Decius
16-07-10, 09:26
I have not been formally diagnosed with health anxiety. But I am pretty sure I have it. It really only developed in the past few months. I went through a phase of thinking I was either having a heart attack or a stroke (and now that I have mostly convinced myself I am not at risk for either), I still fear I am going to suddenly drop dead or be diagnosed with some fatal incurable illness. It's frustrating. It's 1 AM here, I can't sleep because I keep thinking about death, or should I say mortality, and now my chest and neck feel all tight and tense... Things have been getting better, I have been trying to work on it. But damn, it is tough. I don't like living this way. I don't like constantly being anxious for no reason. I am tired of worrying about death and my health. The only thing that is actually wrong with me (physically) is my asthma; had it since I was a kid. But now I even get anxious taking my asthma meds before I go to bed (the same ones I've taken for years). I keep thinking I am going to somehow mix my meds with something bad and die. The worst thing I had to eat or drink today was Mountain dew... Other than my asthma I am in good health. So why do I keep feeling tense? Why won't this tightness in the chest go away? There is nothing wrong with me, yet I can't quite let myself believe it. Why? I have irrational fears caused by random symptoms, and I have random symptoms caused by irrational fears. How do you stop the ****ing cycle?
Sorry for the long post. If you take the time to read this and give reassurance/support or express your thoughts on anxiety and how to control and eliminate it, I would really appreciate it. Thanks.
Sorry for the long post. If you take the time to read this and give reassurance/support or express your thoughts on anxiety and how to control and eliminate it, I would really appreciate it. Thanks.