Another bad day :(

[tashbarnes87]

I just wish i could get a break from worrying endlessly about MS :weep:

I have had a twitch in my right arm well its more like a spasm across my breast that runs to my underarm, it is terrifying :( i get it at least once a day and after googling it seems arm spasms are very common in MS suffers.

I find myself feeling like i HAVE been diagnosed already & i am literally waiting for that one bad thing to happen to confirm my fears. i am waiting for the arm spasm to become severe so it lifts my arm, or my occasional blurred vision to become so bad i cant see. Everywhere i look its MS, MS, MS even on sat i saw someone collecting for a MS charity & i just was ready to cry. I am so scared by this arm spasm its a horrible feeling just like i have been hit by something :( it doesnt hurt at all its just scary.

It started on the 30th May 2009 ( day i went to drayton manor & it happened about 5 times in 3 mins) it then went away over xmas and has recently come back. Apart from a burning tongue & muscle twitches which i have had for about 18 months i have no other 'symptoms' of ms althoough im sure they all could be!

Do you think if i had ms that was causing my arm spam something would have happened in 14 months ? something severe to confirm my worst fears? x

[randomworry]

hey tash have you ever tried to think about what you fear about MS. Maybe if you thought you could cope with MS then it would not trouble you as much.

i know someone with MS who works full time and is really healthy in fact there are loads of people with it that live normal lives. please dont worry about it so much.

by the way you dont have it anyway

[tashbarnes87]

Im worried about Dying & that alone! I worry that i will be handed effectively a death sentance & i will have to leave my beautiful son & daughter to be. Thats all! it could be anything really but my brain has picked MS x

[Typer]

How horrible to worry about dying and leaving your kids. I know what you mean about your brain just picking an illness out like that.

I think everyone must fear death and dying but sometimes instead of it laying at the back of the mind as with most...it seems to be in everything...every word, every breath etc. It's hard to conquer but you can conquer that fear, perhaps by being at peace with life and death. I dunno for sure, but I do know people who have moved on from this fear.

Anyway big hugs to you

[randomworry]

MS is not a fatal illness so keep telling yourself this so you can let the fear go

[Wee-Mee]

I cae on here to say some comforting words and this is a similar worry for me too at the moment so I'm at a loss althought it's muscle loss for me:( and the chartiy things...I see cancer ones and freak out over them it physically makes me nauseous and I can NEVER walk past one without putting soething in! *hugs* cxxx

[tashbarnes87]

thanks for all your replies. To me MS is one of the worst things i can imagine getting. I know its stupid but im really really scared by it. Im terrified that once my baby is born all my symptoms will get worse as MS is known to flare up after childbirth. My doctor just keeps saying i would have more symptoms by now but i feel like he is telling me what i want to hear. So fed up of worrying like this :(

[rebeccad]

hey tash big hugs to you, your really struggling at the moment and no matter what anybody tells you it wont help. I know exactly where your coming from the word ms is everywhere yesterday i read a random post from somebody on another anxiety forum and the first sentence was im off work with an ms flare up. I have minor other ha issues but ms is always the biggie and i think its because we both know how hard it is to diagnose. But look at it like this you have been suffering for well over 12 months now and im sure that the "big" thing would have happened by now. When your beautiful baby girl arrives you will see things differently im sure. Again i dont really have any advice because if i did i would use it myself lol. If you need to message me just to rant at somebody that completley understands feel free.
big hugs
xxxxxx

[dodo]

I know for sure having suffered really badly with general HA in the past that muscle twitches come aprt and parcel of it. When I felt better in myself the twitches went away.

For me at the moment it is muscle weakness. I am convinced that something is wrong with me again now. I feel weak constantly and have no energy. Even going up the stairs I am knackered. I am not overweight so that's not an issue.

I think you're fine. And don't forget, pregnancy can throw you some wierd things. I had my daughter a whole year ago and can list hundreds of symptoms I got with it!!!

[cattia]

I feel your pain! Since the birth of my daughter 6 months ago I have had weird aches and pains and this week I have developed an electric shock type sensation in a nerve in my foot that goes up my leg to below the knee, and I am convinced I have MS. I torture myself with thoughts of leaving my amazing daughter, I am so scared. This morning I was sitting in traffic and obsessing about it, and the car in front of me had the number plate MSS!!! NO word of a lie! I know I would not have usually noticed it, but what are the chances? When I see things like this I think it is a sign that I do have this disease. I also didn't know that it was more common after childbirth so that freaks me out even more! I have so many weird sensations in my nerves. I try to be positive but I feel like Iam going to pieces and I feel guilty that I spend so much time thikning about this as I know it affects the quality of time that I spend with my little girl.

[sjr1969]

i can relate to these posts. ms has always been a big fear of mine. i have the electric shock symptoms amongst others. My dad had ms so i saw it first hand and i dont think that has helped me with this really.

Sarah x

[crazyhayz]

I had sooo many symtpoms of MS, and it turned out to all be anxiety. Since my recovery started, the symptoms have come less and less, and now not atall. The mind is a very powerful thing. Dont let it control you.

Good luck x

[tashbarnes87]

I feel your pain! Since the birth of my daughter 6 months ago I have had weird aches and pains and this week I have developed an electric shock type sensation in a nerve in my foot that goes up my leg to below the knee, and I am convinced I have MS. I torture myself with thoughts of leaving my amazing daughter, I am so scared. This morning I was sitting in traffic and obsessing about it, and the car in front of me had the number plate MSS!!! NO word of a lie! I know I would not have usually noticed it, but what are the chances? When I see things like this I think it is a sign that I do have this disease. I also didn't know that it was more common after childbirth so that freaks me out even more! I have so many weird sensations in my nerves. I try to be positive but I feel like Iam going to pieces and I feel guilty that I spend so much time thikning about this as I know it affects the quality of time that I spend with my little girl.

aww hun sorry if i worried you even more. I chuckled about the license plate only because i would have been exactly the same & probaby started crying lol

Have you been to the docs? xx

[cattia]

thanks tashbarnes :) I am going to the doc's on Monday. I want an MRI but I am pretty sure he will fob me off with anxiety and I know he can't diagnose anything just from talking to me. This morning I had a feeling like a wet patch on my leg, thought some water had got inside my trousers, but they were toally dry, so now am freaking out even more! The number plate was kind of funny in a black humour sort of a way! I did some research on the whole MS and pregnancy thing though, and I found out that the latest research suggests that women with MS (see how I almost class myself as someone who actually has this illness) actually fare better in the long term if they have given birth, and the resason that it can seem like giving birth brings on MS is becasue if you already have MS then it usually goes into remission when you are pg but tends to flareup afterards, because during pg your hormoes surpress it, but there is apparently no evidence that if you don't have MS then being pregrnant and giving birth will bring it on. I thought I would share this with you as it might make you feel better. When is your baby due?

[dodo]

crazyhayz do you mind me asking how you have got over this? I am so fed up of it all, I wish I could find some help.