Need reassurance

[StressedEric]

Just need to hear reassurance or talk to someone.

Been on and off work for about 4 months because of high anxiety and depersonisation and thought I could go back again this week but in the says leading up to going started to get terrified of going like I've now deveoped a fear of work. Have had a few stressful times in work a good while ago but didn't affect me this bad. Every time I've tried to go back I've only lasted a max of a week before finding it too much and being signed off by the GP.

Plucked up the courage to go last two days but found it difficult even though the days were not that stressful but can't bring myself to go in today feel I cant cope. Told work I am working from home as can't bring myself to go in and terrified to tell them how I'm feeling as even though they have been sympathetic in the past feel that they will lose patience and let me go. Haven't done much work Keep going back upstairs and lying in bed with covers over my head. Can't calm down at all just seem to be getting worse. Keep telling myself I'm being silly and will be ok but it is not working. Haven't even had anything to drink or eat yet as all I can think out is this. :weep:

[Idstain]

Hi Eric, i'm sorry you feel this way :(

have you read any material by Claire Weekes? if so i highly recommend that you do that first off. I know how horrible it can be feeling this way but just know that you can make a full recovery! it just takes a bit of time. With work surely you've earned a few brownie points by going in the last few days so hopefully they'll be pretty understanding.

good luck with it sir.

[StressedEric]

Thanks. I've been feeling up and down (mostly down) since March this year and have posted a lot on NMP about my experiences. I start to feel low when I lose confidence that I will get better. I keep building myself up by reassuring myself I will be ok but find it so so hard to keep battling on, I start to think negatively and that nothing will help and then I just slip back to how I was feeling before. I find it harder to think positive reently as been like this for a long time and that should be getting better by now and can't see me ever recovering.

I will try looking into reading some of Claires work. Have heard about her from other posts about how it has helped them. Still feel very low but will try best to get through the day although finding it very hard.

[phw]

Eric. I am so glad that you have the courage to talk about the way you are feeling! That in itself is a huge step forward. The more you talk the more you will realise that you ARE in control! It just doesn't feel that way.

I have had the same experience over and over again. I had a massive panic attack just this weekend. BUT, I dragged myself out of bed, got showered and dressed and came to work. I had to pluck up the courage to talk to some close friends at work and explain to them what I am going through. You know what? They all amazed me! I thought they wouldn't understand. They did and they are very supportive. I educated them a little more on panic attacks and now, when I jump up and say that I can not breathe or that I am feeling as if I am getting a heart attack, they help me immediatly to calm down and all is over within minutes! I am under no illusion that things may look very big and out of control for you at the moment. Just remember that "What if?" should not even be in your vocab.

God made you stronger than you can ever imagine! People die. That's a fact. Rather than hiding, take a shower, put on some clothes and go walk for 10 minutes. That's all. While you walk, think of all the nice songs you know or picture something good like a holiday. Just give your mind a bit of positive feedback. Do that more and more. You CAN change the way you think. It takes time. Be patient. When you feel like getting into bed, change one small thing. Insted of just lying down, read a book. Later on, don't go to bed but substitute the habit by rather sitting on the sofa. Small steps will get you there!

Thinking of you mate! Hang in there!

[StressedEric]

Feel like I'm losing control again. Sitting in work and shaking, trying to concentrate but got pressure in my head, dizzy, arms are now burning, shaking all over eyes are very blurry and anxiety is higher than ever before. I am a computer programmer so need to be 100% alert but every time I try to solve a issue while programming the panic gets worse. Trying to reassure myself that these are just feelings and it's anxiety and will get better. Terrified to tell anyone. Could manage before but convinced myself I can't. The negative thoughts are repeating more and more. Just want it to end can't cope with this anymore. :weep::weep:

[loulabella]

Hi Eric, I am where you are now... only 2 weeks on 20mg Cit after 3 weeks on 10 and I felt awesome last week and now I am anxious again. Waiting for a call back from my doc about if I need to go to 30? I am also sat here shaking... at least it's nice knowing I am not the only one x x x x

[StressedEric]

Hi Eric, I am where you are now... only 2 weeks on 20mg Cit after 3 weeks on 10 and I felt awesome last week and now I am anxious again. Waiting for a call back from my doc about if I need to go to 30? I am also sat here shaking... at least it's nice knowing I am not the only one x x x x

I shouldn't even be on this site while working but feel needed to send a post before I go mad. I was on 20mg for over 2 months didn't get much effect so have been prescribed 30mg. As I want to increase the dose steadily, have started taking 25mg the last three days and waiting to see if this helps. Hope you feel better soon.

[Sax]

I was on 20mg for over 2 months didn't get much effect so have been prescribed 30mg. As I want to increase the dose steadily, have started taking 25mg the last three days and waiting to see if this helps.

Hey Eric,

Lovely you can come here and express all these thoughts and your not going mad as you can see there are many many people in the same place as you, it feels very lonely and very isolating just because all the people around you look sorted, they will all have issues of some sort and this site you can rest assured many of us can totally get where you are at.
As for increasing meds thats fab you are doing so slowly and I totally recommend coming off Anti Ds asap however, they serve a purpose for a period of time if monitored and so to stabilize if Dr prescribed 30mg I would go up to that! I was on 20mg for a while and did nowt i increased to 40mg which then did kick in a help detach my thoughts from the anx and depression I was experiencing. Don't be shy of increasing if 20mg doing nothing then get what you need always with the view its short term and once you feel better you can think about withdrawal! For now you need to cope day to day and if that means increasing then do so.
:bighug1:Big hug love, you ain't alone xxxx

[StressedEric]

Thanks for your reassurance Sax. Think that since so anxious and suffering also from 100% depersonisation that my brain is overloaded. When I am trying to do any work it's like my brain is telling me "no more" - feels like half my brain has shut down! My work requires a lot of mental concentration and I think in my current state of mind it is nigh on impossible. I get more anxious and trapped that I can't do it and makes the anxiety even worse. Probably why I can't break out of it.

[StressedEric]

Thanks for your reassurance Sax. Think that since so anxious and suffering also from 100% depersonisation that my brain is overloaded. When I am trying to do any work it's like my brain is telling me "no more" - feels like half my brain has shut down! My work requires a lot of mental concentration and I think in my current state of mind it is nigh on impossible. I get more anxious and trapped that I can't do it and makes the anxiety even worse. Probably why I can't break out of it.

I'm also forgetting things like going to make a cup of coffee, boiling the kettle then sitting down forgetting about making the coffee, leaving cupboard doors open, taps on, lights on etc. Also don't feel like I'm "me" like I've changed into a different person, I know this sounds strange but I feel like I am doing things differently like the way I drive, the way I talk to people. This scares me as I think the very long time with high anxiety is changing me as a person and I'm losing my personality. Probably sounds really stange? difficult to explain.

[georgina20]

hi Eric maybe i digging to deep here so please tell me .can you remember how when and why youstarted feeling like this .have to try and get to the routeof the problem .the cits will make you feel a bit better to look at things but please dont go to 30mg i ended up on 40mg not good felt like a zombie .viscous circle when you try and come of them feel worse than i did before i went on them . all of us here will help you i sure we all in the same boat one way or another .hope we can help each other take care georgina20

[Ronster]

Hey Eric,

Few things, If you just started your meds in the last few weeks you may find that it can or will actually intensify all the feelings you've had, anxiety, depression, insomnia. ETC. The brain needs some time to adjust to the added seritonon. This can take 4 to 8 weeks or more. When you increase you dosage the same thing can happen again.I had went from a daily scale of 5 to 8 anxiety to a 10, loss of sleep, loss of work for a month on and off it was pure hell. It sounds like your going through this now.
I have increased from 20 to 30 to 40 over the last 4 weeks and I can't say my anxiety is gone but certainly mangable most days about a 2 to4 on the A-scale. I am thinking of weining down a bit to see how I respond. One of my biggest reliefs has been exercise and acceptance that I will have this on and off all my life and that depending how I react to it and stress will depend how it measures for the day. Thius in it self has lessoned the pain. Another key for me is sleep, I don't sleep through the night so I try try to nap for an hour during the day which really helps also. I'm not convinced the meds will ever take this awy or if I will ever beat it, I have had some counsiling, brerathing exercises, changed my food, stop drinking booze, pot you name it I've done everything you can imagine that would spark up anxiety. I still have it. But managable.
I can tell you from experienc that in order to get my self out of the slump I must do things I enhoy, work, squash, golf, coach baseball, hang with my son. Usully when I settle in for the night after a busy day I feel ok.

Hope this helps you think about what you can do for yourself, bottom line is you will have to help yourself.

I feel for you buddy, I was there.

Ron

[StressedEric]

hi Eric maybe i digging to deep here so please tell me .can you remember how when and why youstarted feeling like this .have to try and get to the routeof the problem .the cits will make you feel a bit better to look at things but please dont go to 30mg i ended up on 40mg not good felt like a zombie .viscous circle when you try and come of them feel worse than i did before i went on them . all of us here will help you i sure we all in the same boat one way or another .hope we can help each other take care georgina20

I've always been a fairly nervious person but coped ok. I did have stress from work but handled it. Earlier in year had a problem with my vision which baffled doctors and consultants. This went on for months and started to get more and anxious and this bought bought on panic attacks as thought I was going blind and was not getting any answers from docs. These got more and more frequent until lost all by emotions which I assume was due to depression? This is when I went to docs and was prescribed cit. The first couple of weeks got no worse and could break out of it occasionally and got my feelings back during these times. Continued to take cit. as thought the effects of it would it would eventually kick in.

After about week 4 of taking it started to get bad depersonalisation, the anxiety still hightened and the panic attacks persisted but stuck with the meds as throught that the it just side effect which would fade away and cit would kick in eventually and help. Started to worry about my health generally and not just on my eyes. Then started to worry about the anxiety symptoms and that I couldn't cope. Was finally diagnosed with bad "dry eye" and thought I would get better then but the anxiety remained.

It's got to the point now where it's got extreemely hard to think positive. Only get very brief periods of feeling just a little bit better before the anxiety takes over and I start thinking negative thoughts again. Feel definietly worse now than when I started to take cit. Had lots of reassurance from NDP posts that the meds will help and to stay positive but feel I'm getting worse not better.

[georgina20]

Hi eric they do take a while to adapt to your body and can make you feel worse to start with . but this will even out but please dont go up more mg . what have they said they can do about you dry eye condition ? georgina 20

[StressedEric]

Hi eric they do take a while to adapt to your body and can make you feel worse to start with . but this will even out but please dont go up more mg . what have they said they can do about you dry eye condition ? georgina 20

Just gave me drops to try and help. My eyes since have got blurry again but think this probably due to the high anxiety. It is almost my third month on cit. so thought I would have levelled out by now?

[georgina20]

hiya do have any hobbies or anything outside work .anxiety can have a great strain on your whole body 2 things breathing i go yoga only once a week very relaxing and also make sure you drink plenty of water its all about control of your mind which i now is easier said than done when you are feeling like sh..! buy a beginers dvd on yoga or breathing correctly .i felt like i was having a panic attack the other day i was in the car with my daughter .took me 10min of breathing eyes closed and it passed .give it ago !

[georgina20]

oh sorry like ronster said food that keeps your sugar levels the same and exercise which im still trying get my head round but i no once i do them it makes mefeel better .yoga stretches your body relaxes you if you work on a computor all day your shoulders back hands fingers all ache .GET RID OF TENSION !

[georgina20]

Hiya Eric how you feeling today ?

[StressedEric]

Hiya Eric how you feeling today ?

Been to docs this morning feeling terrible. Explained how I was feeling and that I felt like I was getting worse. She wants me to come off Cit and try something else so have been told to wean off cit. over the course of just over a week in 5mg steps. I've been signed off work for ANOTHER week which I sense is straining the patience of people in work.

Reading posts on here people recommend coming off very SLOWLY from Cit. especially as I am feeling terrible at the moment but gotta trust the doc and follow her instructions.

Think she wants me to go onto Sertraline which I understand is ANOTHER SSRI. Will see what people have posted on this one. She said SSRIs are the ADs what are prescribed now. Ideally I would like to get thru this now without meds with their side effects and other issues but she must have an idea of what is best by how I'm currently feeling.

[georgina20]

hi Eric side effects aint good cumming off cits but then i came off them to quick myself its a vicous circle you want meds to help ther way you feeling but you don't need the bloody side effects that go with it ! i found is it really me thats feeling this way or is the cits ! have you ever been to see a hypnotheripst nlp qualifations you need to get to the route of problem i think personally tablets may help you calm down .but the problem is still gonna be there .when i left message before i mentioned how important water diet breathing and exercise is that physically will help your body then mentally it will takes time and so much effort i think twice as much effort as anyone else .use your week wisley research about all the things ive mentioned our brains are like computors .we wasnt born with depression anxietys etc so we can change and re educate our brains in different ways !you can always pm me if you want i do hope this helps you can do it !cause if you dont your outlook onlife will be bloody miserable !!!!!no one deserves that !take care Georgina:hugs:

[StressedEric]

hi Eric side effects aint good cumming off cits but then i came off them to quick myself its a vicous circle you want meds to help ther way you feeling but you don't need the bloody side effects that go with it ! i found is it really me thats feeling this way or is the cits ! have you ever been to see a hypnotheripst nlp qualifations you need to get to the route of problem i think personally tablets may help you calm down .but the problem is still gonna be there .when i left message before i mentioned how important water diet breathing and exercise is that physically will help your body then mentally it will takes time and so much effort i think twice as much effort as anyone else .use your week wisley research about all the things ive mentioned our brains are like computors .we wasnt born with depression anxietys etc so we can change and re educate our brains in different ways !you can always pm me if you want i do hope this helps you can do it !cause if you dont your outlook onlife will be bloody miserable !!!!!no one deserves that !take care Georgina:hugs:

Hi Georgina. I must admit maybe I haven't been looking after myself as well as I should in terms of diet and exercise so need to address this. I agree with what you said - I don't know if the Cit or the illness are causing me to feel this way it is so difficult to work this out but you right, it is the underlying problem (or problems) which I need to sort out regardless if taking meds or not. I'll look into the things you suggested I just needed a big kick up the bum so to speak! Thanks.

[georgina20]

hi just taking a break drom cleaning a very messy garage can actually find things now !!!!! glad i could be of some help :) always here at some point my day not bad so far bin keeping busy not felt so tired thank god today can pick up a rowing machine bought from ebay today . no i will feel better when i start exercising more !but everything such a bloody errort although sometimes ithink i feel sorry for myself .its like if your life depended on you would have to bloody do it !so make a deal with you both need a big kick up the bum so to SPEAK!!!!!:D

[StressedEric]

Wow, you def keeping your mind and body active!!! I'm a bit lazy (being a computer geek) so going to try and see if I can be more active.. Had a lads nite out last night and stupidly had a pint of lager after saying that I would cut out alcohol. No more now I think as doesn't help anxiety! :lac: Feeling about the same, the negative thoughts, dizzyness, deperonalisation etc. so it been a real struggle but battled thru it and got up and did some housework and went out for a walk but it was so HOT!! Benen back on 20mg Cit. since Friday (from the 25mg I took for a week). Will follow docs instructions. I've Been drinking lots of water! :)

Football on tv tonight so this a good distraction!. Found some interesting links about Claire Weekes books which other people on NMP have recommended. May give it a whirl and get one. Hope you having a good day.

[georgina20]

hiya hon bad day for me up till about 2 this atfernoon felt like crap .went on the net t seaerch deeper why .interesting answers the chemical in your brain gets messed up serotonin is one of them .website i visited www.humanillnesses.com (http://www.humanillnesses.com) behavoural health in brain once you start to understand that your are not going mad !n theres no other underlying problem retraining your brain getting vits and minerals you need combine that with eating good water n exercise should make a hell of a difference sound easy enough lol !!!!!!!! got start somewhere aint gonna happenover night alot of willpower n effort to overcome the tiredness n the crap days !!! the thing is if you dont feel to bad n you cansee a light at the end of the tunnel having a drink isnt gonna hurt you !cant take everything away we end up like robots lol!anyway enjoy you footy !:)you do sound better :Dtake carex

[StressedEric]

Hi Georgina. Hope you having a good day. Hows the rowing going on the new rowing machine? Was going to post yesterday but was down at parents house to watch the World Cup. Today was ok up until about half an hour ago where started to think about being alone again and this triggered the worrying so feeling pretty down again. God, it's a constant battle! :ohmy: Vision is very blurry today so thinking about that a lot as well.

Planning on reducing to 15mg of Cit. today following GP instructions which will prob make me worse. Still think I'm coming off them too quick though??? Doc said becouase been on it for only 3 months should be ok but not convenced.

Finding the need to continually find distrations hard going, Going to try and do some more housework see if that helps. Take care.:)

[StressedEric]

hiya did wonder whetre you had gone :huh: just be careful with meds they can make you feel like crap reducing them .as for the rowing machine lol not been there yet ! had bad headacheall day , going off now .got lots things to put on ebay n housework galore ahhhhh! trying think positive that im gonna get a few things done at least lol:Debay will distract you get rid of stuff have a good clear out ! n replace if needed with different things change your surroundings !me help you .glad yopu not gone anywhere. be back on here between 6-8 tonight take care

Sorry Been out down to parents house so probably missed you if you went on earlier. Hope you get some good bids for your stuff on ebay and your headache has loosened it's grip! Mite look around the house for junk to sell! I've done a bit of shopping and a bit of things around the house. Got some fruit tea for a change - mite help relax me. After meal tonight felt a bit more spaced out l(more than usual!) like a zombie.. Don't know if this is me reducing dose of Cit but very scary. Started to have 2nd thoughts about reducing them quickly as when on 20mg yesterday felt more in control. Hope it gets better. Battling on!! - we'll get there. Have a gr8 evening :)

[georgina20]

Hiya how you this morning ? stay on 20mg for at least 2weeks make sure your diet improves you dont ave to go mad ! porridge if you like it great breky slice a banana on it slow realising foods are good DONT REACH FOR THE SUGARY CRAP STUFF !!!!!!!!!! will make you feel good for all 10secs then you want more messes up yopu body n mind . trust me !bin there dun tat !what do you have for lunch in work ?
me be on here on n off today next time you on let me no some times you back.take care :)

[StressedEric]

Hi I'm feeling very "spaced out" this morning, already taken 15mg before reading your post. Can't think or focus at all probably bad depersonalisation causing it. Even writing this post is quite hard to do. Thinking now not a good idea to come off completely when not stable! Seeing GP Thursday so will chat to her about it.

Been eating a lot more fruit recently than normal. Had a banana with wheatabix this morning and some melon and a fruit tea! Don't know about lunch yet but prob have something light.

How are you anyway - are you having a good day? I need to do a tidy up in the room where I keep my computer stuff so mite find something to sell on ebay.. See how I feel later. Don't feel like doing anything though as can't think straight at all but will force myself to keep active.

I'm off work all this week as doc didn't want me in work while reducing meds. I'll be back on definiety around 7-8pm tonight. I'm out at a friends Wed afternoon and probably round at parents in evening but will try posting around this time. Take care.:)

[StressedEric]

Hi I'm feeling very "spaced out" this morning, already taken 15mg before reading your post. Can't think or focus at all probably bad depersonalisation causing it. Even writing this post is quite hard to do. Thinking now not a good idea to come off completely when not stable! Seeing GP Thursday so will chat to her about it.

Been eating a lot more fruit recently than normal. Had a banana with wheatabix this morning and some melon and a fruit tea! Don't know about lunch yet but prob have something light.

How are you anyway - are you having a good day? I need to do a tidy up in the room where I keep my computer stuff so mite find something to sell on ebay.. See how I feel later. Don't feel like doing anything though as can't think straight at all but will force myself to keep active.

I'm off work all this week as doc didn't want me in work while reducing meds. I'll be back on definiety around 7-8pm tonight. I'm out at a friends Wed afternoon and probably round at parents in evening but will try posting around this time. Take care.:)

Weird, just had a quick glass of water and it lessened the depersonalisation for a short time. Weird eh? Maybe there's something in drinking lots of water :)

[StressedEric]

My plans seem to change by the minute. Will be a little late (about 9am) on line tonight going to visit my Gran as haven't seen her for a bit. Raining a bit now outside (but think we need it!) :) Going to do some dusting and cleaning now to keep me busy.

Something to consider have you heard of inositol? There has been some interest on NMP about it's benefits in helping with anxiety and its a NATURAL chemical found in the human body. Been looking on-line and Holland and Barrett sell it (but pretty expensive thorugh)! Cu later :)

[georgina20]

tats ok only just raining there bloody hell bin raining all day here!!!!!if i say me be here 9.30 till 10 ave a nice time at u grans :)

[StressedEric]

Hi Georgina, I'm on now and will be for about 1/2hour. Still raining but don't really care tonight as it is cooler and don't need the fan on in the bedroom all night:) Been feeling very weird in the head all day and now what I'll call "numb". Prob me changing cit. dose and it's messin with my head. Mite go back on 20mg like you mentioned if too bad. Shifted thru some computer stuff in afternoon - realised how much useless stuff I have kept over the years! :)

Hope you had a good day even with the rain bucketing down! Gonna be like this where I am for rest of week! I find mornings the worst dragging myself out of bed is a real effort. Sometimes find it hard to constantly find distractions but there's always stuff that needs doing in the house just gotta force myself to do them! :)

Might try that chemical I mentioned earlier - it's natural and I understand it's even ok with ADs. I'll let you know if I go for it. By the way Gran is very well thanks.

[StressedEric]

Hi Georgina, I'm on now and will be for about 1/2hour. Still raining but don't really care tonight as it is cooler and don't need the fan on in the bedroom all night:) Been feeling very weird in the head all day and now what I'll call "numb". Prob me changing cit. dose and it's messin with my head. Mite go back on 20mg like you mentioned if too bad. Shifted thru some computer stuff in afternoon - realised how much useless stuff I have kept over the years! :)

Hope you had a good day even with the rain bucketing down! Gonna be like this where I am for rest of week! I find mornings the worst dragging myself out of bed is a real effort. Sometimes find it hard to constantly find distractions but there's always stuff that needs doing in the house just gotta force myself to do them! :)

Might try that chemical I mentioned earlier - it's natural and I understand it's even ok with ADs. I'll let you know if I go for it. By the way Gran is very well thanks.

Also find that fruit tea is very refreshing. Been having one before going to bed while watching tv and seems to relax me. Maybe try it? How are you finding the tiredness today- I sometimes have a couple of cups of half in half coffee during the day (a bit of regular coffee + decaf) just to get me thru the day.

[georgina20]

no dizziness now which is a relief the yoga class i go to well i havnt been for 2weeks there really into healthy things theres something called noni juice not that cheap but they swear by it gona tryn take that for a month seeif that kick starts me back to normal also me in a bad routine but will look into the other thing you mentioned .aprt from taking my daughter to the train station at 5 in the morning which i have to do .n im sure thats the key as well when you have to do something .you visited you gran you parents just flicking from here to ebay so be back every 5 min

[StressedEric]

no dizziness now which is a relief the yoga class i go to well i havnt been for 2weeks there really into healthy things theres something called noni juice not that cheap but they swear by it gona tryn take that for a month seeif that kick starts me back to normal also me in a bad routine but will look into the other thing you mentioned .aprt from taking my daughter to the train station at 5 in the morning which i have to do .n im sure thats the key as well when you have to do something .you visited you gran you parents

Glad your dizzyness cleared up. Yeah, I would try the noni-juice and see how it goes - haven't heard of it before and what it tastes like tho but if it works great!! :). I'm up for alternative remedies which may help. Really feel for you having to get up at 5am each morning! I've been having lie ins mid-morn but know it just means I feel less energenic in the day so will make more of an effort to get up earlier!

Mite pop into town and get some of that inositol from Holland and Barretts tomorrow.

[georgina20]

so whats living in wales like only ever went there when i was a kid ! you ever been london

[georgina20]

ah noni juice all natural .i do buy smoothies mix half n half then top up with water so doesnt hiit the body system to strong lol try that mid day .begining to think mines just got into a bad routine

[StressedEric]

Haven't been to London for many, many years ago while still in school :ohmy: but have been meaning to go sometime and have tried to persuade my brother to go away for a long weekend as would be a great short break. Will ask him again when he comes back from hol.

Living up here in Wales is ok, lots of nice countryside practically on the doorstep (lots of sheep as well) :D, I'm near a town tho not right out in the country and luckily have my parents and brother living nearby. How is it where you are?

[georgina20]

ii live in a town but a quite road well apart from us living there lol love the countryside

[georgina20]

got a nutty mental dog that doesnt like other dogs tolerates the cat just

[georgina20]

how did you ever get so anxous must started from somwhere

[StressedEric]

Takes me a while to post as I keep reading over what I wrote :D I'll have to try pm'ing a pic of the views of the countryside near here sometime. I'm gonna sign off in a min. but will be back on tomorrow between 11-12pm so catch you then. take care :)

[StressedEric]

how did you ever get so anxous must started from somwhere

Think our posts are getting out of sync as read your next post after I posted my last one :) Yeah, I've always been a nervous person and get stressed about things that other people may just shrug off but it started to built up over a long time due to pressures at work. Then had problems with my house on top of this and the long standing problem with my eyes sorta was the limit. Started worrying about every symptom and health problem I got and it just snowballed.

[georgina20]

pressure at work any one would worry about

[StressedEric]

pressure at work any one would worry about

I was working all hours weekends and thru breaks etc. Had to maintain a complete lab computer system on my own (as everyone else on the team had left) while in a team developing it's replacement so had two sets of managers fighting for me. Left that job and jumped straight into a new programming job which had new pressures. Didn't realise how much it was afecting me at first but everyone around me noticed as got incresingly irritated and stressed. The work alone I could just about cope with. I know it sounds really trivial compared to other more stressful situations but with the other problems it just got too much for me.

[georgina20]

me gonna go bed nw cause me done such alot today:roflmao:oh got iron my daughter trousers that ive had all day to do !!!!!!!!!hope ypu get a good nite sleep tomorrow hopefully be better day for you n me :yesyes:nite honx

[georgina20]

avent gone yet i would say thats bloody stressful shouldnt under estimate how much you had to take on .you got any hobbies

[StressedEric]

stress can make your eyes worse? is it going to correct itself

I've read up about the effects of stress on eyesight this but my corneas have like leasions on them which the eye consultant I saw said MAY have been caused by over dry eyes. Going back to consultant later this month for a review.

[georgina20]

if you still on line me just gonna iron the trousers be back in 10min

[StressedEric]

avent gone yet i would say thats bloody stressful shouldnt under estimate how much you had to take on .you got any hobbies

No hobbies really (except computers) :) but working on that. Started to play electric guitar ages ago so may dust the guitar off and take that up and def. gonna get out the house more as a start!

[StressedEric]

me gonna go bed nw cause me done such alot today:roflmao:oh got iron my daughter trousers that ive had all day to do !!!!!!!!!hope ypu get a good nite sleep tomorrow hopefully be better day for you n me :yesyes:nite honx

Think gonna sign off myself now feeling a bit knackered now and my eyes are starting to sting a bit :) sleep is a good tonic but will try and get up earlier! Hope you have a good kip as well after doing all that ironing! Those better days will def come for both of us. We;ll get there! nite nite:D

[georgina20]

nite nite :)

[georgina20]

good morning how you ?me have no dizzy head this morning :yesyes:gona get my self in that shower need to get some fruit etc .dont wanna be long outside makes me edgy.are you still taking 15mg .me was looking up about dry eye one bit said adepressents not help .give me several different times you gonna be on here .hoefully catch you on one of them:winks:

[StressedEric]

good morning how you ?me have no dizzy head this morning :yesyes:gona get my self in that shower need to get some fruit etc .dont wanna be long outside makes me edgy.are you still taking 15mg .me was looking up about dry eye one bit said adepressents not help .give me several different times you gonna be on here .hoefully catch you on one of them:winks:

Hi, hope you had a good nights sleep. Brill news that your dizzyness has gone today,:yahoo: def makes it easier to get thinks done with a clear head :) Sorry but gone back up to 20mg - didn't feel too good in the head even though only on 15mg for 2 days. Maybe I'm panicing(!) and should've stuck with 15mg a bit longer instead of going backwards - know I shouldn't mess with my dose all the time as imagine will mess you up! Think need to level out a bit as head all over the place! Let me know how the juice goes!

On for a very short time now but will be back on around 7-8 tonight if ok with you? Will try and keep this regular so at least we'll be here at same time :) Going out this afternoon to do some shopping and visiting an old friend. Going to sort out part time at work next week. Not sure which days I will be working yet but on these days I'll try to post during lunch about 12-1pm. Don't realy want to lose my job so gotta make an effort. Catch you later.

[georgina20]

hiya hon ,went back to sleep annoyed with myself thats just being lazy n i missed your thread :mad: hope you nice time meeting up with old friend .going part time good idea :) catch u about 8 ave to get dinner ect done .sorry used to texin n shortin words down take care:bighug1:

[StressedEric]

hi hon going out now be bak by 10 so hopefully catch you here then wana no how u day has been take care:)

Ok cu around 10.:)

[StressedEric]

hi hon going out now be bak by 10 so hopefully catch you here then wana no how u day has been take care:)

Hi, I'm back on now until about 11pm would stay later but got early GP appointment tomorrow :)

[StressedEric]

Howz your day been? Did you enhoy the juice - just going on what I heard about some health drinks is that they don't taste very nice?? or is this one ok? I didn't manage to get into town to Holland and Baretts so maybe tomorrow. I'm really liking this fruit tea although prob got no benefits except relaxing me, strange cos I didn't used to like it :wacko: I buy the twinings ones (spelling?) quite a few to choose from. Hope you still drinking lots of water as well!

Been more spaced out again all day and had a bit of head pressure earlier but managed push it to back of mind as been out all afternoon at friends house. Did find I was forgetting what I was talking about sometimes which troubled me. He lives alone and very into walking and walks about 1-2 hours a day! Wish I had that commitment! Mite try walking around the local park first as can't walk that far cos get sore feet easily! Very tired tonight though. Think I'll stick to 20mg for a bit longer until I am a bit more stable. Seeing doc tomorrow - she prob wont b hapy about me messing with her instructions but hey its my body! :)

You tried omega 3 supplements? You can get them in all supermarkets I've been taking them 4 a while now as I read somewhere they can help with anxiety/depression? (as well as keep joints supple). Mentioned this at chemists when first bought them but they don't think there is any medical proof of this though?. I'm also taking multivits + iron as sometimes don't eat as well as I should although starting to sort this out.

Might pin a note on fridge to remind me every morning to think positive and don't give in as WILL beat this - maybe my brain will get the message in the end. :yesyes:

[StressedEric]

Sorry think I'll have to go to bed now so can get up early tomorrow morning. I hope you've had a good (dizzyness-less) day and sorry if I've missed you. will be on tomorrow morning around 11am but will quickly look for new posts before go to docs early tomorrow if you post anything later tonight. take care, hope you have a gr8 nights sleep. Plesant dreams! :bighug1:

[georgina20]

Hiya hon so sorry got talking n talking just got bak

[georgina20]

hiya hon going to pm you at 11.30am

[StressedEric]

Hi, hope you having a good morning so far. I know you pm at 11:30 but it takes me a while to write a post so started a bit early. The note is oing on fridge this morning and will print it out shortly :yesyes:.

Glad you had a gr8 night last nite. Being around friends and family def helps and has been invaluable to me and have been going out a lot more now (which is one of my life changes). Everyone is so supportive even tho they don't fully understand what I am feeling. I've also found watching live sport (football, snooker etc.) is relaxing. The golf is on the next 3 days so enjoy watching a bit of that.

Been to docs, she has suggested stay on 20mg for a while longer and gave me 2 months worth of 20mg tabs :ohmy:. lol think she fed up of me! Still got this awful depersonalisation and bouts of high anxiety and my eyesight is still very bad. Doc thinks the eye problem mite be the bout of hayfever I had recently as eyes were very itrritated. Still not 100% sure tho if it is this or the meds causing it.

Got a book of a neighbour recently detailing CBT techniques so gonna try some of them. Have you had any conselling? I had to go private as doc wouldn't refer me but expensive so only had 2 sessions.

[knightingale]

oh my word hun, you sound a lot like me! so similar. Hope you are doing ok, im having a really crap time myself at the mo so probably why im on here currently x

[StressedEric]

oh my word hun, you sound a lot like me! so similar. Hope you are doing ok, im having a really crap time myself at the mo so probably why im on here currently x

Sorry you having a bad time at the moment. The support on NMP is fantasic and we're all here to listen and offer support whenever you are feeling low so you at the right place :hugs:Even though you don't feel it at the moment this bad time will pass and you will have better days again. All the best to you :hugs:

[StressedEric]

Georgina you still on-line?:)

[georgina20]

hiya let me no what time yu back on here hope your day is going ok:)

[StressedEric]

hiya let me no what time yu back on here hope your day is going ok:)

Hiya back on about 9:30pm sent you a pm as well.

[StressedEric]

I know cit. for SOME people (not all!) can make your thoughts foggy and get bouts of dizzyness but was anyone on NMP experienced depersonalisation as a result of taking it? Also, I know I prob asked this question on NMP before but can you kick start dimentia from long term deperonalisation?? I feel that as the days go on I am getting worse and worse and slipping further away from reality........

[StressedEric]

I know cit. for SOME people (not all!) can make your thoughts foggy and get bouts of dizzyness but was anyone on NMP experienced depersonalisation as a result of taking it? Also, I know I prob asked this question on NMP before but can you kick start dimentia from long term deperonalisation?? I feel that as the days go on I am getting worse and worse and slipping further away from reality........

Anybody help?

[Joellie]

Anybody help?

Well for the first week of taking it i felt like someone had ran me over with a truck! Limbs heavy , head foggy. Not nice. But i knew this before i went on it and i gave it 2 weeks and i was feeling much better.
Cit always makes you feel worse first.

[StressedEric]

Well for the first week of taking it i felt like someone had ran me over with a truck! Limbs heavy , head foggy. Not nice. But i knew this before i went on it and i gave it 2 weeks and i was feeling much better.
Cit always makes you feel worse first.

Been on it for 3 months now. :ohmy: raising dose ronly made things worse.

[Joellie]

If your still feeling shit they might not be right for you. Go to your gp and try something else?

[StressedEric]

If your still feeling shit they might not be right for you. Go to your gp and try something else?

She did try to get me to change and started to come off cit but stupidly decided to stay on cit half way though weaning of it as scared to come off it cos of withdrawl effects and also terrified of side effects of new med! :scared15: