It's all a bit of a shock!

[Eliza]

Hi everyone. This is all a bit of a surprise - I've been on forums before but I never thought I'd be tempted by one for anxiety and panic. The fact is though - I really need to be. I've always been a worrier and suffered from extreme anxiety in challenging situations such as interviews etc. Last week, however, it developed in to something else. I’d been a way for the night with some friends and had too much to drink on the Sat but by the Monday, I was feeling like I couldn't go on, the panic and anxiety was so bad. In desperation I emailed my psychologist who I am seeing for lol self-esteem issues. I then somehow dragged myself into work, putting on a brave face as I dropped my 12 year old daughter off at her friends. (Prop one of the hardest things i have had to do!) I went to work. I am a deputy head and went to explain to my head that i really wasn't feeling well - not because I wanted to go home, but because i was scared I was bout to have a break down, but she took one look at me and told me to go home - which I did. I felt terrible. My work ethics are very strong and i felt bad that this had possibly happened due to the weekend. The thing is though; the anxiety is still present a week later. I'm struggling to breath, feel winded, my mind is racing with stupid thoughts, you know... I went to seem my psychologist yesterday and I usually quite enjoy the sessions but I was in such a state, i couldn't look at him, barely speak, I felt stupid! My worry is, and I don't know whether anyone can help me with this, have I now taken my anxiety to a new level? Now this has happened, am I going to be more susceptible to anxiety/panic attacks? The doctor has put me trazadone and I feel spaced out as well which doesn't help. I stopped taking it as I felt out of control but he's insisted I give it two weeks. I'm scared as my job requires me speak in public - I daren't in case I can't. I love to run but can't breathe. My husband is worried these are the warning signs of an impending breakdown. Is he right? It's awful. Sorry it's long. Eliza x

[Typer]

Hi there Eliza,

Sorry to read that you are feeling so anxious.

Just wondered about a couple of things:

You say have been seeing the psychologist for self esteem issues. During sessions and while working on those issues, have you and he talked about things that have happened to you in the past? If so, would these things be emotionally upsetting?

The reason I ask is that therapy of any kind can evoke and unlock all sorts of old emotions; ones that have been tucked away for a long time. Unspent anger for example can go inside and return as anxiety. Not that I am suggesting this is the case for you.


Sometimes when powerful, old emotions are unlocked, its like a flooding, that is it overwhelms. This is often a sign to the therapist to take it very slowly.

These are just my opinions.


The thing with anxiety and as you say: "struggling to breath, feel winded, my mind is racing with stupid thoughts, you know"...is that it can take hold unless you take hold of it.

Distraction from worrying thoughts, breathing in and out into a paper bag for a few minutes, or following audio or DVD tapes on meditation breathing and general relaxation can cut into the cycle that has begun. Its as though anxiety leads to fear, which leads to anxiety. You end up in a circle of anxiety. Sometimes you can talk yourself down from an attack just by soothing yourself.


Please if you have not read this book, buy it and read every comforting and hope filled word.

Essential Help for your Nerves - Dr. Claire Weeks

I think the book is for sale on this site - not sure so check out the shop

[Eliza]

Thank you for your reply. I think perhaps you are right. There are issues that I am discussing in therapy and due to this, have become more real and present. I think I am becoming anxious because I can't bury my head in the sand anymore and may have to confront these issues sometime soon. And that's a scary thought!

[Typer]

I see, well then it may be that you could take it slowly. Therapy can make a person feel worse before they begin to feel better.

Freud had two pictures on his desk...one was a happy man, and one was the same man looking sad..the sad picture was the man having therapy. In a way therapy can be cathartic and let out emotions that have been tucked away but, taking it slowly is good and resting from tough emotional sessions is good.

Perhaps you could not talk because you needed to gather yourself, your emotions and your thoughts. Wishing you well.