Holiday looming

[juliej]

Well another year has passed and here I am still in the same situation waiting for the impending holiday. I can't sleep , can't eat , keep rushing to the loo , yes the fear has got the upper hand again. So many people enjoy this time of the year , getting excited about going off on their holidays well I dread it :scared15:. I feel so dreadful as I know the kids love going away and my husband works so hard and really needs a break . And to top it all ive got a blasted cold so thats worse as I cant breath. arhhhhh

Why oh why can we just not be the same away as we are home.

I went to see my GP the other day ( ive finally accepted im going to need some help ) who was really sympathetic especially as I have recently lost my Mum . He said no you don't need medication thats not going to work , you are going to have to get to the root of the problem otherwise it will never go away. So he has referred me for therapy. He did however give me some valium (2mg) to take when needed. Im sitting here wondering whether I should take any ???? Oh I hate this anxiety just when you think yes Im getting the hang of this (after 16 years!!) doing a few more challenges you're back at square one again :doh:

Thank you for listening if anyone is awake at this crazy time 3 am :wacko:

Julie xx

[Bill]

Oh, I'm Always up at this crazy time because I Am going crazy!:wacko:

Sounds like you've got a good doctor!:winks: Should be more like him!

I'm just the same as you. Holidays mean hassle and added stress! The only thing I cling on to is that the time before is always worse than once it's arrived just like Christmas.

Once it arrives, we breathe a sigh of relief and can relax!

So what I'd suggest is take the diazepam "as and when" you feel most in need but also try and keep your mind occupied on other things like doing crosswords, reading a book etc because if you can distract your mind from your worries you'll feel more relaxed.

Once you're on holiday you'll be too busy enjoying yourself to feel anxious.

I'd worry about the causes once you're back and receiving therapy.:hugs:

[PUGLETMUM]

:)hey, you dont say where you are going? - im only able to manage uk, so we are goin center parcs and only for 4 nights - im nervous as usual but i will go and have a good time - i dont feel so bad anymore - like i dont dread it - abroard would be a totally different matter though!

anyway id advise only taking the valium if you are really stressed and i find they are best at night for night time anxiety - you know when you actually cannot sleep coz of it? dont take them before you go, and only take them if you feel you cant cope - you dont hav eto be in total control - no-one will notice - but you know when you arent coping - and i think they just help at times like that to give you a breather and gain some pespective - thye help all th ephysical symptoms so you can rest and realise that really your jus tgetting worked up about fight/flight symptoms

[juliej]

Thanks Bill for your advice nice to know i'm in good crazy company !!

Emma we are off to North Devon (woolacombe) go every year kids love the surfing. The travelling is a huge problem , oh and being away from home!! :unsure:. We are in Benfleet which is near southend on sea so it takes about five hours. Also going to Spain in August for a week first time abroad in 15 years !! Not doing anything by halves this year especially with recent events I feel like im in melt down. :wacko::wacko:

We like center parcs too which one do you go to ?

[panicdiva]

OMG! I really feel for you & I sooooo understand what you are going through. I am the exact same every holiday I go, even centre parcs (although I do love it too)! lol

I just came back last wk from an 11 day holiday to Spain. THis was my first time abroad & flying for 4 years.

I was ill for days b4 it, I got on the flight though and I was not too bad. But, the real anxiety hit when I got there!!! OMG I was so far from my comfort zone, & the sickening realisation that I could not just get home was horrible. I really believed that I was going to go crazy with anxiety. It really did spoil the first few days of the holiday as I was in a terrible state. I begged my husband to get the 4 of us flights home but he was not for that at all. Also, I could not have handled the guilt feelings if I had made the kids go home.

But, it was not all bad. I did get through it. And I did have moments that I was fine. Like swimming in the pool, at the beach, drinking sangria. These were times when all my anxiety melted away & I actually wondered what I was feeling anxious about. These times never lasted, but gradually as the days went on, those anxiety free moments lasted longer until the anxious moments were less intense & less often.

The flight home was actually ok because my anxiety had gone down & I was on my way home.

THe problem for me is that I have convinced myself that something bad could happen on holiday, away from home that would prevent me from getting home, or would be so bad that I would not cope with it & go crazy.

In my sane moments, I know that logically this is not true, but when I am in those anxiety filled nightmares, I can't see this, and it scares me that I can't see the logic. That is when I really believe I am crazy!!

What I am trying to say is, I really do know how you are feeling, and as horrible as it is, I believe you will have times when you do enjoy it. I know it's easy to wish you were like people who don't think twice about going on holiday & actually love it, but we are not like that. But that does not mean we are abnormal, or crazy or bad.... it just means we handle things differently.

If you need to take the valium when you need it, do that, if that's what helps.

You can do this, even if it is not easy, but the feeling of truimph when you do it and when you see your family enjoying themselves is worth it...

I will be thinking about you..

[disneygirl]

Ohhh i totally feel for you too, i am exactly the same, i just used to put it down to home sickness, but in reality i'm just very anxious being away from home, moreso if a long journey or flight is involved, or it's for a long period of time. I've just come back from honeymoon and i would have quite happily just stayed at home - crazy!x

Hope you can relax and enjoy your break,x

[absentia]

I can relate to this, but I find it gets better the more you do it. I use to always want to go camping at music festivals but didn't like being away from home for too long, but I go to about 3 of them every year and have done now for 4 years and now I look forward to it every year and never want to go home. I am still yet to go abroad after a bad experience when I was 15. We went to spain as a family and I felt so home sick and filled with anxiety that I could not eat anything. This has now lead to me having a fear of not being able to eat when I go places and has came to the point now where I don't even step into restaurants with people as I fear I wont be able to eat what is infront of me. It has some how become a social phobia. Anyway, back on topic, I feel the more you push yourself into being away from home and enjoying yourself, the less of a problem it will become. There is a lot of power behind positive thinking. Anxieties come about by excessive negative thinking, so be positive and really try to enjoy yourself for the sake of yourself and your family. Good luck :hugs:

[smb25]

Hi juliej

I've been taking 2mg of valium every day now for about a month, also 15mg of Mirtazapine at night (helps me to sleep) on the build up to my wedding and honeymoon abroad next week. I have had no adverse effects from taking it and to be hoenst it's been a complete godsend for me. I too was unable to eat, concentrate etc.

I now feel practically "normal". I have only on one occasional had to take 2 diazepam in one day (on my hen day) but am allowed up to 3 if necessary.

Obviously I can't advise medically for you but please don't be afraid to take it, after a day or two I am 99% sure you will feel so much better.

Much love to you
S x

[juliej]

Thanks guys for all your kind thoughts :) I had a good chat with my hubby this morning and we have decided that we are not going to do our normal leaving at 4am on Saturday morning its ridiculous. Lack of sleep is not a good combination with my panic. Thats made me feel a lot better I don't have to rush around like a headless chicken tonight packing when they break up from school (note to oneself never book a holiday straight after kids finish term everyones exhausted and frazzled - first and last time doing that again :)) So Saturday we will have a calm day or try to !! , pack up and probably leave early evening. No pressure , well thats the plan .

If i start feeling anxious tonight I am going to try the valium. At least it may help me settle down for the night.

xx

[Joellie]

Ahh i have a UK holiday coming up and im feeling a little nervious! Im only going up to leeds for 3 nights with the boyfriend but im worried about the anxiety coming while im there.

I have realised though that feeling anxious does not kill me and that io cant tell when it will come on so i try not to think about if i get it but what il do if it does happen.

[PUGLETMUM]

:):ohmy:i am really surprised how many ppl suffer this - i mean i consider myself agoraphobic, but im not sure how many of you struggle with agoraphobia in your everyday life or if its just going on holiday?

im the same as you absentia as i had a nightmare time in paris when i was 17 and ive never been abroard since - however i dont think ive felt comfortable with antbody else enough to go with them - even my husband i dont trust as he doesnt really sympathise, so i just dont go - which is rubbish -coz i think if he didnt get so stressed by me then id prob deal with my stress better - but not sure, as sounds like others put pressure on themselves to go for -for their families and so do better - maybe if my husband had said no way we are going, id have had to go, but he didnt and its like he cant cope with me being stressed.

i havent actually been to center parks yet, but i have travelled a similar distance, so i feel less stressed than i have in the past - we are going to whinfell forest - we live in the northwest, and my daughter has been to that one twice with my husbands folks.

its really sad reading everbodys stories - i knew that members suffer this - but ive usually been reading about it on agoraphobia threads - who classes themselves as agoraphobic? -( the fear of being trapped away from a safe place - not being frightened of open spaces?)

panicdiva - i love your post - so forgiving and caring - thats what i htink we all need - we dont want to feel like this do we? i mean why feel bad when you feel like this just because we are going away from home - thats punishment enough, that we feel so horrible!

juliej and joellie, like me, i hope you manage to atleast not feel too bad and maybe even enjoy ourselves a little? emma xxxxx

[LowrieT]

Holiday season is upon us again with talk of going away again to France/Spain. I detest holidays, never relax - well not for long. I have not been in a plane since 1981. Last time I crossed the Channel by boat it was a roaring gale and in June!!! spent my time up top in case anyone was sick inside. We now take the eurotrain with our car. Almost brilliant for me because it takes 35 mins. So now we have rising tension in the house with me having panic attacks and all the associated illnesses to go with it. Increase in missed heartbeats, bowel upset - I have bad IBS. No doubt there will be an increase in stomach acid etc. and various pains here and there. I say every year - is it worth it? Well I just have to grin and bear it and count the days down until I get back home again.