gracesophia
12-07-10, 12:16
Hi everyone,
A bit of background. I've always had health anxiety. I was with my ex for nine years, and we didn't really have sex cause I thought I had vaginismus. We split up in December and since then it's turned out I can have sex..
I had an awful one night stand in January and the condom split and that set me off on a horrible HIV worry that was completely disproportionate. I've had sexual activity, but not full sex with quite a few people, and have also had protected sex with a friend, and another one night stand.
I've paid to have private HIV checks twice, which is stupid, but as soon as I stop worrying about HIV I start thinking I have Herpes or genital warts.
Back in April (when I had only slept with one person and had sexual contact with another) I found these skin tag-looking things on my labia minora. I freaked out and thought they were Herpes - went to the GUM clinic, the doctor said it definitely wasn't Herpes, and I thought he said they maybe looked 'a bit warty'. A few weeks later I was moving to another city for a couple of months so went to get them check again. The nurse thought they didn't look like warts, said that the doctors notes actually said they DIDN'T look warty. She then got the head doctor at the clinic to come in and have a look and he said they didn't look like warts.
While I was in Edinburgh I found another sore I thought could be Herpes so went to the clinic and got fully tested. It wasn't. And they would have noticed the skin tags while they were looking.
So when I got back from Edinburgh, a guy I had been involved in (but hadn't slept with) told me he thought he had warts. I then noticed that my labia was looking bumpy and had more skin tags, so went to the GUM clinic. She had a look and said nothing I had looked like classic warts, but they were maybe 'a bit warty' and warts always look different so she couldn't be sure. She used cryotherapy on them (to try and freeze them off!) and said if they were just skin tags, they should come off anyway. She gave me a leaflet about genital warts, but I think that was just for the 'After care' instructions on cryotherapy. I think maybe, because she had seen my notes and knew I kept coming in about these, and knows I suffer from anxiety, she just treated them to shut me up! She didn't say anything about having to tell future partners and said 'most people have been exposed anyway'.
I've spent the last week googling genital warts and worrying. I'm not seeing anyone at the minute, but I really like the friend I slept with in May (but he doesn't want a relationship). I'm worried that I might have given warts to him. If they are warts, I don't know whether to tell him I possibly exposed him, because if he doesn't have symptoms, it's just going to make him worry for no reason. I think something could maybe happen with us but I feel like me having warts has ruined it now.
I'm worried that I now won't be able to have a relationship because I'll have to say to everyone 'I had these skin tags that could have been warts'. I think it would almost be better if I went to the GUM clinic and they said they definitely were, because then at least the uncertainty would be gone :weep: and I'd know that I had to tell people.
Has anyone had warts? Did you have to tell anyone about them and what was their reaction? Am I completely over-reacting?
I'm also so worried that I'm never going to have a normal sex life because I am so freaked out about STIs, especially the fact that condoms don't guarantee you won't get herpes or HPV. And that these aren't tested for. It seems you just have to take risks, and I can't do that!
I'm meant to be writing a dissertation this summer and instead I'm just googling genital warts.. it's ridiculous! I want to undo the last 6 months of my life and not have had so much casual sex. I feel guilty and awful and dirty because of it, and feel like I deserve this worry as punishment.
A bit of background. I've always had health anxiety. I was with my ex for nine years, and we didn't really have sex cause I thought I had vaginismus. We split up in December and since then it's turned out I can have sex..
I had an awful one night stand in January and the condom split and that set me off on a horrible HIV worry that was completely disproportionate. I've had sexual activity, but not full sex with quite a few people, and have also had protected sex with a friend, and another one night stand.
I've paid to have private HIV checks twice, which is stupid, but as soon as I stop worrying about HIV I start thinking I have Herpes or genital warts.
Back in April (when I had only slept with one person and had sexual contact with another) I found these skin tag-looking things on my labia minora. I freaked out and thought they were Herpes - went to the GUM clinic, the doctor said it definitely wasn't Herpes, and I thought he said they maybe looked 'a bit warty'. A few weeks later I was moving to another city for a couple of months so went to get them check again. The nurse thought they didn't look like warts, said that the doctors notes actually said they DIDN'T look warty. She then got the head doctor at the clinic to come in and have a look and he said they didn't look like warts.
While I was in Edinburgh I found another sore I thought could be Herpes so went to the clinic and got fully tested. It wasn't. And they would have noticed the skin tags while they were looking.
So when I got back from Edinburgh, a guy I had been involved in (but hadn't slept with) told me he thought he had warts. I then noticed that my labia was looking bumpy and had more skin tags, so went to the GUM clinic. She had a look and said nothing I had looked like classic warts, but they were maybe 'a bit warty' and warts always look different so she couldn't be sure. She used cryotherapy on them (to try and freeze them off!) and said if they were just skin tags, they should come off anyway. She gave me a leaflet about genital warts, but I think that was just for the 'After care' instructions on cryotherapy. I think maybe, because she had seen my notes and knew I kept coming in about these, and knows I suffer from anxiety, she just treated them to shut me up! She didn't say anything about having to tell future partners and said 'most people have been exposed anyway'.
I've spent the last week googling genital warts and worrying. I'm not seeing anyone at the minute, but I really like the friend I slept with in May (but he doesn't want a relationship). I'm worried that I might have given warts to him. If they are warts, I don't know whether to tell him I possibly exposed him, because if he doesn't have symptoms, it's just going to make him worry for no reason. I think something could maybe happen with us but I feel like me having warts has ruined it now.
I'm worried that I now won't be able to have a relationship because I'll have to say to everyone 'I had these skin tags that could have been warts'. I think it would almost be better if I went to the GUM clinic and they said they definitely were, because then at least the uncertainty would be gone :weep: and I'd know that I had to tell people.
Has anyone had warts? Did you have to tell anyone about them and what was their reaction? Am I completely over-reacting?
I'm also so worried that I'm never going to have a normal sex life because I am so freaked out about STIs, especially the fact that condoms don't guarantee you won't get herpes or HPV. And that these aren't tested for. It seems you just have to take risks, and I can't do that!
I'm meant to be writing a dissertation this summer and instead I'm just googling genital warts.. it's ridiculous! I want to undo the last 6 months of my life and not have had so much casual sex. I feel guilty and awful and dirty because of it, and feel like I deserve this worry as punishment.