short term relief. Another thing that has given me relief if sweating, when I exersize I also truly getr relief, only take a 30 min jog or speed walk and the anxiety almost disappears. Sweating is the key, releases indorphyns in your brain.
I too haved a 15 year old that I have been trying to keep this from. I finally had to tell him something as he knew I was missing work and there was something was up. so I explained to him in kid terms what was going on, he is 15 so he can could handle a edited version,not sure how old you kids are but maybe it's time to explain something to them as it may help you out? Obviously your call.
I hope you get relief soon, I know you need it and so does your family need for you to have it. My thought's are with you.
Truly Ron
I know this will sound harsh at first but please read on....
I don't actually think you are suffering from an illness and I also feel you're being side-tracked from what's really going on.
To break it down....
You're a single mother trying to bring up your children whilst holding down a job. In other words, you're under enormous pressure just like most single parents who don't get any support.
You also feel alone because you have no partner to support you and no friends to talk to who understand how you're feeling.
All this pressure builds up inside and when it's left bottled with no escape, anxiety results in the form of palpitations causing your sweating etc. It's purely being caused by adrenalin because of the pressure you're feeling but it makes you "feel" ill.
This pressure also then preys on your emotions. You feel alone with no one to share with and these stresses have to find relief so they make you emotional. It helps to cry because it acts as a release.
I also found the following in one of your other posts...
I sweat buckets and feel like throwing up, but usually by early evening im feeling better, but thats because ive no where to go and h=no one to see.
I was off most of last year with anxiety/depression and im back at work now. Its exhausting holding it all together.
Your meds Don't stop working. Pressures build up inside and because they have no release, your anxiety gradually increases making you "feel" the meds have stopped working. It's simply like a volcano. After releasing, the pressures build up again until your anxiety explodes again.
nothings working for me, and the thought keeps coming into my head that im not going to get better this time.
I just have a real feeling of despair and no hope and i cant shake it.
These are the thoughts that are causing your low mood and these thoughts are being created by your constant pressure because it feels neverending.
Im also going on holiday next week which is a BIG trigger for me. Im going with my kids and my mum and dad (im a single parent) so there will be no where to hide from the kids im im feeling really low/anxious.
This is the trigger that's now tipped the balance so that you feel the meds have stopped working. This thought is why you're feeling so "ill".
If you go back to where I've copied..
I sweat buckets and feel like throwing up, but usually by early evening im feeling better, but thats because ive no where to go and h=no one to see.
This proves that every day is an ordeal for you because of the pressures you know you're going to have to face during the day which is also why you feel "better" in the evening. The day is over so you can unwind.
So you see, you have too much pressure to cope with creating your anxious feelings (sweating etc.) with too little support creating your low mood because coping alone with so much pressure would be too much for anyone to have to endure. Added to that, you now have the holiday which has tipped your anxiety over the edge because you feel so afraid of more pressure.
What I feel you really need is respite away from home. Go out more with your friends but share your feelings with a close friend who you feel will understand. Ask your parents to look after the children because you need a break to enjoy yourself.
When I said you're being side-tracked, anxiety makes us "feel" ill when we're not. It's simply stress that causes all the symptoms. Also though, because anxiety makes you feel "ill", it then makes you think the meds are your "cure" so when they appear to stop working you keep searching for other meds when in fact your mind is dwelling on new fears such as the holiday which when combined with your daily stresses makes it feel as if the meds have stopped working.
Sometimes I feel relaxation techniques work best when the fuel causing the flames to burn are put out first because otherwise it's like blowing in the wind. The wind keeps blowing and you can't stop it.
In other words, stop looking for a cure that doesn't exist although the meds will help to ease your symptoms and instead focus on easing the pressures, find a way so you can take time out for YOU to enjoy yourself and find someone to confide in who will support then you'll no longer feel so anxious, stressed, depressed or even "ill" because your mind won't feel under so much daily pressure.:bighug1:
Hi mum of two, please check out the book in my signature, it changed my life! You can read alot of it online for free on google books .
Good luck !
everytime i have a phase i think this is it now im done for but somehow you get through it dont worry..x
Thank you all for your replies.
I had my 3 week holiday and was "ill" for only 4 days of it. I tried not to let it get me down and it passed within 4 days. I took my Claire Weekes book, "self help for your nerves" with me and re read it while I was having a hard time with the symptoms.
I really enjoyed myself and so did my family. I drove all over the island of Lanzarote (my 1st time driving on the wrong side of the road), went out for meals, bbq'd and generally felt like a "normal" holidaymaker.
We got home last night and I awoke this morning with all the anxiety symptoms again. Ive cried for most of the day, due to sheer dissapointment. Im happy in my home with my daughters, yes there is pressure, but who doesnt have pressure whether they are a single parent ot not, and my kids are 11 and 13 so they amuse/take care of themselves.
Im searching for the answers as to why this has happened. I know everyone hates coming home from holidays, but surely to God thats not supposed to trigger anxiety, it just makes you a bit fed up.
Ive been on the 150mg of venlafaxine for 6 weeks now, and going to see my pdoc for a review next Monday.
Ive not eaten anything since breakfast this morning, so im going to force some food down now. I just feel so upset and I know I shouldnt be doing this, but im looking for answers as to why this has happened to me today. The self help for your nerves book is great, but she says you can heal yourself through your thought process and teach yourself not to be scared of the symptoms, Im practising that but its very hard.
I would love any advice. Also im not getting email notifications, that someone has posted on my thread even though ive requested them, anyone know why?
thanks for listening, mumoftwo
:weep:
Hi mumoftwo,
I hope your dr appointment goes well. I just wanted to tell you a bit about my experience with venlafaxine as I dont know all that you are experiencing but when I started taking it I had night sweats, nightmares, random parts of my body would itch and i would scratch the skin off and I would have nausea etc. Initially the anxiety seemed to be eased and I saw the psychiatrist who told me to stick with it but not to increase as the side affects would get worse.
My depression gradually increased I too would cry a lot and felt in a constant state of panic I honestly have never felt so low ever. I got a stomach infection and could keep no food or the tablets down, i then carried on not taking the medication, it has been about 2 months now and my anxiety is bad but I am getting help with it and I can honestly say that the really really bad thoughts and depression has lifted slightly and I have more 'fight' in me to carry on.
I am not trying to say dont take them or change meds or anything but I am saying that some of what you are dealing with maybe side affects or your bodies reaction to it and you are not alone. Make sure you have a good support system of dr's psychiatrist and family around you, it was friends and family in the end that helped me the most.
Big hugs to you. x:bighug1:
jothenurse
24-07-10, 19:31
I know people here frown on using the benzodiazepines, but I take ativan, twice a day, either a .25mg or one time maybe a .5mg. I have been on these for a few months. I did taper off of them (which really was not that hard), but had a lot of anxiety still going on in my life, so am back on them. The anti-depressants I could not handle. Not when I had to get to work every day. I just want you to know that 30 years ago when I had my panic disorder bad that I used Serax three times a day (another benzodiazepine), for quite some time, and then eventually things calmed down and I had no trouble tapering off them. I do not like meds, but my psychiatrist stated that the ativan I am on is a low dose and should give me no trouble when it comes to taper off of them. I know there are some people that take up to 8 mg of Ativan a day. I am usually 1 mg or under that a day. Sometimes you use whatever works for you.
Imagine yourself as a bird flying free with not a care in the world. One day you meet another bird, you fall in love and have a couple of chicks but you are then left to fend for them. They have to be fed and cared for so with them comes "responsibility" on your shoulders alone. Whereas before you were flying freely and enjoying yourself, now you have to think about finding the means to bring food home. However, you carry on coping but you notice yourself feeling anxious and depressed for what feels no reason.
Gradually things begin to feel more of an effort and you start struggling with palpitations. You feel your heart is racing and it frightens you. The more you think about these sensations, the worse they feel and you begin to feel that they're now with you 24 hours a day.
From being a bird flying freely enjoying yourself, you now feel "trapped" and in a "cage" created by these anxious feelings. Even to think about opening the cage door makes you feel anxious and yet, once you've broken free of your cage "within 4 days of being free", you find yourself flying free once more and enjoying yourself just as you used to. All the "responsibilty" and "fear" has been lifted because you're no longer in your cage with time to think about having to cope and how you're feeling.
However, one day you find yourself having to return to our cage. Your wings are clipped and once more you feel trapped in responsibilty and fear. Sitting there on your perch "alone", you find yourself with so much more time to "think" and "dwell" on all your fears and worries. Within a very short time you find yourself again feeling very anxious, tearful and depressed with no feeling of escape from within your cage.
Now picture yourself as "you", your children, your daily life, your holiday and now your return and you'll then see the bird sitting alone once more in her cage with plenty of time to think and dwell on her fears and worries just as she was before she escaped on holiday to feel free and enjoying herself with no time to dwell or think.
It's very easy to say don't think...don't dwell...but not so easy when you feel so afraid with so much time to think within a pressured cage.
Sometimes the better way is to make sure you find time to escape your cage to enjoy yourself in the evenings or on days off so you make friends and have things to look forward to. The more we have to occupy the mind, the less time and less incentive we have to dwell on fears and worries.
Remember how you felt and thought on holiday? You can't be on holiday all the time but you can bring your holiday home with you by making sure you find time to get out and enjoy yourself with friends and family. We all need to find respite from fear and worries.:hugs:
Bill.You post's are wonderfull and make a lot of sense,you are a very good writer,and remind me of a lovely man I met while in Iran last month.....His name is Bill to?
Petra xx:D
Maybe it's just a Bill trait as I've never been to Iran.:D Glad you enjoy my posts. Thank you.:hugs:xxx
mumoftwo you've got too much on your plate somethings gotta give. could you go sick thus giving yourself some space to recover. i was anxious 24/7 while i was working, went sick and the anxiety dropped straight away. all i gotta do now is try and find recovery before returning i aint going back till i have. try it and see what happens health and family come first. good luck
tiddles:)
Bill,
All i can say is you are brill at putting things into perspective and explaining them easily.
I know now that im home im afraid because this is where my anxiety "is". Im going to try and cope with my symptoms and not be afraid of them (its so hard tho) but if i keep on practising maybe it will work?
Mumoftwo
:bighug1:
Tiddles,
I cant go sick as I was off most of last year with anxiety and if i go sick again I go onto half pay which i cannot afford. Sometimes being in work helps, because if i dont go, then its another hurdle to try to get back to work again.
Im just making myself do what i normally do. Its a living nightmare every day. I dont know how im doing it but im making myself do it, but my problem is im not giving myself credit for coping.
has anyone tried cipralex? does anyone recommend it?
Micko,
Cipralex is just like any other ad used for anxiety. They can all help to ease symptoms but they're not a cure.
Tiddles,
I agree that going off sick can provide immediate relief and just like you say, while you're off sick you stil need to use that time productively to determine the causes and to devise a way forward otherwise you then go back to work finding yourself in the same situation as you were before and having to go off sick again. Rather like taking yourself out of a frying pan only to re-enter it with the fuel still burning causing you to fry to a crisp again because you haven't found out how to turn the fuel off. Of course, if the jo is just too stressful so that the fuel can't be turned off, sometimes it's better to find a job that doesn't cook us so thoroughly so that we find it more bearable to cope with the heat.
Also as Mumoftwo says, the other problem of going off sick is that sometimes we can then find it harder to go back because we then have too much time to think so that we then dwell on our worries.
Just my opinion but sometimes I think if it's possible, when we're in a job that is affecting our health, it might work out better for us if we start looking for a new job while we're still working then leave for the new job rather than go off sick. My thinking is that like I said, sitting at home can make our anxiety worse and sometimes just moving to a less stressful job directly can be of more benefit. Also of course you then avoid that tricky situation when applying for another job of the question whether you've ever been ill. Personally, I found that once I went off sick, no matter how many times I tried, I just felt worse each time I went back because the wound was re-opened every time. It was only once I moved jobs that my anxiety eased. Sometimes though it's impossible to avoid going off sick but when we do, we just need to use that time effectively so we don't keep making the same mistake. Just a thought.:shrug:
Mumoftwo,
Something I know you already know but I thought I'd add it here...
I know now that im home im afraid because this is where my anxiety "is". Im going to try and cope with my symptoms and not be afraid of them (its so hard tho) but if i keep on practising maybe it will work?
Don't make a conscious effort in an attempt to ignore your symptoms because if you say to yourself something like "I must ignore how I'm feeling" it means in effect that you are reminding yourself that you Have feelings you're wanting to go away. What this means is that you then start trying to resist the feelings so you then create a barrier causing tension which then re-inforces the feelings.
The best way is to find something interesting and enjoyable to do which helps you to "forget" that you're having anxious feelings. That way you become so absorbed in whatever you're doing that by the time you've finished whatever it is, you'll then suddenly find the feelings have gone without you realising.
What I mean is, you could be feeling really anxious so you say to yourself "I must find something to distract myself" so you then go around looking for some chore left that you've been meaning to sort in the hope that it will stop you thinking about how you're feeling. However, this chore could be something like cleaning around the house or hoovering the living room but because it's a chore, it's mundane and tedious which then means it's not stimulating enough to occupy the mind away from frightening thoughts.
If though, one day you're feeling anxious and you have something you really enjoy doing, you can then decide to do whatever it is such as a crossword, jigsaw puzzle, art, craft etc. This then occupies the mind because it's something you enjoy and therefore something of interest that's stimulating enough to actually have to think about. You then find that not only does the time fly by but by the time you finish you suddenly realise the feelings have gone because the interest was "so interesting" that it helped you to forget all about how anxious you were feeling. This is why no matter how anxious you feel about actually doing something you enjoy such as going for a run, swimming, gardening etc, you should just do it because the benefits are so great in the end.
Remember how to laugh? Well, if you see or hear something that really makes you laugh, you can easily forget how anxious you're feeling because laughing is a great distraction but also great at relaxing us. I just think sometimes that we can get so intense about our fears and worries that we absorb ourselves in them and forget that we can break out of them through natural ways such as laughing. Laugh in the face of fear, they say...well, I find it very effective if we let ourselves really go.
I know I've posted this before but.....see if this works!...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dl7C2xh9-c8 :D:bighug1:
I drove across the island of Lanzarote (my first time driving on the wrong side of the road), continued to eat, and generally bbd seemed normal tourist.
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