Feel like running away!!

[Desprate Dan]

Hi all, really could do with some help right now, i really feel trapped, i feel like running away. Its work i work in a hot noisey enviroment alone for most of the day my job is so boring i struggle to keep my eye's open, basically i watch a machine for 9hrs a day. I think my brain is shutting down because it just isn't getting used enough. I feel trapped like an animal in a cage at the zoo. My boss is putting pressure on me to meet demands, by asking me to work over on weekends. If i refuse i am met with, well i am going to have to see the big boss about me, or if i carnt work they will be stuck, which adds more pressure on me to do it..

[munkeyinblack]

hi dan,
sorry to hear your having tough time at work at the minute. my work are exactly the same so i know how you feel.

Try not to let it get to you too much. Your only capable of doing the work of one person and they cant expect any more than that.

Have you thought about changing jobs?
Maybe you could try puzzle books or sudoku on ur lunch break to try and work ur brain a bit. i also find it relaxes me and akes me more able to cope.

Pm if u need a vent hun , hope you feel better soon
Munkey x

[Desprate Dan]

I hate this feeling of if i don't work over and they dont get the work out it will be all my fault, they are not exactly saying that in so many words but that is how i am made to feel, i hate it and sends my anxiety through the roof, every week i get are you okay for the weekend knowing fine well i hate to dissapoint, or let them down, i don't know how much more i can take. I spend all day with just my thoughts for company the weekend is the only chance i have to escape. I really worried its going to have an unhappy ending. I just feel i need to runnaway before i break down. I have no one to turn too. Any advice please?

[Desprate Dan]

Hi Munkey, thanks for the reply, i am so frightened to look for another job, i dont have much confidence. I am off the week after next but i am already thinking and dreading my return, this constant pressure hanging over me is making me ill. The thing is no matter how many times i've helped them out changed plans at a drop of a hat its still not enough, because the moment i refuse i become an unreasonable person, which then fills me with anger.

[munkeyinblack]

They shouldnt be treating you like that Dan its not fair. Try not to think about it over ur week off as it will only bring you down and by the sound of it you dont need anymore pressure.

Is there anyone else who could cover instead or take some of the overtime off you ? at the end of the day they cant fire you for not doing it as long as you fulfill your contracted hours and do your job properly so try not to stress, far easier said than done i know but we are all here if u need to let off some steam.

Munkey x

[Desprate Dan]

Thanks Munkey your a star. You see i am one of lifes worrier's and i dwell and let things fester i find it so hard to switch off and this is causing me alot of unrest.. My contract says mon-friday one week 6am-2pm and the next week 12-8pm but we work till 9pm that gives us an extra 5hrs a week without the weekend, our contract say's employee's will be expected to work a reasonable amount of overtime. But who decides what is classed as reasonable?? Anyone know?

[munkeyinblack]

your contract looks to me like 5 over 7 days so therefore u r entitled to 2 days off maybe 1 extra day per month but not every week.
with your extra 5 hours you cant be expected to do much more than that hun.

i know what you mean about the worrying! making mountains out on molehills lol i do it all the time, posting on here helps as a reply can give you the assurance its just the anxiety and worry and not the huge problem you thought it was .

let me know how ur getting on

Munkey x

[Brunette]

Hi DD,

Your employers need to state what they consider to be a "reasonable" amount of overtime. Not doing so allows them, quite frankly, to take the p*ss if they so wish.

There is lots off stuff on the web about employment law. It might give you some guidance.

[Desprate Dan]

Thanks again Munkey and Brunette. My employer will not give an answer to what they consider a reasonable amount of overtime because then they will not be able to move the goal posts when it suites them. It really is getting me down and i am sick of the sight of the place. Thanks for letting me let off some steam.. DAN

[munkeyinblack]

Your entitled 2 an answer in writing or you can sue them. even if ud neva got hrough with it an empty threat may just work and make things easier for you. You need to look after number 1

Muneky x

[Chem]

Dan your employers have a legal duty of care towards you. However, you also have a responsibility to make them aware of your difficulties. It is quite reasonable for you to say to them next time you are asked to work overtime that you are finding it very tiring and are becoming anxious because of it. It is also illegal for you to work more hours than your original contract on a regular basis, unless you sign an agreement to do so. Take a look at the two articles in these links:

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Employment/Employees/WorkingHoursAndTimeOff/DG_10028439


http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Employment/Employees/WorkingHoursAndTimeOff/DG_10029426

You don't say if you have an Occupational Health Department or nurse at work. If you do, you should speak to them. Are you in a Union? If so, you could contact them.

[Bill]

Start looking for another job Dan. A job that is more stimulating and satisfying with a boss who will appreciate you for all your admirable qualities and abilities.

You love to help people in need as you've shown in your other posts including when you went abroad. My feeling is that you would really enjoy hands on charity work perhaps with the Red Cross or a similar organisation working with people who are in desperate need of your help and expertise.

They don't deserve you where you are at present Dan. Honestly.:winks:

[Desprate Dan]

Thanks for the info Chem and thanks for the kind words of support Bill. I did have a meeting with my manager and assistant manager awhile back and i thought i had made clear my posistion without going into to much detail. And things were okay for awhile thats until i helped them out because they were stuck, obviously they have misread that and now think because i have helped them out on occaisions i am well enough to do more, which isn't the case at all. I feel very vunerable and fragile. I've probably brought this upon myself by getting them out of a hole in the first place. But they shouldnt rely so much becouse it puts enourmous pressure on me, which i can do without.. Its nice to hear from you Bill its been awhile, i do hope you are keeping well, you are probably right i could do with a new job, i would love to work helping others and but i am so frightened of change, i wish i was more outgoing, but my anxiety traps me and holds me back.

[Bill]

Don't allow fear to hold you back from finding happiness Dan or you could regret it in later life. I would bet you that if you took the risk you'll find yourself in a job much more appreciative of your skills, that you would really enjoy and as a result alot of your anxious feelings would ease. You have it all to gain and nothing to lose as far as I can see Dan.

Dan, I've worked in various jobs. Some were very stressful that I hated. Others I really enjoyed. Whenever I found myself in a job I hated I knew I had to get out of there for the sake of my health and each time I gained freedom, I felt much happier and much less anxious...so start thinking and then start looking for what you think you'll really enjoy and IF or When you see what you fancy, just go for it! What have you got to lose?:winks:

[Desprate Dan]

I know what you say makes perfect sense Bill, it all seems so easy when you see it written down like that, but in reality for me it seems so much more difficult.. I wish i had more courage just like you Bill. I could probably play a good part of the lion in wizard of oz, because just like him i am a coward, scared of my own shadow, and this makes me so unhappy because i can see the path i should be taking, but avoid it, and then forever beat myself up for not taking it.. I dont even no what i am actually frightened of i just am..

[Typer]

Dan, it seems from what you say that they know just how to play into your vulnerable spots. How nasty of them. They obviously know that your confidence is low and you take responsibility even when its not yours.

Have you seen anyone to work on your confidence and self belief. Seems like if you could work on these and get some confidence, you'll be able to deal with this kind of thing and then chose to leave or assert your rights.

Take care,

[cwoz82]

I totally sympathise DD. I have been with my current employers for 2 years and solidly worked my backside off that entire time. Never been thanked or rewarded for staying in for 10 hour days to get work done, only reward was to be trained on other jobs in case they need cover! My team mate however has always coasted along done her 8 hours and refuses to stay in beyond 4PM no matter what needs doing. Recent rounds of vacancies in work, we both applied, she gets a promotion and I don't!
Have you spoken to your employers about your anxiety?
I have always been upfront with my boss about my anxiety and warned him when i've started meds because of potential side effects. I wonder now have they taken this as a sign of weakness from me and think i won't argue back.
While my works have shattered my confidence and made me feel worthless I am looking for new jobs, not only have they taken advantage but i never got thanks for it as i imagine you haven't. Sometimes just a thank you or some recognition goes a long way.
You HAVE TO look after number 1 Dan!
You HAVE TO get out of your situation and once they have hold of you you're doomed to always be taken advantage of.
It's something that seems to come with anxiety is this inate need to please and an inate fear of reprisal if we don't please.
It's hard to fill out applications when you've no confidence as it's all about showing off. Perhaps you could try going through an agency? They will find jobs suitable and when you get an interview will coach you in what to say and do?
If you haven't the confidence i hope you find the strength.
Hold your head high, you MUST think about your health and happiness, you spend half your life in work and you shouldn't be miserable doing it!