Ive been used again - when will I learn

[darkangel]

I have been doing really well and thought I was starting to turn my life around. After a long abusive marriage which I left 8 months ago I started going out with someone who I have known for 3 years. He has always been caring, sensitive and a very ggod friend. We started going out with each other and we were supportive to each other. I fully trusted him as I had known him for so long. As time went on he would tell me more stories about his past and revealed quite painful things - I was always there for him. He told me he had depression and PTSD, he then changed it to Bi-Polar, I have now found out it is actually Narsisstic Personality Disorder. He has been fabricating stories to get my love and support and all the time has been lying and cheating on me with his ex. He was so understanding in the beginning to my anxiety and panic attacks and even said he had them so fully understood what I felt. I always sensed something wasnt true but when we spoke about how I felt he said it was my irrational thinking. I have lost my self esteem, my trust in others and my confidence and my anxiety is creeping up on me again. How do I get over this? He proposed to me 2 months ago and we talked about haivng a child. I saw him every day and now I feel my world has collapsed again. Sorry to rattle on but I feel so lost.

Darkangel

........life is for living not just for surviving

[tnt808]

Darkangel,

I am so sorry that someone took such advantage of you. But, it's shame on them, not you. Do not beat yourself up over this, learn from it. I would say the way to get over it is to fully concentrate on you. Do what you want, go where you want, eat what you want. It's your time sounds like you've been through enough. Time to take care of you.

Good luck,
Tina

[Piglet]

Oh hun - I feel for you I really do.

I'm not too great on the old trust thing myself since my own marriage break up, as I have always found my friends so much more loyal and reliable, so it must be especially gutting if that friend turns out not to be what you thought either.

Just for now until you feel on a more even keel try and have a good time with your friends and the people whom you know you can trust.

I do think though it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all - one of these days we will get it right, don't give up on it all together.

Piglet xx

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[seh1980]

Just to say that I'm thinking of you. All of us get ourselves in these situations where we trust someone we shouldn't or someone we trust poos on us from a great height. You can't blame yourself for trying to see the best in people... :D

"If life were simple, word would have got around"

[Tomimo]

Sorry that you are having such a rough time. It is always easier for people to get you while you are down but it is his loss and not yours, no matter how bad it feels.

Try and keep your chin up and stay strong :)

Annie x

[darkangel]

Thank you for all your support and I will take on baord your advice. Perhaps it is time to do things that I enjoy and concentrate on myself. I suppose I havent been taking care of myself I always put others first but today is a new day and I am looking forward with more optimism.

Darkangel x

........life is for living not just for surviving