scared stiff on suicide please help

[scaredstiff695]

hi,
i joineed this site in desperate need for someone like me and not sure if you are that person but let me tell u my story and see if it helps. I have a immense fear of dying and whenever im stressed, feeling lonley or trapped thats my instant fear. 7 years ive had this and their are times when im fine and dont think about it untill im stressed etc. However mine is different i always think im dying of a certain thing for instance, the first time was dvt i watched on tv a lady die of dvt and i was convinced thats how i was going to die. The second time i started getting panic attacks and realised they wont kill me it progressed to a brain hemmorage (a friend of mine had told me her mum died of taht and i was convinced tahts how i was goig to die). That went away i lived a fairly normal life untill about five weeks ago when my panic attacks started again i again knew these wouldnt harm me and then all of a sudden they changed to suicide i must state I DO NOT WANT TO DIE i just believe that one day i will snap and kill myself not cos i want to but because thats how im going to die this scares me more tahn anything ever before, (a old friend killed herself about 8 weeks ago0 and she had bipolar and wad depressed im scared of feeling depressed or anything in case it makes me take my own life and i dont want to.

Is there anyone out there like me cos im feeling really lonley wth this matter at the moment

[onceagain]

Hi Scared

I do not have this but wanted to send a hug and to let you know that you will be supported here... x

[gypsywomen]

at times we all feel like we cant take anymore,,but believe me the human body is stronger than you think ,,and the mind ,fear is with us from day one its up to us how we let it affect us ,why would you kill yourself if your scared of dying ,, that's strange i think what you mean you need a way out from your anxiety am i right

[onceagain]

Hi M

Hope you are well can I say that you know that you have hit the nail on the head with that response for me... sometimes we get so low it does make you think I cannot take it anymore x

[Jaguar]

I do not have this but i also want to send hugs and my support :hugs:

[scaredstiff695]

in a way yes but no i no taht i would never kill myself but these thoughts come and make me belive that im going to die that way without me wanting to like im going to pnanic and kill myself i would rather live with anxiety for the rest of my life then kill myself so why do i nthink like this im sooo scared of these thoughts can anxiety make you do something you dont want to dO/

[belle854]

Hello, its great you have joined this site as every member on here is battling with there own demons. We may not always have exactly the same fears but fears is what we have. On here you will have support and make friends with people that understand, I joined a few months ago and went to a meetup last week where I met up with 7 fantastic people, we were all strangers but we all had that one thing in common and I felt great being in there company. Have a good look around the site, ask questions and share your fears with others, there will always be someone here for you so never feel your alone as on here we always have each other.

[scaredstiff695]

why wont it let me read what you have all put

[scaredstiff695]

thank you all for your support and im welcoming your hugs its really hard cos i know i dont want to die i find myself searching through the net mfor reassuarrance that i wont kill myself and that a demon wont suddenly take over and make that happen ive yet to find someone like me and gueess i really need that right now xx

[gypsywomen]

you might think it ,but you wont if everyone killed there self who had anxiety the world would be a small place ...more and more people have it ,but at least you have us to help ,, try to let your mind think happy thoughts ,write down the good things you like make a list on the other things you don't i bet like is more be brave my friend you can do it believe me i came through this xxxx

[scaredstiff695]

i know i can beat anxiety ive done it before and i dont see suicide has a way out i dont believe in suicide im scared of dying and my anxiety is now scared i will kill myself even though i dont want to its so hard ive given up anything taht stimulates my mind and anything that will make anxious cos im so scared taht if i panic i will die by suicide and i DONT WANT TAHT xxx

[scaredstiff695]

i find that when people say things to me i anaylise them like when you just said to me be brave i think why do i need to be brave am i suicidal then i think no i dont want to die. I suppose im scared of a demon or something coming over me and making me commit suicide and i need to reallise their are people out there like me people that have a fear of dying cos thats basically what i aheva fear of dying by suicide im not suicidal i have a phobia of dying and at the moment that dying is suicide and all it is is a phobia and nobody but me can make me die of suicde dont want to die so what the hell am i so chuffing scared of?

[Bill]

I think perhaps that every time you hear about someone dying it acts as a trigger making you panic because of your fear of dying. I also think feeling so anxious and panicky that these feelings make you fear you'll lose you mind causing you to commit suicide without meaning to and that thought frightens you which in turn makes you feel more anxious causing you to panic...and so on.:shrug:

[aspinan]

Your not alone.. I had a fear that I would unknowingly kill my children when having an attack which freaked me out no end. I can assure you you wont kill yourself even when having the mother of all attacks. Even when having a mother of all attacks there will always be a rational side to you which wont allow you to do anything like that. Always always remember your NOT mad, your NOT bad and you WILL get better, or as I say it when I'm very anxious NOT NOT WILL. Nxxxx