disneygirl
16-07-10, 08:49
Hello!
I am a newbie here, just stumbled across this website during my usual google obsessive searching trying to find out "why i am ill and dying etc" and what a great website, i thought i was going crazy, but it seems there is a lot of people going through the same thing :blush: ps i'm 26, almost 27 :D
I've suffered with anxiety, depression, panic attacks etc since my divorce 4 years ago, i was in a violent marriage and after leaving i found the most wonderful boyfriend ever who pulled me out and saved me (i know that sounds cheesy but he really did) - helped me find counselling, which i had for about a year and seemed to really cope well with having left, and i was feeling great!
Then after that, i went back to counselling because something sent me tumbling back down, and again, managed to get back up again.
Now this is where i don't understand it, just before i married my Mr Perfect, i was plagued with insecurities and anxiety about dying, i truly believed i wouldn't make the wedding, that i would have a car accident, or get cancer, or something bad would happen and i would die before the wedding :weep: The wedding took place and was the most wonderful day of my life, full of the most amazing feelings and happiness :D We then went on honeymoon until about 4 days before we came home, i started having these thoughts about dying, this was about 16 days ago, and since then i've thought i've got DVT, a blood clot, HIV, Breast Cancer, Lung Cancer, Stomach cancer, and various other cancers. In this time i've also developed a pain on my chest, just about above my right breast, say where the muscle runs across? and since then it's become a severe anxiety that i have breast cancer. My mum is terrified of getting it as her mum, and great grandmother both died of it, and now it's me obsessing about it and i feel terrible :weep: I know realistically, the pain has only been there since i did a bit of a heavy bit of gardening, and lifting pots and twisting my arm to move the soil around so i know i've put strain on that area, but my unrealistic mind just doesn't believe it, it always has to be the worst.
I just want to be happy again.... i have the most wonderful life in the world, a gorgeous and caring husband, my lovely dog, a fancy car and a lovely house, but yet here i am, worrying, all the time.
I didn't realise how common this was, is the mind really this powerful?
Sorry for the long post, sometimes it helps me just to write down how i feel :)
Hope you are all feeling a little better today x
I am a newbie here, just stumbled across this website during my usual google obsessive searching trying to find out "why i am ill and dying etc" and what a great website, i thought i was going crazy, but it seems there is a lot of people going through the same thing :blush: ps i'm 26, almost 27 :D
I've suffered with anxiety, depression, panic attacks etc since my divorce 4 years ago, i was in a violent marriage and after leaving i found the most wonderful boyfriend ever who pulled me out and saved me (i know that sounds cheesy but he really did) - helped me find counselling, which i had for about a year and seemed to really cope well with having left, and i was feeling great!
Then after that, i went back to counselling because something sent me tumbling back down, and again, managed to get back up again.
Now this is where i don't understand it, just before i married my Mr Perfect, i was plagued with insecurities and anxiety about dying, i truly believed i wouldn't make the wedding, that i would have a car accident, or get cancer, or something bad would happen and i would die before the wedding :weep: The wedding took place and was the most wonderful day of my life, full of the most amazing feelings and happiness :D We then went on honeymoon until about 4 days before we came home, i started having these thoughts about dying, this was about 16 days ago, and since then i've thought i've got DVT, a blood clot, HIV, Breast Cancer, Lung Cancer, Stomach cancer, and various other cancers. In this time i've also developed a pain on my chest, just about above my right breast, say where the muscle runs across? and since then it's become a severe anxiety that i have breast cancer. My mum is terrified of getting it as her mum, and great grandmother both died of it, and now it's me obsessing about it and i feel terrible :weep: I know realistically, the pain has only been there since i did a bit of a heavy bit of gardening, and lifting pots and twisting my arm to move the soil around so i know i've put strain on that area, but my unrealistic mind just doesn't believe it, it always has to be the worst.
I just want to be happy again.... i have the most wonderful life in the world, a gorgeous and caring husband, my lovely dog, a fancy car and a lovely house, but yet here i am, worrying, all the time.
I didn't realise how common this was, is the mind really this powerful?
Sorry for the long post, sometimes it helps me just to write down how i feel :)
Hope you are all feeling a little better today x