Dreading the thought of school..

[rblt94]

After the 4th of July, school is bound to be right around the corner. And around that corner lurks the negative thoughts and feelings of it. I'm going to be a junior in high school this year and can't believe at 16 that I still am just as scared of school as I was when I was 6. The main thing I hate about school is the sense that I don't have any control..like the thought of me being trapped in a classroom starting to panic and wanting to escape before I embarass myself. And it's something that I can't get away from..I have to go through this everyday and tear my body up mentally. I'm drained at the end of everyday with headaches from all the anxiety attacks. I know the saying "power of positive thinking" but it's hard for someone that has lived with that train of thought their whole life. I'm trying..I started writing in a journal to map out my thinking process and train my subconcious mind to think rationally. I'm trying to cut down on caffiene and exercise more to release all the negative energy. I'm also trying to steer my focus on something else when I'm worked up so I can do the same at school..I just hate the fact that something like this is all I'm worried about. I want to escape this world and move onto the real one for people to get to know the real me that isn't caged by all of this crap..
So anyone else been through this or going through this? I would appreciate any story..