Eliza
27-06-10, 09:55
Hi everyone. This is all a bit of a surprise - I've been on forums before but I never thought I'd be tempted by one for anxiety and panic. The fact is though - I really need to be. I've always been a worrier and suffered from extreme anxiety in challenging situations such as interviews etc. Last week, however, it developed in to something else. I’d been a way for the night with some friends and had too much to drink on the Sat but by the Monday, I was feeling like I couldn't go on, the panic and anxiety was so bad. In desperation I emailed my psychologist who I am seeing for lol self-esteem issues. I then somehow dragged myself into work, putting on a brave face as I dropped my 12 year old daughter off at her friends. (Prop one of the hardest things i have had to do!) I went to work. I am a deputy head and went to explain to my head that i really wasn't feeling well - not because I wanted to go home, but because i was scared I was bout to have a break down, but she took one look at me and told me to go home - which I did. I felt terrible. My work ethics are very strong and i felt bad that this had possibly happened due to the weekend. The thing is though; the anxiety is still present a week later. I'm struggling to breath, feel winded, my mind is racing with stupid thoughts, you know... I went to seem my psychologist yesterday and I usually quite enjoy the sessions but I was in such a state, i couldn't look at him, barely speak, I felt stupid! My worry is, and I don't know whether anyone can help me with this, have I now taken my anxiety to a new level? Now this has happened, am I going to be more susceptible to anxiety/panic attacks? The doctor has put me trazadone and I feel spaced out as well which doesn't help. I stopped taking it as I felt out of control but he's insisted I give it two weeks. I'm scared as my job requires me speak in public - I daren't in case I can't. I love to run but can't breathe. My husband is worried these are the warning signs of an impending breakdown. Is he right? It's awful. Sorry it's long. Eliza x