Very worried/Questions about quitting Citalopram

[Ikzai]

Well, hello everybody. I decided to join this forum to ask a few questions and hopefully receive a few answers.

I'm 19 years old and was prescribed 20mg Citalopram for anxiety. Well, the drug seemed to be doing pretty all right for months. You know? Then all the sudden it seemed like my anxiety was going through the roof. I'm still not sure why this is but I assumed it had to do with the Citalopram. It got pretty bad after a night of rolling panic attacks. I just started to feel anxious about anything and me being anxious would lead me to thinking these dumb thoughts that would lead to other thoughts that would make me worried and eventually start to receive panic attacks.

Anyway I decided, ENOUGH! So I quit. Cold turkey. Probably about two weeks ago. I know from what I've read here that it's a bad mistake to do such a thing. But I had no idea of that when I made that decision.

Anyway at first I started feeling a lot better. I was ecstatic.

And then, cut ahead a few days, and... I don't even know what I've been going through. It's been horrible. I've wanted to honestly DIE to get rid of how I was feeling. That was my lowest point (so far). I've been struggling to sleep, to eat. I'll lay in bed and just like, I'll think I'll be having a dream and then all the sudden I'll find myself laying in bed, staring awake at the ceiling. Like there was no transition there. Just I'm dreaming and then next second awake looking at the ceiling.

I have honestly gotten about two hours of sleep for the past two nights. I feel tired, I think. But I've just been laying there. Trying and...well you know. Just trying. No results for the effort.

I have this mad anxiety and these horrible panic attacks and I have this like... electric buzz shock in my head every few hours. I don't know how to explain it and that probably isn't an accurate description. It's pretty bizarre, though. And I've felt SO down. Depressed. Everything I usually enjoy doing just feels pointless. I feel sick. (I think I am sick, though. Not sure if that has anything to do with my citalopram or not)

Anyway I haven't talked to my doctor about it. I plan on it now. But do you guys think I should just start taking my citalopram again? Will it make it better? I really hope it does.

I'm still perplexed about the anxiety I was suffering BEFORE I stopped taking the medicine. Maybe it was just a few flukes.

Anyway. Sorry if this thread just feels like a long rant with no point. I just wanted - needed - to get this off my chest. I can't really talk to anybody I know about it. I don't want to come across as crazy to them or anything. They really wouldn't understand.

So in short:
Should I start taking my citalopram again or should I try and ride this storm out? It's been 2 weeks. I don't know how much longer these awful feelings can last.

also, thanks for reading this, whoever does read this. Typing it out and sharing it really makes me feel better in some weird, psychological way.

small edit: one of my dumb thoughts I just found out was a ******* side effect. Nothing feeling real. It was one of my biggest problems. It made me scared out of my MIND and from there it made me think that I WAS out of my mind which only furthered along the anxiety and panic Oregon Trail.

[jaded jean]

Hi Ikzai.
firstly , welcome to NMP. You will get a lot of support and advice in regards of our own experiences on citalopram. If you read the sticky on the top of the cit page it gives a host of information and what to expect from citalopram. .Regarding your going cold turkey I would get yourself back to your doctor and tell hin/her what you have done, if you have been on the cit for 'months' you may have needed the dosage upping or you might need to change your a/d. if you felt that it was not reigning in the anxiety.
I wish you well. keep posting on here there are lots of us willing to 'listen ' to your problems.
stay strong.:hugs: Jean

[Raindog]

Hi Ikzai,
Again, welcome to NMP. As far as cutting you Cit out cold turkey after taking it for months isn't the best idea usually. When you talk to your doc they'll tell you that it generally takes a week or two as you cut down the dose.

There are side effects to cutting it out, like the anxiety that you're experiencing, which will be increased simply because your body is now trying to adjust to not having the meds in your system. Chances are when you talk to your doc you'll be told to take a reduced dose and keep reducing it for a week or two until they reckon it's safe to stop taking it altogether, so you may wish to just take a half dose for now and see if that helps then work with the doctor to sort out a reasonable time line for your withdrawal from it.

As Jean mentioned, it may also be worth talking with the doc about alternative anti-d's or even an increased dose of Cit if you didn't feel it wasn't working well enough. Read the Citalopram Survival Guide at the top of this section of the forum, PsychoPoet mentions that some people do need a higher dose than 20mg to get the full benefit, but that is something for you to discuss with the doctor.

Better days
Shaun

[Ikzai]

Thanks for the input guys. I've gone back on Citalopram. I still don't feel entirely normal but I'm no longer in constant despair.