SonOfPurple
29-06-10, 12:40
And I type the message into this little box here then? Right, here goes...
I'm not the best at online forums - I've used a few before, and it's tended to peter out as I run out of things to say quite quickly. So whilst I'm unlikely to be a frequent or useful part of the community here, I thought I'd give it a rattle and see what sticks. So hello all.
As you can probably gather, I have self-esteem issues which I try and mask in a fog of un-needed blather. I'll probably explain myself in more comprehensive depth as time goes on, but the basic skinny is this: having had very little love and support in my life, and very few friends and confidantes to rely on, I've found myself having to fight a losing battle alone, and I'm not sure if I can cope.
I feel like I've failed at so much - I see other people with their careers and partners and homes and families and realise that my pathetic life does not match up; I often feel I'm of no value to society. And that hurts. I want to be a good guy; I'm often offering love and support to those who need it, and I've spoken out online against things like violence against women and the decline of radio. But whilst there are things I believe in, I lack the social/career position or financial clout to enact any of them, so I just have to sit back and watch the world crumble around me.
Bad news does tend to stick to me - I see something on BBC Red Button text, say, about someone's life, home, business going up the spout and it really sticks with me emotionally; because there isn't a corresponding service sharing positive stories, I take the view that the world is a bad place, and that affects the way I see other people. I get the impression that society is full of evil idiots only out for themselves.
That's why taking part in more online communities is likely to be a good influence - it will show me that there are good, decent people out there that are willing to offer support and respect. I need to calm down and stop taking everything so damn personally - as anyone who's had the misfortune to read my increasingly bitty, twisted Twitter feed would know - and start to realise there are other people in the world who can help me when I stumble or struggle. Maybe I'll find that here, maybe I won't - I'm always wary of experimenting in case it fails; now with all y'all help I may be able to take the leap.
That's enough of this pony for now; over time, should I deign to do so, I'll fill you in with some of the background to my backache - I've been stressed since my schooldays, so there's a lemur-sized lump of material for me to mine for posts - but if there's anything particular you want or need from me, you know how this site works better than I do!
I will head off your likely first question though - yes, the beard is real.
Right then, carry on about your duties...
I'm not the best at online forums - I've used a few before, and it's tended to peter out as I run out of things to say quite quickly. So whilst I'm unlikely to be a frequent or useful part of the community here, I thought I'd give it a rattle and see what sticks. So hello all.
As you can probably gather, I have self-esteem issues which I try and mask in a fog of un-needed blather. I'll probably explain myself in more comprehensive depth as time goes on, but the basic skinny is this: having had very little love and support in my life, and very few friends and confidantes to rely on, I've found myself having to fight a losing battle alone, and I'm not sure if I can cope.
I feel like I've failed at so much - I see other people with their careers and partners and homes and families and realise that my pathetic life does not match up; I often feel I'm of no value to society. And that hurts. I want to be a good guy; I'm often offering love and support to those who need it, and I've spoken out online against things like violence against women and the decline of radio. But whilst there are things I believe in, I lack the social/career position or financial clout to enact any of them, so I just have to sit back and watch the world crumble around me.
Bad news does tend to stick to me - I see something on BBC Red Button text, say, about someone's life, home, business going up the spout and it really sticks with me emotionally; because there isn't a corresponding service sharing positive stories, I take the view that the world is a bad place, and that affects the way I see other people. I get the impression that society is full of evil idiots only out for themselves.
That's why taking part in more online communities is likely to be a good influence - it will show me that there are good, decent people out there that are willing to offer support and respect. I need to calm down and stop taking everything so damn personally - as anyone who's had the misfortune to read my increasingly bitty, twisted Twitter feed would know - and start to realise there are other people in the world who can help me when I stumble or struggle. Maybe I'll find that here, maybe I won't - I'm always wary of experimenting in case it fails; now with all y'all help I may be able to take the leap.
That's enough of this pony for now; over time, should I deign to do so, I'll fill you in with some of the background to my backache - I've been stressed since my schooldays, so there's a lemur-sized lump of material for me to mine for posts - but if there's anything particular you want or need from me, you know how this site works better than I do!
I will head off your likely first question though - yes, the beard is real.
Right then, carry on about your duties...