Fighting a losing battle

[DavidJ85]

I've been fine for a good few weeks, learning how to keep my anxiety at bay and thinking I'm doing really well.

Then suddenly I just start thinking about it again or have a negative thought and then it just takes over. Mind goes on overdrive thinking random weird thoughts, everything I see makes me scared, then the fear gets heightened and before I know it I think I'm totally losing control.

I start shaking, panicing and not knowing what to do yet my heartrate stays perfectly low. It's so strange.

Does this sound like anyone else as I keep thinking, is this anxiety or am I going mad?

ALSO does anyone feel like when they say something they immediately evaluate what they've just said and it makes them worry?

I think I'm going insane and going to end up institutionalised. I'm terrified and hate this!

[gypsywomen]

your not going insane ,,anxiety is so powerfull .Do yopu realise how stro g we are copig with it day in day out ,,keeping at bay it takes strength ,dont give in to these thoughts you know you will be ok you have been there before,

[phw]

David. You are okay! Remember this : What you "feel" and what reality is are 2 very different things. Don't think of the "What if?" situations. You are well and able enough to type out your post on this forum. If you were going mad or insane your post would have looked something like this : dujqzhgduiq iuwd*%&(&bUU!B \bz bz b.........:D

See, you have the control over what you are feeling. Now remember this : Your head tells you one thing but your body has different "symptoms". When I get panicky my heart beats faster. I only think of it as me doing exercise and raising my heartbeat through the excercise. Think of it this way. When you exercise, you are sweaty, you are short of breath, your mouth is dry and your heart beats faster. When you are panicky, the same happens. Nothing happening to you is out of the ordinary. It is your mind that tells you that this is different. My mind sometimes wants to trick me into thinking that this panick is much worse than it has ever been before! All I think of then is worst case scenario. The absolute worst that can happen is that you will hyper-ventilate and you may pass out, only for your body to regulate your breathing for you and you waking up and feeling okay again. Please please please remember that it is JUST A FEELING.

I wish you all the best. You hang in there and believe in yourself. One day you can look back and smile about all of this!

[DavidJ85]

Thanks guys and girls.

The thing is it's not the feelings as more so the way I interpet thoughts in my head. Let's say I'm sitting watching a movie when suddenly something totally normal will happen in the movie yet my brain will interpret it all wrong and be scared. Yet I know I'm not scared but my body reacts to the fear which then sends me worrying.

Does this sound insane?

[martin1976]

Hi DavidJ85, it doesn't sound insane at all mate, when my anxiety is bad like recently I can watch movies and have allsorts of wierd thoughts (and they're not even horrors!! lol). Like Iwatched the Truman Show and thought "oh no what if I start to believe that my life is a lie and everyone are actors" or when I watched Fight Club i thought "Omg what if i invent a imaginary friend and start acting wierd", the list is endless... Although it seems strange to think that way now I had awful panic attacks because of how powerful the anxiety can be...
You are not going mad mate, as a person who is doesn't notice anything wrong within themselves they believe it is the world around them that is wrong..
Hope you feel better soon mate.
Martin

[Jenny85]

Hey David, just remember it's not your fault...you're not insane. Anxiety is a very powerful force, whoever it comes into contact with. Think about it like that. I always prefer to think of anxiety as something that was just swirling about on the wind, and it happened to bump into me. It wasn't my fault that it happened, it wasn't some defect in me that caused it. You have good people to talk to on here. We do what we have to do to cope, and this will NOT last forever.