Hi im new here

[jen2503]

Hello, im a newbie.

I have suffered from health anxiety since my youngest daughter was born nine months ago. its driving me mad!!

every couple of weeks i find something new to panic about. at the moment its floaters in my vision which i have noticed get worse the more anxious i get so the more i think about them the more i see them then the more i worry so i end up convincing myself im going blind! its a viscous circle. last week it was mole cancer. a couple of weeks before that it was brain tumour. its horrible. after a few hours i can calm myself and a day later the panic has gone and then a week or so later its something else.

i hate it! it has got better though. when my daughter was day old it started and for weeks i was trrified of sleeping as i thought i was going to die, i would cry every night. my gp tried to put me on anti depressants for postnatel depression and anxiety but i refused to take them as i knew i wasnt depressed. and now it has got a ltt better. im not crying over anything and the anxiety attacks arent as regular at all but twhen they happen its as though i forget its anxiety and think im dying or something is terribly wrong. its only when i manage to calm myself that i realise i go through it ever other week or so and then i feel stupid and swear to myself that i wont let it effect me next time it happens but it always does!!

i dont want to take pills because i know im a strong person and i can and will overcome it myself, im determined to but its still hard at times. so im hoping being here talking to you lvely people will help me and help you all too i hope.

sorry i seem to have rambled on and this is only my introduction post lol

i hope to speak to you all soon xx

[diane07]

Hi jen2503

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[martin1976]

Hi Jen2503, welcome to NMP, it is awful when you feel like you do and I completely sympathise it is not easy when panicing to convince yourself thats all it is, because you probably think maybe this time it isn't anxiety and it is serious this time, but the fact that you can recognize this means you are already on to a winner.. I commend you on choosing to face this without meds, as I did this when I was in my early 20s, however I had to opt for the meds in my late 20s as I didn't feel strong enough. I hope you find it a little easier when you can relate to others on here, your not on your own..
All the best
Martin

[Veronica H]

:welcome:to NMP Jen. Glad that you have found us.

Veronicax

[jen2503]

Thank you all for your lovely welcome.

I already feel better knowing you are all here. i have days when my anxiety has gone and i can sit here and try to force myself to be anxious about something but if im not in a anxious mood, no amount of forcing it actually makes me anxious! thats how i now know that when i am anxious about something it is just anxiety because the next day i can try to be anxious about the same thing but my mind and common sense wont let me, if that makes sense.

It does anger me sometimes that my mind must be so weak some days to let me or make me worry about silly things when i know i shouldnt be!

i have found the best way for me to deal with an anxious moment or day is to have a bath and tell myslef out loud to ingore the anxiety and then i usually swear at the anxiety telling it to go away (but not that politely lol) that works usually.

i am very lucky that i have a lovely husband of 3 years that helps me through it. hes learnt what level of anxiety im at and how to deal with me. so if im in a light level of anxiety he knows the best thing to do is tell me im being daft and laugh at me (sounds cruel but its what ive told him to do because it helps and makes me laugh!!) and if im in a deep level of anxiety he will cuddle me and make me see sense by asking questions like whats the worse that could happen ect and then whatever answer i give he tells me the odds of it actually happening. so i am lucky not to be alone when it happens but i do sometimes feel a pain when im anxious because i dont want him to have to keep comforting me for something i should be able to control myself!

i think thats why i hate it so much. ive always been so independant and strong and in control yet anxiety makes me feel the complete opposite.

i do feel an awfil lot better now thoug so i know its getting better and each time it happens i feel stronger once ive dealt with it. i find myself swearing at myself to pack it in! even in public sometimes which gets me a few looks lol but it helps so i dont mind!

im so glad i found you guys and im so sorry i seem to have rambled on again! but as my husband is the only one i usually talk to about this i suppose im just so happy i can now talk to you guys too.

xx