Time to ditch the pills?

[Gordon64]

Hi

This is therapy related so bear with me.

I am on the anti-dep merry go round at the moment-been on them for many years trying to find one that works for me at the moment.

Firstly let me say I know they are vital for so many on this website and I am not knocking them in any way-I see my GP again today and will probably end up on something else no doubt.

But I have been undertaking CBT (helpful but only when I'm not REALLY down) and counselling (More helpful) and I am getting to a stage in my life where I feel it may be time to stand on my own two feet without the tablets.

Facing life head on is going to be difficult-I am divorced and live on my own though I see my two children regularly-I also have many issues as we all do. But what else am I doing counselling etc.. for if it is not to work out my own path in life and accept myself and my situation as it is.

I am lucky to have a few friends still (I include NMP posters in that) and they all have different opinions-some pro-pill, some anti, but all well meaning in their own way. But it is only me who can decide which way to go.

The pros as I see it are letting my emotions run free (could also be one of the cons!!), being more alert and less lethargic with my children, not having all the dreaded side effects of AD meds and many others.

Flip side of coin is that I fear "crashing", well actually that's about it really though I suppose facing up to things fully without medicinal aid would be in there too.

I am aware I have posted a lot to the site recently but it really helps me to get it all out and there is a lot of wisdom out there-any experiences from any of you who have been on the AD bandwagon and managed to come off would be useful.

My dear father who I miss every day was a depressive who spent his life on medication-he obviously had his own demons but belonged to that generation who "just didn't talk about these things" and it was only on his death we discovered the seroxat and valium bottles.

I guess what I'm saying is I would like to be free of that as a father to my children who have put up with so much from me of late.

I know there is another thread on this running but things I am grateful for?

My health (apart from depression)

My two wonderful kids

My job (imperfect as it is)

My home (bit delapidated but in a nice part of the world)

Being alive

Thanks for reading my rantings-may you all find the peace you are looking for however you do it

Gordon

[ElizabethJane]

Dear Gordon I have replied to you on your mirtazapine thread. I will tell you a little about myself. I am forty eight years old and I suffer from severe recurrent depression and anxiety which is controlled very well by drugs namely lithium, and mirtazapine. During my early adult life I had several hospital admissions and and many different therapies. All have played their part in making me who I am today. None have 'cured' me and regretably I am emotionally scarred from events in my past and things that I have seen that I should not have seen. Today I enjoy relative stability. I have had no hospital admissions since 1993 although it has got pretty close at times. I am aware of my illness and I am aware of drugs and their place in it. I also see a GP who practices hypnotherapy and my GP once a month. I just don't think that you can ditch the drugs in favour of therapy unless you are in hospital or a therapeutic community. There you would get the support to live without drugs.I have had experience of this. Gradually decreasing the drugs when you are well enough to do so would be the way foward. Unless you have private medical insurance and can see your therapist every day from what you have shared about yourself then I think that your medication is a necessary part of your recovery. If you can start therapy and as a long term goal come off the medication all well and good. Just don't throw away your crutches before you can walk. EJ.

[Gordon64]

EJ

Have responded to you in my mirt thread but once again thanks for your advice and for sharing some of your story. You have obviously been through a lot and I know you speak from experience-I am 3 years younger than yourself and have had a few knocks along the way but am lucky enough never to have had to go to hospital. I see peoples experiences on here and it is clear to me depression is a relative thing as there are many who have had far worse experiences than me but it is the end result that matters which is the onset into the deepening spiral of depression.

Guess I am just looking for the answers as we all are but take on board your comment about not running before I can walk-ultimate goal is to be pill free but at the moment I'll go with my GP.

G

[Baggs]

I have been off meds for 3 weeks and so far so good. All the best. Baggs.

[Kerry B]

Hi Baggs

Glad to hear you are doing well with no meds.

Best wishes Kerry x

[Gordon64]

Thanks Baggs

I would really like to be pill free-I feel I could get so much more from life without them but have become dependent on them I think. I may have to accept them for a while longer but am determined to have the courage to go without them one day (sooner than later hopefully)

Thanks for the kind words of support

G