can u really recover ?

[bomberbeamish]

IM sick of my life, ive been living with gad and agrophobia for 13 years, yes i have good day some small sucesses , like maybe going a little bit further than half a mile from home,, going to the shop with out the fear. and not waking up so scared about being on my own.

Ive had cbt,, hypno,, meds, councilling,, nothen makes a difference not for more than day anyway.

They have told me thay cant do anymore for me as thay have giving me the tools to work with,, and i do know alot and can advise people and reasure them , but as im doing it im crumbling inside because i cant take it in, i think im special or summit,, people should make way for me and ive special treatment cause the way i am. i know nothen will happen to you , its just feelings and thoughts ect ect. but i cant beleive for myself, ive had enough of living like this,, the fear dont wanna be on my own, but dont just want any one round me just family or my best mate, i have not got the guts to go and just do it,, why would i put my self where i think im going to die. i just dont know how people recover, :huh:

[Shimakora]

Have you read anything from Claire Weekes? She is very good with fears etc. Try one of her books.

[bomberbeamish]

hi, yes i have , i have many many books and was told to stop buying them as it was becoming abit of a problem, they said i had to much information. i print anything i find on the internet as well.

[iwillgetbetter]

Am sorry you are finding things so hard, I'm sure a lot of people on here can relate to what you're feeling, my only advice would be to just keep trying different things, keep on at all the medical professionals to get you help, even if it means changing doctors. I recently found a doctor who was sympathetic and actually listened, it makes such a difference. After trying several anti-depressants in the past with no success, she's put me on a new one for the last 2 weeks and I feel a bit better for the first time in 9 years. All the best, Lucy x

[Desprate Dan]

I real hope you find recovery, it is somewere out there i am sure. Although i am relitivelly new to this i can kind of relate to what you are saying. When i first realised i was ill, like yourself i bought many self help books, cd's etc almost becoming obssesed with learning every thing there was to know about this illness but it seemed the more i learnt the worse i became, i was trying to fight it, to become the winner. Eventually i gave up trying to win and just accepted it as part of me. And you know what once i accepted it instead of fighting it became easier to deal with. So we live along side each other now, yes its with me every day and some days worse than others, but not neally as bad as when i tried fighting it. Could acceptance be the key. Hope your feeling better soon. DD

[bomberbeamish]

yes i know what ya sayin dan, i do agree but people are all ways going on at me to do things and they just wont let me be,, i know very slowly i have got better becuase i used to take diaizpam four or five times aday,, and i only take when needed now,, but no one notices them sort of things. i just dont know how to move on from this.

[simona57]

Hi,

Well, this is quite happening with a lot of people these days. All I can say that try going to new places, and most important do those things first which you feel is difficult or dislike, its definitely going to change your present situation, and you will be more interactive. Hope it makes sense.

:yesyes:

[Bill]

why would i put my self where i think im going to die.

To prove to yourself you won't so that you gain enough self-confidence to show to yourself there's actually nothing to fear other than fear itself which can't actually harm you. That's how therapy works. Panics are like ghosts. When they appear they scare us into thinking we'll die of fright but when we stand there and say "So what?", the ghost disappears because it has no substance and no other weapon to use other than the hope of scaring us to keep us confined. Therapy works when we feel able to say "Boo" back...and then panics run away.....and that's how people recover.:hugs:

[bomberbeamish]

Your so right bill. Im going to write that down.

[Ronster]

BB,

I agree with Bill 100%, I haven't got agrophobia but do have GAD, in a way they are somewhat the same. Perhaps we don't have fear of being in public or incertain places but our GAD fear is more like fear of commitment, fear of large car repairs, social fear etc. I still to this day deal with anxiety on scales from 2 to 5, I haven't had a 8 to 10 in about a month. I have reduced my meds. I think the key was accepting like Desparate Dan mentioned and to have some courage. Perhaps people like you and I weren't taught or had our courage taken away. Like Bill has mentioned make this a process, take small task at a time and face head on. Keep in your head that your logical brain knows you will not get hurt. Kick you fear thought the hell out. Once you have attacked a few small tasks increase the task. No different than an athelete training or a student studying. ONE STEP AT A TIME. You can be guarenteed that if you start this and cointinue your fears will diminish therfore your anxiety will also. Then think what life will be for you, you will eventually feel freedom and that's what you and the rest of us want freedom from this pain!!!!

Please try,

Ron

[Bill]

No different than an athelete training

I was watching a tennis match today and you could almost say that it was decided by just a few key points where winning those points decided the sets and therefore the overall winner.

When the winner was interviewed afterwards he said that in a previous match he was in a similar situation and after winning those points he then gained confidence for this match knowing that he could win them again.

In other words, in those key points in this match, one player feared losing them whereas the eventual winner had self belief that he could win them. The mindset determined who came out victorious.

If you compare this to overcoming fear of panics, if you fear panics, panics will win but if you believe in yourself that you can overcome them, you will, because your belief will give you confidence, and that confidence then defeats them because you'll no longer fear them.:hugs:

[ian2482]

Right, i am going to write a really long winded post but I hope it helps someone :)

I am now 28, but from the age of about 13, i had been plagued with depresion, which manifested into social anxiety and eventually health anxiety. When I was 25, I actually had to be signed off work because my anxiety had got so bad. I was having panic attcks daily, my legs were like jelly just walking across the road, I worried about anything and everyhting no matter how irrational it was, I became agoraphobic and convinced myself that something systemic wsa behind it all.

After spending hours, days, weeks trawling through sites ike this for an answer, eventually I realised that the problem was mental and not physical. It took a long time but I managed to change the way I thought about things, and more importantly managed to start doing things so I stopped thinking so much.

What I have learned is everbody is the same at the end of the day. The people who are famous and loved have no more right to a life than me or you. Confidence is the key to life. I am probably the least confident, and most paranoid, person I know. But the key to becoming confident is faking it. The more you fake it and people think your confident, the more confident you will become. Eventually you will be naturally confident. Sounds easy :(

I had literally had enough of life as little as 3 months ago. I even got to the point where I got drunk out my mind and phoned the samaritans threatening suicide. Turned out to be the best call I ever made.

The next day, I woke up and decided enough was enough. Nobody controls my life but me. I decided I was going to make my mark and be remembered for good things, and not just as the guy who couldn't handle life.

I forced myself to walk to the shop 5 minutes up the road (with agoraphobia, thats hard). I kept going every day until the staff recognised me and eventually I could have a (albeit short lived) conversation with them. Eventually I began to look forward to going to the shop, just to get out of the house and have a 5 min conversation with someone. When you do this, and you speak to different people, it builds your confidence without you even knowing it. You'll end up speaking to them like you've known them for years and it just comes naturally.

I am a thinker by nature, and that is my trouble. I overt-think everything. But I think I have now taught myself to stop this (although I still worry from time to time). My trouble stemmed from worrying too much about what others thought of me. Every time I left the house id worry about what people thought when they saw me, how they thought i acted, if they were talking behind my back etc.

Now, I couldn't care less. I have taught myself to understand that life is what you make of it. Not everybody is going to like me, not everybody is going to love me. Some people may downright hate me. But i'm me. Im living my life the way I want to, doing what I want to do and nobody can stop me.

I am the first to judge a person on how they act when I meet them. A lot of people I dont like are well loved by others. Just because 1 person doesnt like you, doesnt mean the world hates you. The world takes all sorts, and you are one of them.

Please take my advice people, just push yourself that extra bit every day. Ignore what others thin, do what you want to do and find others who are like minded.

Until about 3 months ago, i hadnt left the house apart from compulsory apppointments and visiting my dad. Now I have a full time job, out wih friends most nights, clubbing weekends, DJing (which I gave up years ago), gym member, going to football games, cinema, bowling, ice skating etc. all of which i had thought pointless until lately.

And most importantly - learn how to laugh at yourself. If you say 'OMG im rubbish at this' - theres always someone who says 'no you're not-you're better than me' - and that does your confidence a world of good.

Anyway, im rambling :) This post probaly makes no sense a all but I dont care lol. Just hop someone gets some help from it.

Peace
ian

[bomberbeamish]

great post ian,,, thanks

[bomberbeamish]

o and it does make sense, and well done you must be proud of your self, if only i could step up and do summit about this but im scared,.

[doodah]

Thank you both, Bill and Ian :) Great posts and something for me to think about (and act upon!!!).

Wendy xx