Am I being a complete drama queen???

[jill07]

Ok, so despite my good intentions, I still havent started the Citalopram.... they are sat in my cupboard daring me to be brave, but I cant kick the fear!
After recent throat op I am all out of sorts, feeling very very ill and run down. GP says may be post viral fatigue.... I am light headed, off balance, exhausted and suffering major derealisation (like I'm living in a bubble). The thing is, I have a toddler to look after on my own. I am just about coping now, but scared stiff that the Citalopram will chuck a load more symptoms at me. I am scared that it will make me drowsy/ zombie. I have always been anti medication (not the meds Im against, its the side effects Im scared of! got diazepam but never taken that either).
So, my thinking is how about weaning myself onto it slowly? Prescribed 10mg, was thinking of starting 2.5mg for few days, then up to 5mg, and so on. I know it will take ages to get into my system that way, but surely Im better getting it in slowly than not at all?
What do you all reckon?

[cherbear32]

Hi Jill

I'm also very anti medication. I started on 5mg for a week or so then went to 10mg for 3 days or so and now i've been on 20mg for 6 days. The side effects were awful - heightend anxiety, no appeitite, sweating etc. However, this morning was the first morning i've woken up in last 2 weeks without feeling very anxious and restless. If you can spend a couple of weeks relaxing as much as possible

[jill07]

Thanks, were your side effects still really bad even at 5mg? The problem I have is that I feel so unwell at the moment that I dont think I could handle the bad effects! x

[jaded jean]

Hi Jill07.
You might not even get the side effects, there have been a few posts on here with people saying 'well its not so bad as I thought ' or 'I coped with that' . Maybe look at it in time frames even 2 weeks and you should notice a difference, have you read the citalopram survival guide? It was my bible at the beginning and I read it chapter and verse!! I was pill phobic and this was my third attempt at a/d's and I had to ride it thru and you know what ? that grotty 2 weeks passed so quickly and the change was incredible.
I hope you decide soon . take care.
keep posting to let us know how you are doing
Jean:hugs:

[den68]

i took 5mg to start with and even though i felt a bit sick it wasnt that bad. i took them at night to start with as i have a pill phobia and thought id be better to sleep through the side effects to start. After a couple of days on 5mg put it up to 10mg. After the initial fear of the pill has passed and you start to feel a bit better youll think its worth it
denise

[jill07]

Thanks for that, I've still not taken the plunge yet as I have been feeling a little more positive over the last couple of days, like I have got a bit of my fight back.
I still feel physically rubbish though, although I accept that I maybe havent allowed myself enough time to recover from recent surgery (2 weeks tomorrow).
I plan to give myself a week.... if no better then I will def start the pills... nothing to lose!
xxx

[Hysteria]

You just have to go for it I guess.

I'm severely plagued by emetophobia - severely. When I had swine flu I wouldn't take tamiflu because it causes vomiting.

Obviously me being like this I refuse to take tablets that can cause nausea and/or vomiting and citalopram has a high rate of nausea but very low of vomiting. However, I was also feeling the same WITHOUT taking the tablets. My main anxiety symptom was obviously severe nausea.

Basically you have to look at it this way.

Spend the unforeseeable future feeling anxious and physically ill
or
Take a chance at being anxious for, at most, around 2 weeks but then feel relief for however long.

To me it was a rather easy choice but I know personally how hard it is to cross that barrier and just go for it. It isn't easy and it is scary but you can do it, you're not alone.

[jill07]

Thanks, I know how silly it is being scared to take a pill that has been prescribed to help me, and if I was alone it would be an awful lot easier to take, but I am alone all day with my little girl and am scared to death that the side effects will compromise my ability to look after her properly.... I feel bad enough already and am struggling as it is! Im also not convinced that the problem is totally down to anxiety.... the physical illness is so overwhelming! x

[bomberbeamish]

jill im in the same boat ,, i got a post on here about swaping from prozac to cit,, and im a mess,, and got kids , and dont wanna be on my own,,,,, i dont know what to do ,, plz read my post ,x

[Oddfish]

I know how hard it is to take the plunge. Sometimes ignorance is bliss with regards to taking these tablets! Perhaps you could go back to the doctors and voice your concerns about potential side effects and see what they suggest. Perhaps a very gradual increase in dose is the best option, but I'd talk to the doc .

[Vanilla Sky]

Jill , the side effects will never be as bad as the anxiety you have had already. I was anti meds to , but i am so glad i took them , i am feeling so much better. I a now on 40mg and i am not having any problems at all . The 1st week i had loss of appetite and was a bit anx , but like i said nothing compared to what i had before , i tell you !
Bite the bullet and take them , you will be glad you did :)
Paige xx

[absentia]

Hi jill07,

I started on 10mg and had very few side effects. It made me feel a little light headed and strange for a few days but that was it. I think you would be fine to start on 5mg and work your way up to 10mg afer a few days or even a week. With my experience I would say you have little to worry about. People who suffer problems with Citalopram are usually started out on 20mg, which is ridiculous for any doctor to even think of prescribing. These people will normally suffer for up to 2 weeks. Introduce yourself slowly and if things are getting bad, lower your dose for a few days. Good luck :hugs:

[jill07]

Well, took the plunge and started last night.... although being a wimp I only took 2.5mg! not much, but still better than nothing and just pleased I have managed to commit and finally start them.
Just took 2nd dose and all in all so far so good. Had major waves of feeling very very sick throughout the day and off food, but thats nothing unusual as I get this with anxiety anyway so may well just be that.
Its a brave move for me, Ive been scared to take them for months now so Im a happy chicken... up to 5mg in a couple of days, then up to 10mg.... it may be slow but better than not at all I suppose!

[happycamper]

Hey there,

Just wanted to say I too was very worried to take citalopram, kept them hidden away for 2 weeks, read lots of posts on here before deciding to go for it, took half a 20mg tablet each day initially, the 1st week or so I got side affects such as feeling groggy and a little nauseous and headachy, but I still managed to go to work - I'm a nurse in the community as well as care for my 2 active boys, I felt like I'd been on a night shift but nothing was impossible and now 5 weeks on I'm taking the 20mg no problem and definately feeling a lot better and no regrets at all.

Hope that helps a little. X

[jill07]

Thanks, Im usually a strong brave confident person but this anxiety has turned me into a frightened little rabbit.... Im a shadow of who I used to be! Thats why I wanted to start the meds though.... Ive been strong and fought this alone for months, but got to accept that the 'real me' has been slipping further and further away.... so need a little help to get back to being that person again!
Do you take yours am or pm? doc advised me pm to start as would sleep through side effects ( drowsiness scares me as I am alone with my 2 year old all day) xxx

[happycamper]

I take mine in the evening, I've never been too drowsy to still hear my 4 and 5 years olds in the night, my husband is the one that can still sleep through them. In fact getting to sleep is a bit harder for some reason although think that's getting better now.
I also think that accepting my anxiety to myself and other people has been a great help instead of hiding it away and internalising everything. Few people know I take anti d's which is how I want it, but those who I've chosen to tell have been very supportive. I feel a weight is lifted off my shoulders. X

[jill07]

Thank you, its nice to hear positive remarks about Citalopram as there are a lot of negatives out there! x

[happycamper]

Tell me about it! I think I persevered mainly with reading the comprehensive stuff from this site and very glad I did. Hope to hear how you get on Jill07. X

[Vanilla Sky]

I take mine pm and it suits me fine . To be honest thats what put me of meds was reading stuff about it . I am so glad i just decided to get on with it and take them , I am feeling so much better now :D


Paige x

[jill07]

Well, day 3 and I am stopping these meds.... doing me more harm than good and just do not feel well enough to cope with the side effects.
2 days @ 2.5mg, then 1 day @5mg..... extreme nausea/ acid indigestion/ headaches and raised anxiety all manageable, but woke up today feeling totally off this planet.... away with the fairies well and truly, to the extent I found it hard to function with basic tasks. Then to top it off this aft had major scale panic... worst I have had for months, truly thought I was going insane and would end up in hospital. Phoned single point of access and spoke to a lovely guy there who advised me that I need to go back to gp to discuss meds as these dont sound like they are for me, told me to avoid diazepam as derealisation is my main prob, and has given me number to ring for self referal tomorrow.
Oh well, really wanted to give them a try, but with effects so severe at low dose I cant see I would ever manage a dose high enough!

[suzannacorfu]

Hi Jill07,
I too was frightened of the side effects etc etc and my marvellous Psychiatrist friend put me on the following:
5mg for 4 days
10 mg the following 4 days
15 mg the following 4 days
20 mg from then on.
I took it every morning after breakfast and had absolutely NO side effects at al. Nothing. Zilch.
The one thing I DID do tho was to have the packet next to me on the desk and I'd stroke them telling them what a great friend they were about to be to me. Yes I realise that I sound weird but believe me our minds cause all this and it can also help if we "harness" it's power to work FOR us instead of AGAINST us.
I hope you do well
Suz
x