So low, lost and scared :( :( :(

[CJA09]

I've had enough of feeling so low, controlled and trapped by my anxiety. I'm 27 years old, have a beautiful flat that I can't live in because I don't like being alone so I live with my parents. My younger brother moved out a couple of months ago and I miss him terribly. I have a few close friends and a bf. Feel like he puts up with me. How can I ever have a "normal" life, marriage, children a happy family life that I've always dreamed of? I still feel like a scared pathetic little girl! I just want to be free from this, normal and happy is that too much to ask... :(

[YvonneBelle]

No, not too much to ask, and age is no barrier to these feelings either. I'm in my 40's and sometimes feel alone... lost and asking myself the same questions as you.

Where we differ is that I choose to be alone and relish independence (but, I do still want a loving r'ship... etc.)

It's normal to sometimes feel trapped by anxiety or depression - but the thing is we are free to choose our thoughts. It just takes a lot more effort and practice when we are feeling low and negative thoughts seem to take over.

I sometimes try to visualise myself sitting in my own mind with the windows wide open and fresh air blowing through. You are not trapped but I can understand how you feel like that. There is a way out and help to get through it. The imagination is so powerful you can be on a beach, on a horse, in a hot air balloon all in your mind. You visualise food and taste and what you want to eat when you're hungry.

Try visualising yourself happy, confident and laughing. How do you look?

I'm trying these techniques myself - and it works really well if you are a visual thinker. Remember, we all want to be the best we can be. So you will find ways to help yourself (like joining this site). Keep doing things like that and you will get there.

:flowers:

[johansaken]

Im 30 and I cant be alone. being alone triggers my panicanxiety faster and stronger then anything else. And if Im "forced" to be alone for awhile I slowly breakdown. I can relate to you not wanting to be alone. I couldnt talk about this for years, being ashamed of it. Im grown up and should be able to deal with being alone and independent. But I cant.
I can talk about this now, cause I know why.
2 reasons: Panicanxiety - Fear of being alone, losing control, noone to check up on you etc.

Finally got my diagnose - I have Borderline (which makes being alone a big problem)