I'm a wreck

[miggymoggy]

Hi
My Mum died very suddenly from cancer last year. She was fit and healthy then diagnosed and died within 10 weeks.

Since then, I have been a nervous wreck about my health. I've been to the doctors convinced I'm having a heart attack, they gave me a 24 hour heart monitor but all fine,.

Then if I get a headache I think I'm having a brain tumour and get myself in a total, blind panic.

I've just had a hysterectomy and went back into hospital last week with excrutiating stomach pains. They gave me morphine, so I assumed it was cancer. Then they said they couldn't find anything and would do ultrasound and mRI scan. When they were coming in with the results I could hardly breath, convinced they would say I have weeks to live.

Now they have given me the all clear I'm convinced that my family and friends know that I am dying, and have asked the doctors to lie, so that my last few weeks will be happier.

I am analysing everything they say.

[Vixxy]

Hi there.
Sounds to me like CBT would be really useful for you. Have you tried it?

[kittykat]

Hi there,

I can totally understand how your feeling my mum was diagnosed with bowel cancer and was fit and feeling really healthy with all clear blood tests July 2008 and died not from the cancer but a botched up operation to cure her in the September 2008. When you lose someone close to you it can increase all your feelings of fear and panic, i was on citalopram to help me get over everything but now am feeling that i really need someone to talk everything through with as i have a lot of feelings of guilt, so i would try and see your Gp and explain how your feeling and hopefully they can help you work through everything, it wont be easy though because im still struggling with it nearly 2 years on but its good news that your mri came back clear and the doctors wouldnt lie to you as it would leave them open to all sorts of legal stuff xx

[ScaredCaz]

Hi Miggymoggy

I can so relate to your post i am so sorry for your loss :hugs:

My mam also died suddenly she was also fit and active and she was only 62 she left my sisters house one evening at 5:20pm and i had a phone call 45 mins later to say she had collapsed she had a heart attack and was gone instantly since then i have found it so hard to move on my health being the top of my list which leads me to feel very selfish i miss my mam so much but i spend most of my time thinking about myself and that adds to it all

I have also been to the doctors alot although i havent had many tests apart from blood tests i really do know how you feel i know its hard but try and give yourself tme you have to grieve too which is exhausting i am sure with all your tests you are fine and it is highly unlikely the docs would have told your family you were ill and told them not to tell you just try and realise they worry and care about you and want to support you and i am sure you will ease yourself through this

In the meantime keep checking in here there are some really lovely people here with alot more experience of this than me i just had to reply because i lost my mam too and i know your pain hope this helps a little

All the best

Caz